positivegirly
17-09-15, 07:04
hi guys, I have been posting in the panic attack forum & feel I should post here too to get some much needed help. Long story short I gave up my new job after 2 weeks as it made me panic to the point I wasn't eating or sleeping hardly at all, it was a bad experience that has left me broken, I thought I was doing so well then this happens and takes me right back to square one, luckily for me my old boss accepted me back to my old job but on reduced hours. I'm now having full on panic attacks again and still can't eat or sleep properly and now feel so low I don't know how il carry on :( how I managed to work 16hrs in the past two days is beyond me, I can barely function, I feel weak and poorly from a reduced appetite and lack of sleep. I went to see the dr and he said I should take my medication once every day instead of every other how I did before but I don't think it's making much difference. I keep thinking I won't be able to keep this job because I'm feeling panicky and sick every time I have to go in and I don't know why because Iv worked there for 9yrs, I' think it might be because people are talking and asking me why I'm back & I don't think they are happy Iv just been allowed back with quite a good number of hours as hours are in short supply at the moment in there so maybe that's why I feel panicky? Yesterday was my 2nd day back & I felt worse than I did the first day and panicked for around 2hrs into the shift which is unusual as I normally feel better once I'm there. I can't keep on like this, I feel completely ruined . Then my mind starts to think about next year, I'm suppose to be getting married in October and I can't see how I'm going to cope with the wedding, my nerves can't cope and I'm do afraid I won't be able to do it, it's costing my parents a lot of money and I'm worried il let them down if I really can't do it, and my poor partner in don't think he knows what's hit him, we have only been together 2yrs this December and he has only ever seen me like this once but on a smaller scale, I got like this when we met as again it's a huge change for me, I was ill for a week when we first started dating but slowly I got better and carried on as normal but this is different, it' feels so much worse and I feel embarrassed and like a looser for being this way, we were suppose to be saving to move in together but now I gave up my job the money just won't be there and I feel Iv let him down and myself down so badly, I'm just now forcing myself to go to work (in my old job) every day even though I feel awful and stressed just to afford my car petrol, insurance and tax and to pay my credit card and little bit of rent I pay my parents, there's none left for saving, I'm lucky I don't have children or a mortgage as I really would be in trouble. Sorry for the long post, I just need someone to talk to xxx