Worrying myself sick

[Katiej36]

This is my first post here, to put my story short I was diagnosed with a molar pregnancy (-1 in a 1000 chance of happening) a month back, but knew something was wrong from the start but just tried to ignore how I was probably over worrying! Yet I was right! So my health anxiety has been full blown since that and the fact that it can turn cancerous and I may need chemo is constantly on my mind. If I stop taking my Kalms tablets I go into panic mode and am certain I am dying. When I first read up worst case scenarios I found it can spread to your brain, lungs, liver and more, even thought it is 99% curable if found early.

My symptoms ever since depend on which part I am thinking about most or subconsciously; I've had headaches, a cough, am sure I can feel my liver or kidney in my right side and that something is enlarged.. But I can only feel it when standing and pressing in, and the doctor prodded me whilst laid down and said she can only feel muscle, now I have a bruise on my leg that may have been from when me and my boyfriend were messing about.. But I don't remember and fear it's either due to my liver not working properly or dvt
I've had an aching right arm, maybe since I had lots of blood tests taken from that arm within a short space of time? I'm constantly searching for reassurance and am fearing the worst, because last time I just so happened to be right! And there's still so much that could go wrong for me, but it's driving me to insanity😔 I am scared of my own body, the fear of cancer thriving in my bloodstream.. I really am going through a tough time and feel I cannot let my guard down.

[BiG_Oak]

Hi and welcome to the site (if I'm even qualified to say that as I only signed up yesterday :roflmao:)

First things first if you were worrying about something being wrong from the start, if something did go wrong (as it did and I'm really sorry to hear that) of course you're going to believe that you were right that 1 time so you could be right again, but I'm guessing like me (and a lot of us on here) you've been anxious about many other health issues before that... And so far you've been wrong? So that makes one right decision and 100 or more wrong ones... So think about all those times you spent worrying about something that didn't exist or wasn't there...

Like you said... 99% curable, obviously if you read up the worst case scenarios you'll find some horrendous cases, but if you read up worst case scenarios of probably any disease on the planet there will be cases that someone had an extremely bad outcome.

Also your symptoms depend on what you're thinking about, you said it, they wouldn't move from one bodypart to another or disappear if they were genuine symptoms, I'm no doctor but if you are poking and feeling about for your liver and kidneys and they are big enough to feel enlarged or like they are swollen I would've thought you'd have some major symptoms and issues (which you haven't :)), the doctor has poked and prodded about with you whilst led down (when your abdomen is at it's most retracted so they would probably be able to feel any abnormalities at all) and has said there's absolutely nothing wrong.

Also again, not a doctor but to reassure you about what you're worrying about, from what I know and some logical thinking (I'm good when it comes to others but terrible when it comes to myself or if my panic is going overboard) if your liver wasn't functioning properly you'd know about it a lot more that a random bruise on your leg.

And your arm aches and pains is probably due to stress, muscle tension, blood tests, also focusing on it will make it worse as well so I highly doubt that's anything at all to worry about.

If you focus on the negative it's a horrible cycle, there's so much that could go wrong for any of us, but there's also so much that could go right, you've got to try and think positively about things :hugs:.

[sial72]

This is my first post here, to put my story short I was diagnosed with a molar pregnancy (-1 in a 1000 chance of happening) a month back, but knew something was wrong from the start but just tried to ignore how I was probably over worrying! Yet I was right! So my health anxiety has been full blown since that and the fact that it can turn cancerous and I may need chemo is constantly on my mind. If I stop taking my Kalms tablets I go into panic mode and am certain I am dying. When I first read up worst case scenarios I found it can spread to your brain, lungs, liver and more, even thought it is 99% curable if found early.

My symptoms ever since depend on which part I am thinking about most or subconsciously; I've had headaches, a cough, am sure I can feel my liver or kidney in my right side and that something is enlarged.. But I can only feel it when standing and pressing in, and the doctor prodded me whilst laid down and said she can only feel muscle, now I have a bruise on my leg that may have been from when me and my boyfriend were messing about.. But I don't remember and fear it's either due to my liver not working properly or dvt
I've had an aching right arm, maybe since I had lots of blood tests taken from that arm within a short space of time? I'm constantly searching for reassurance and am fearing the worst, because last time I just so happened to be right! And there's still so much that could go wrong for me, but it's driving me to insanity😔 I am scared of my own body, the fear of cancer thriving in my bloodstream.. I really am going through a tough time and feel I cannot let my guard down.
Hi
I totally understand where you a coming from, I too have a real health issue (I won't post details to not get anyone's health anxiety going).
But the fact is that it is something very unusual and doctors don't know the outcome, so I live in constant fear.
I have to keep reminding myself that there is nothing I can do about it and so I just have to hope for the best because what I do know is that anxiety makes it worse. Everyone keeps saying that positive thinking will increase my chances of getting better, I have been working on this and was doing ok, but the last couple of days I had new symptoms and I have spiraled into panic again.
People keep recommending Mindfulness but I can'r seem to be able to do it so I do those "painting for anxiety" kind of books and that helps.
I also made myself worse by reading worse case scenarios and although I haven't read anything for ages what I did read has stuck in my mind.
Just keep reminding yourself that it is 99% curable. And that everything in life has its risks, even leaving the house and crossing the road. I'm praying for you and I'm sure you will be fine x

[Katiej36]

Big Oak and Sials- thank you for your replies, I keep reading them when I start to feel more anxious, they are so logical and give me the reassurance I needed..I still get worried, but my symptoms do change so frequently I understand it must be due to my health anxiety. I am trying so hard to stay positive and am starting counselling this Tuesday..I can't wait to get all these things off of my chest! We all need to try to stay positive for our physical and mental health xx