View Full Version : Feeding the anxiety? Thoughts please
Hi all, I've suffered from Ha for many years, it seemed to be under control with only the occasional catastrophic thought, however I've had a rough couple of months and it has came back.
I started to notice a deterioration when I got an insect bite that became infected (my thoughts Mrsa, leg amputation), actual treatment was a course of antibiotics, however for a week long period, I visited a medical professional everyday.
I then had oral cancer (small bump on roof of mouth), turned out to be the natural way my mouth is, checked over by two dentists and sobbed with relief.
Next I needed an operation to have an abscess removed, believed I wouldn't wake up from anaesthetic and actually discharged myself sobbing, went back next day because of pain and went through with op and recovering well.
Also, that age old fear of heart problems is reoccurring, pains in heart and chest. Also, lump in back of throat which rationally is most likely due to ear problem, irrationally it's throat cancer.
I've contacted our self referral and awaiting further cbt and referral to psychology. Really want to beat it this time, however I wanted to ask my doctor to run some heart and blood tests to put it to rest in my head that everything that has gone before, is anxiety related.
What do you think, is this a good idea or am I feeding the anxiety monster.
Haven't had blood tests, other than those done in hospital prior to op, last and only ecg was done by a paramedic about 1 year ago. All was fine.
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Xx
If you had tests just before your op then all is ok and don't need further testing xx
Thanks hun, as the saying goes, when I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad the anxiety gets out of control. Guess I'm going to have to focus cbt on relapse for when I'm poorly.
Xxx
Same here, when I'm good...
I went to the hospital today because I wanted bloods done to give me peace of mind. They last did them 6 months ago when I was in hospital for 2 weeks so they said I didn't need any more doing.
In fact I replied to you from the hospital ;)
---------- Post added at 11:37 ---------- Previous post was at 11:36 ----------
We need to learn to trust ourselves xx
Bless you, my husband said to me last week, why can't you just be poorly, hit the nail on the head, I can't just be poorly like everyone else, I have to be terminal. Wishing you well hun. Xxx
Bless you, my husband said to me last week, why can't you just be poorly, hit the nail on the head, I can't just be poorly like everyone else, I have to be terminal. Wishing you well hun. Xxx
:roflmao: I know, what are we like? Wishing you well too xx
Hi Tracey, I am very much like you and currently undergoing CBT for the first time. I think if you had bloods taken just prior to your surgery you will be feeding the anxiety monsters, same with the ECG. I too have constant heart worries but I know rationally that I had an ECG six months ago and it was fine but irrationally I convince myself I am in a fib. I now keep a note on my phone of things my GP said and when I start to worry about my heart and want to start taking my pulse I read it a few times and then do something else to distract myself.
Thanks for reply, I hate feeling my heart race, so much so that I do no exercise other than walking. I get confused between fear and excitement so things I should get excited about, I'm scared.
Got to keep moving forward though. Xx
I am the same, I will actually avoid things out of fear of my heart rate going up. I wanted to move some furniture around the house last weekend and found myself thinking 'you can't do that it might make your heart do something strange' It was interesting what your hubby said about why can't you just get poorly, I look at my husband and he never worries about his health, he looks after himself but he enjoys life. I feel my HA takes so much of the enjoyment out of life and is with me all the time. Its very tiring. Do you sleep well??
I feel like I'm missing out, I'm so frightened of dying, that I don't really live.
I sleep OK, I'm ashamed to say I use wine to aid sleep, 2-3 small glasses a night. Occasionally, I get palpitations before I fall asleep and sometimes I get night sweats (not sheet drenching).
Xxx
I feel like I'm missing out, I'm so frightened of dying, that I don't really live.
I sleep OK, I'm ashamed to say I use wine to aid sleep, 2-3 small glasses a night. Occasionally, I get palpitations before I fall asleep and sometimes I get night sweats (not sheet drenching).
Xxx
Tracey don't be ashamed to say you use wine as an aid to sleep, we all try to find our own ways to cope, BUT it will certainly not help long term, alcohol can often worsen anxiety, have you ever tried Valerian Root to aid sleep? It is very helpful xx
I'll look into it hun, I'm gutted cause I was down to one small glass an evening, but it's crept up again, I'm missing my bath, until this open wound heals I can't have a bath so I've got an extra hour an evening. My bath was another coping strategy, but I'm proving I can do without (2 weeks now). Xxx
I don't think a couple of glasses of wine to help you relax is anything to be ashamed of at all. I tend to get to sleep okay but when my HA is really bad I will wake in the early hours of the morning and not be able to get back to sleep. I feel the same as you, that I am not really living my life. I spend all my time worrying that I have some fatal disease that I don't enjoy my life which is such a shame. I have been seeing a psychologist and she recommended I have equine therapy and I went for my first session this afternoon. How is your wound healing after your surgery??
It's healing brilliantly, in my head, I'm so unhealthy, yet my body seems to think otherwise. Two weeks post op and it doesn't need packing anymore.
I used to be so carefree until I had my son, nothing scared me or bothered me, now I see danger in everything fun. I rarely go out of my comfort zone, I fear the unknown.
But surely if I once was anxiety free, I can get back there? Xxx
Yes you can be the same again (according to my psychologist) :) and I really do believe that, I have over the years trained my nervous system to go straight to a fight or flight response and have I irrational thoughts about my health, slowly I will reverse this...... Isn't it funny, you had a surgery you were most likely petrified of, survived and are healing well physically. I too had emergency surgery for my gall bladder earlier this year, was terrified of not waking up from the anaesthetic, told the theatre nurse who was really really reassuring and said in her 15 years that had simply never happened (Did that make me feel any safer? Noooo). I too survived and healed really well physically, emotionally was another storey. The hospital I was in was horrible, they would not let my family into me prior to surgery, hours and hours I had to sit on my own knowing my family were somewhere on the grounds but there were not allowed on the ward as it was not visiting hours. I got wheeled into surgery alone and I think that has really affected me. We can do this!!!:yahoo:
We can hun, that was my fear too, not waking up, the hospital managed my anxiety really well and allowed visitors at all times other than meals and doctors rounds. This helped me greatly, I nearly stayed an extra night, that's how lovely and accommodating they were.
Xxx
Are you getting any support? Anxiety is a very hidden issue, I know that I hide it well and if I do open up to others they are shocked that I feel that way so I must do a good job.
I've been down the isolation Road, it's a lonely place to be, I feared getting close to anyone as I truly believed I wasn't going to be here much longer and I didn't want to hurt them.
Cbt helped me greatly with that and I interact much more positively now. I still have off days, but everyday used to be an off day so there was definite improvement.
People will always make judgements, we can't change that, we can change how we react to their judgements though, sometimes we just need a lot of help to make those changes.
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