Matt82
30-09-15, 06:47
Hello everyone! This is my first post on the forum, so I'm sorry if there are many others like it.
I'll start with a short history. I suffer from severe OCD and panic disorder. It started around the age of 18, and went unchecked until I was about 30. I currently am seeing a psychiatrist and a counselor and am on medication.
Now the point. About a month ago I had unprotected sex with a girl I know(more just a "Quickie" than anything else). It was irresponsible and I'm aware of that, but it has quickly turned into an obsession about stds and HIV.
It was a one time thing, but my mind has taken over now. I have in the past suffered what I call "fits" where I live in a state of constant fear and anxiety over various different ailments. I'm currently in the middle of a "fit" now.
I try to stay offline, but it's hard sometimes. I haven't had any kind of symptoms of anything, but I'm still having irrational thoughts that haunt me daily.
The girl is a registered nurse, and has said that she had recently been tested and was all clear. She was nice enough to talk with me about it. However this didn't change anything. I'm now constantly checking for glands, taking my temperature and basically torturing myself.
I know that being tested is the only way to be sure, but at the moment my doctor says that she highly doubts I've been exposed and that a test could do more damage than good at this point. I'm already dissociative and having a hard time functioning on daily routines, and to be honest, I'm in a persistent state of fear.
I've been through these "fits" before and I'm sure it will pass in time, but I'm struggling very much right now. I don't understand how my doctor can feel I'm at low risk, but I've seen studies that show that I could truly be at a low risk. Still, it does nothing to slow the fear. I'm hoping someone can relate to my situation and give some kind of reassurance.
Thank you for anyone's advice or help!
I'll start with a short history. I suffer from severe OCD and panic disorder. It started around the age of 18, and went unchecked until I was about 30. I currently am seeing a psychiatrist and a counselor and am on medication.
Now the point. About a month ago I had unprotected sex with a girl I know(more just a "Quickie" than anything else). It was irresponsible and I'm aware of that, but it has quickly turned into an obsession about stds and HIV.
It was a one time thing, but my mind has taken over now. I have in the past suffered what I call "fits" where I live in a state of constant fear and anxiety over various different ailments. I'm currently in the middle of a "fit" now.
I try to stay offline, but it's hard sometimes. I haven't had any kind of symptoms of anything, but I'm still having irrational thoughts that haunt me daily.
The girl is a registered nurse, and has said that she had recently been tested and was all clear. She was nice enough to talk with me about it. However this didn't change anything. I'm now constantly checking for glands, taking my temperature and basically torturing myself.
I know that being tested is the only way to be sure, but at the moment my doctor says that she highly doubts I've been exposed and that a test could do more damage than good at this point. I'm already dissociative and having a hard time functioning on daily routines, and to be honest, I'm in a persistent state of fear.
I've been through these "fits" before and I'm sure it will pass in time, but I'm struggling very much right now. I don't understand how my doctor can feel I'm at low risk, but I've seen studies that show that I could truly be at a low risk. Still, it does nothing to slow the fear. I'm hoping someone can relate to my situation and give some kind of reassurance.
Thank you for anyone's advice or help!