maramessi
22-09-15, 17:12
Hi there and thanks for at least considering to read my post.
I opted to start posting in here as I couldn't find a forum specifically for what I think the sub-topic of my anxiety is about.
Without going into a long essay into my past 14 months or so, I will give you the basics.
Until last May, I had no idea what anxiety was. I certainly do not remember suffering from it, outwith general work and monetary related stress etc.
However, for quite sometime now I have always had overwhelming urges to nip sexual/romantic relationships (with women) very early, upteen women have been on the receiving end of this over the years however, last year I decided to fight it (at the time I called them my inner demons) and really give it a shot with one girl in particular, I had absolutely no idea what I was putting myself in for.
I then started to get what I can only describe as panic attacks which led to mild depression, doubts, crying uncontrollably, restlessness, waking up in the morning anxious and fully alert dreading the day I was about to face etc etc. Then I seeked therapy via my private health insurance with my work, books and a brief attempt at mindfulness.
At the time my girlfriend knew what I was going through. She vowed to be fully supportive of my problems and help me if she could and until this day, via 1 break up on my part she still is.
However, it is the daily fighting with my mind I need to put up with and tolerate. All the questions, do I really like her, am I just plodding along, what exactly is love. is this for me, picking out small flaws as an excuse to be distant, all of this really can become overwhelming.
Now I am actually asking myself, is it worth it? Do I want it? I can't answer the question :mad::mad:
I could go on forever as I am sure you can all imagine but I will stop there for just now. Just not sure what to write on here. Obviously I am on here to talk to like minded folk who hopefully I can relate to.
Saludos
David
I opted to start posting in here as I couldn't find a forum specifically for what I think the sub-topic of my anxiety is about.
Without going into a long essay into my past 14 months or so, I will give you the basics.
Until last May, I had no idea what anxiety was. I certainly do not remember suffering from it, outwith general work and monetary related stress etc.
However, for quite sometime now I have always had overwhelming urges to nip sexual/romantic relationships (with women) very early, upteen women have been on the receiving end of this over the years however, last year I decided to fight it (at the time I called them my inner demons) and really give it a shot with one girl in particular, I had absolutely no idea what I was putting myself in for.
I then started to get what I can only describe as panic attacks which led to mild depression, doubts, crying uncontrollably, restlessness, waking up in the morning anxious and fully alert dreading the day I was about to face etc etc. Then I seeked therapy via my private health insurance with my work, books and a brief attempt at mindfulness.
At the time my girlfriend knew what I was going through. She vowed to be fully supportive of my problems and help me if she could and until this day, via 1 break up on my part she still is.
However, it is the daily fighting with my mind I need to put up with and tolerate. All the questions, do I really like her, am I just plodding along, what exactly is love. is this for me, picking out small flaws as an excuse to be distant, all of this really can become overwhelming.
Now I am actually asking myself, is it worth it? Do I want it? I can't answer the question :mad::mad:
I could go on forever as I am sure you can all imagine but I will stop there for just now. Just not sure what to write on here. Obviously I am on here to talk to like minded folk who hopefully I can relate to.
Saludos
David