Need some reassurance - stuck in a stressful situation!

[damianjmcgrath]

Hey guys,

I need some reassurance! Bad I know, just feeds the anxiety monster but that's long term - I'm just trying to get through this short term situation.

I've had heart anxiety for a few years now. This weekend, I've had to look after my 2 year old on my own as my partner and almost all the family are away. No help at all. Before they left, I had bad anxiety all week thinking that if I collapsed, there'd be no help, no one would notice and I don't know what would happen to my little one.

When they left, it was actually surprisingly ok. The Friday and Saturday went by quickly and I didn't feel bad hardly at all.

However today has been really difficult. The symptoms of dizziness (that's the worst - I'm scared of fainting), chest pains that vary between stabbing and a constant dull ache on the top left, almost the shoulder area, and a pinching pain going down the inside of my left arm. I'm also pretty sweaty and flushing hot.

There is also one strange thing I noticed this morning. I've been anxious about atrial fibrillation all week, so I've been checking my pulse with a blood pressure machine every day when I feel bad, to see if I can spot an irregular pulse. My pulse is always between 75-85 when at rest. Pretty high but it's been like that for months.

Today, and last night, my pulse came back at 60, 62, 65, 58 and 63 when at rest. For some stupid reason, that freaked me out. I started thinking the heart must be in trouble to have such a change. That started the anxious feelings today.

I've got until midnight until people come back. There's no one around at all, and couldn't be here quickly if I phoned them. I'm convincing myself there's a problem because of the sudden slow pulse, dizziness, sweating and chest pain, but I'm trying to tell myself it's anxiety. I feel like I'm battling to stop myself really freaking out.

Has anyone got any tips to help me feel more comfortable tonight?

Thanks

[DYLCC15]

Hello!

I totally understand what you're going through. I have had similar fears regarding my heart and it can be pretty scary. Also the arm and shoulder pain, and the dizziness. You probably know the routine..... Get a bunch of tests done, the doctor says it's anxiety, but you still don't believe him. Trust me, I do it all the time. If you want to talk, you can always private message me. I have been having some really bad HA symptoms as well and can totally relate. At one point, I thought that I was going to drop dead of a heart attack.

Dylan

YOU will be okay (:

[damianjmcgrath]

Yeah I've had plenty of tests, all fine. Obviously my head says that the tests don't pick it up if I have no symptoms at the time of the test, which I didn't. So I must still have a problem.

Because I'm anxious thought, every time I move or bend down or twists, my chest aches. I stood up and got the head rush thing. My chest hurt and I got a wave of heat in my face and body which worried me. Tonight is one of those nights that I'm totally convinced there's a problem and there's no way I'm lasting until midnight. Hopefully tonight well be a big turning point for me. I'll either collapse or reach a point where I have to phone for help or tomorrow, I'll have no symptoms and I'll come back on here to post that I'm fine now and it was anxiety. If it's the latter, that will be strong evidence for me that it's anxiety because I feel terrible right now. I'll hopefully be able to start tackling the anxiety then. And if it's the former, well, at least I'll start receiving the right medical help!

---------- Post added at 17:02 ---------- Previous post was at 16:57 ----------

Also, can I explain my dizziness in the hope other people are experiencing it as anxiety:

I don't really feel like I'm about to faint, it's not that bad. The room isn't really spinning. It's more like a heavy head, a light headed feeling, like I'm ridiculously tired or like the air is a bit thin. It feels like if I close my eyes, I'll drift away. It feels like I'm fighting it, like I'm consciously having to shake myself back to reality, and almost consciously focus on things. Does that make any sense to anyone?

[DYLCC15]

I experience anxiety 24/7.... I also have blurry vision all the time. I have chalked it up to stress as I've had 3 eye tests in the past month and they said all was healthy except my eyes did get a little worse. I really would trust the doctors. That's easier said then done of course. I can understand because I was at what seemed like the point of no return when in comes to my HA. YOU WILL BE OKAY!

I would be happy to talk to you in a private message about your issues if you want

Have a wonderful day and know that everyone on here is here to help you

[damianjmcgrath]

Thank you.

I get the majority of my pain directly underneath my left nipple area - I don't know what's under there lol. I don't think my heart is that far left, and it feels like my ribs. That area aches pretty much 24/7.

Appreciate your support. I just need to find a way to reduce anxiety whilst looking after a small child.

I have to say, I think it's the feeling of being trapped in a situation or not in control. I always feel worse when I can't just leave somewhere.

[DYLCC15]

You are so welcome! I have my fair share of problems. Heck, I could list them for hours regarding HA.

Also another reassurance, your heart is said to be on your left, but it's actually nestled near the middle of your chest. So, I do believe it is just a little ache and pain from some muscle tension that is stress related.

Such a common anxiety symptom, it really is. I have suffered with that in the past too!

Have you ever had any other anxiety related symptoms?

Dylan *(:

[damianjmcgrath]

It's nice knowing that another human exists - feel a bit alone tonight.

My main symptoms are the dizziness which is relatively new, just a few weeks. I find it the hardest to deal with. I also get various chest pains. The most common is a pinching or stabbing pain underneath the left nipple area or pretty much in the left armpit, or sort of my left side. I have to say, it feels like a trapped nerve pain but the location of it obviously concerns me. I sometimes get a dull indigestion type ache in the centre. Sometimes it'll feel like a tickly pain, like an insect is on my chest. And, oddly, the worst pain comes from my left arm - the inside of my arm gets the pinching pain and sometimes my left hand goes a bit numb or hurts.

Those are the most common, daily, problems.

I also get some other stuff, such as having no interest in watching tv sometimes, getting tired really quickly, a fast heart beat over 100 when I get worked up and stressed out, which happens quicker now than it used to. I occasionally get a sought choking sensation although that's rare. My breathing is generally ok although sometimes I feel like I'm short of it or it's a little trickier to breathe. I've tried deep breathing or belly breathing but it actually makes my other symptoms worse. Probably because my focus is on my body.

These symptoms, especially the chest ones, have been here now for nearly 3 years but have increased in intensity and frequency over the last 6-9 months.

My doctor has diagnosed health anxiety after doing multiple ECGs, a stress ECG, an echo, multiple full blood tests and a urine test to rule out an adrenal tumour. I obviously still believe there's an underlying heart problem.

I've been for 6 group sessions of CBT and 12 individual sessions. I even went for 12 sessions of hypnotherapy and 6 group sessions of mindfulness meditation. Nothing made much of an impact.

The doctor prescribed propanonol but I haven't taken it. I'm concerned about the side effects.

My anxiety symptoms seem to occur randomly but I've noticed a few patterns. It seemed to start soon after the birth of my first baby but I reckon I've been an anxious person all my life, especially about my health. The baby has raised my stress levels though, and I wonder if that caused the first heart palpitations and I started getting anxious about them after that.

There are some situations that often make me feel bad. I've noticed big meetings at work cause heightened symptoms. I'm not sure why but Matthew it's an embarrassment thing. I feel worse when I'm home alone in case no one can help me. This is especially worse when I'm here with my daughter. Sometimes I feel bad driving especially if I can't stop, such as when the motorway hard shoulder is blocked. Perhaps the common theme is that I'm trapped in those situations. I can't escape. Or it might be when I think help would struggle to get to me.

I'm making that pattern up, it might not be that. I don't really know what the cause is. Sometimes, I'll be with my wife at home, very relaxed, nothing going on but then I'll get loads of symptoms for no reason. It's very annoying trying to figure it out.

When I'm in the middle of symptoms, I do worry a lot, especially about heart problems. I guess I panic a bit. However I never get panic attacks or hyperventilate. I actually don't often feel anxious. I just feel the symptoms. It's very annoying, and affects me daily. The symptoms feel so real and so dangerous that every day I doubt it's anxiety.

I do notice myself feeling bad after hearing about heart attacks on the news as well. For example, I was watching a comedy show last night and one of the guests told a story about his heart attack. I had to look him up on Wikipedia to see the situation in case I had it! Then, when I found out his problem was symptomless and out of the blue and happened in my home city, I felt bad all evening!

I don't know if people's stories are similar or not. I like reading others experiences especially if they've found something that works for them.

[DYLCC15]

I can completely relate to what you're going through. I am so convinced that there is something wrong with me. My anxiety is stemming from not really having a supportive family or someone to talk to. I have had exacerbated symptoms since february of this year and it's making me go insane! Like I am truly convinced I am going blind or something. It's so hard to believe anxiety is causing this, but I know it is. As stated, I've had countless procedures and tests done and they've all come back clean. My eyes for example are really causing me some stress. I just got new glasses. They were very clear when I got them, and then I started hyperanalyzing my vision because of the two previous botched examinations. Now I am convinced my vision is worse now than it was a week ago. Even though the docs said my eyes are completely healthy.

I really am struggling and I notice that you are too!

Dylan

[damianjmcgrath]

I'm getting worse tonight. The little one is in bed now so will hopefully stay there until the rest of my family come home. However, I'm really struggling with the symptoms. I'm getting more dizzy, even lying down is difficult. I feel pretty cold too and keep getting pinching and stabbing pains. I don't know if I should phone for a paramedic at some point - I don't know how long to let this dizziness get worse. I'm not hungry but haven't eaten since 1. Not sure if I should have something.

[DYLCC15]

Not eating can really make it worse. Eat something light. Stay away from sugary substances, and bad foot. A bad diet can fuel your symptoms. I would not phone a paramedic...... who wants to pay those bills? That's right, no one. At emergency rooms, they tend to scoff at patients who are taken by paramedic to the hospital. they will probably give you something to lower your heart rate and send you home in a panicked mess. I know from experience. They claimed I had a heart condition once, when in all reality, my anxiety was the cause of all my elevated heart rate and dizziness. They basically just made me sit there and calm down, and then booted me out of the place. The only way you'll be allowed to stay is if it's an actual medical condition or you're suicidal.


Dylan

[damianjmcgrath]

I'm in England, not sure where you are, but it's obviously free where I am. I'd feel embarrassed to phone though but this dizziness is really affecting me. I'll try and eat something. Oddly, my heart rate is actually really low, it's about 55. It's normally around 75. I think that's what's freaking me out. It's never been that low, and with the dizziness, it's concerning me.

[DYLCC15]

Suffering from anxiety can cause a lower heart as well, which does seem odd. But if you think about it, you are putting your body through a constant state of adrenaline and panic, now your body is trying to recover and it seems as if you are tired.

Omg, I can not believe that's free. Oh how I envy the Brits. I am from New England in America, and here and basically everywhere else in american, it is about 2,000 dollars! Maybe close to 3,000 in pounds

[damianjmcgrath]

I've just never seen myself with low pulse before. I'm always concerned it's too high! I guess this is what I deserve for checking my pulse in the first place!

Yeah everything is free here. My CBT and hypno courses were free. Prescriptions, such as my propanonol are about £8 I think. Free depending on your financial position or if you're a student or work for the health service. Free for pregnant women too. They get the whole lot!

I'm going to eat something now and see what happens. This intensity of dizziness is brand new for me tonight.

[DYLCC15]

Alright, let me know how it goes. Lol nothing is free in the USA. Everything is so expensive, it's ridiculous!

[damianjmcgrath]

Insurance covers it though doesn't it?

[DYLCC15]

Not if it's in rural areas. I live in a very rural area and it's hard for a paramedic/ambulance to get to my location so they charge more. They'll cover some of it, but not all.

[damianjmcgrath]

Man, that's pretty tough. I went on holiday a few months ago to a really rural log cabin and the remoteness freaked me out. I've got a real problem with help not getting to me. It's really strange. I live ten mins from a hospital, I've never been ill with a proper illness in my entire life. I've never been in hospital. I don't know where this fear came from.

I have a very strong visualization of what might happen to me. One is a heart attack and going obey hospital. I can imagine the beds and the noises and getting some weird hospital bug etc. I've no idea where that image come from.

Obviously my symptoms right now make me feel terrible and prompt those catastrophic thoughts. But on paper I'm the healthiest person you'll ever know. Every test result is perfect, I'm 30 with no history myself or any family history, I run 4-5 three times a week, my weight is good, etc. That's what makes it so frustrating because I genuinely think I'm about to die, or my heart will explode etc.

I'm very logical in my job in IT, and generally I'm quite a black and white person. Everything has a reason and an answer. Everything is caused by something. I'm known in my family as being so black and white and being Mr logical. That's why I can't figure this anxiety out. I don't know where the illogical thoughts come from. I don't know why my brain goes chest pain = heart attack rather than just indigestion or muscle pain etc. I think that's why it's so hard for me to accept it is anxiety.

Also, do you get this - I remain convinced that one day, they will either find something or I'll collapse etc and I'll be thinking "I told you so!". I feel like I know my body better than anyone and no one's listening!

[DYLCC15]

I guess what I am getting from you is that you're a very spatial thinker like me. Basically anything that isn't a quick fix or can be resolved completely is unusual. Anxiety is not curable, but it IS considered manageable. You just have to find your niche or something that can relax. Have you ever considered taking up some random craft to occupy your time? I find drawing and sketching to be of benefit (even though I am horrible) Haha

Dyl

[damianjmcgrath]

Absolutely. I'm always seeking out an answer. I don't know where it came from and I don't know how to get rid of it. Because it seems to have turned up out of nowhere, I just assumed the symptoms were due to a real problem. I mean, they must be!

I have got a few habits but the symptoms overrule them sometimes. And having a 2 year old kind of takes all my time away!

[DYLCC15]

I totally get it. Also, I was told by my therapist that we are only to deal with a certain amount of stress and HA that is manageable. Once we cross the threshold of worrying about things to no end, then we will not be able to control what happens to us. Your mind can play so many tricks on you, it's unreal!

Dyl

[damianjmcgrath]

It is a frustrating brain! Even when I convince myself my heart is fine, I worry about the actual anxiety getting worse. Can't win!

I've eaten something now, went for fish because of some weird healthy food logic, and I'm feeling slightly better. Less cold and shaky, a bit more with it. Still got chest sensations like the pinching, stabbing and weird wave pressure feelings but hopefully I'll keep improving over the next hour or so.

[DYLCC15]

Hopefully you do! I am really concerned with my eyes and I think fixating and getting constant reassurance is making it worse, but I can't help but reach out to people who feel the physical affects of anxiety as I do.
Dyl