Moving abroad with OCD was a total disaster

[jthought]

Hi,

For many years I have wanted to move abroad to a particular country. I have visited before and fallen in love with the culture, people, etc. I got offered a job and everything was fantastic, it would allow me to gain residency and fulfil my dream. Things quickly fell apart though - I had a layover and was immediately having feelings of doubt. Overpowering emotions of being alone, abandoning my family and friends, thoughts of never seeing them again and how far from home i was, etc. This only got worse once I arrived. I was obsessing over how far from home i was and how i was a traitor to my family and friends. I came home within a month with a surprisingly understanding employer who has offered to keep the door open if I am ever again interested. I've spoken about this experience to my therapist who believes it is less to do with my mental state and rather a true reflection of me not really wanting to be there. I disagree however. Now the initial few months of 'being home relief' have passed, I feel really down about it and just want to be there again, but it feels impossible.

Thoughts?

[sial72]

Difficult to know really.
Sometimes we idealise something andcwe think that when we do such and such a thing everything will be better and then when we find that we are still the same person wherever we are we can feel a bit down.
Could you not do an in-between, maybe go there for a short period, say 3 or 6 months, see how you really like it and take it from there...it doesn't have to be an all or nothing situation as this causes a lot of anxiety xxx

[jthought]

I think it was more to do with quite quickly letting my mind getting out of control. By the time I was in Dubai (half way point) I was already at breaking point. It's so sad because it's something I want so much but it feels so impossible to achieve.

[ricardo]

Moving abroad is a huge decision and many factors have to be taken into account.
My situation was totally different as we moved as a family being careful so that the kids were placed in scholl leading up to GCSE'S so it had to b in 2001 or not at all but it was my wife who thought living in The Costa del Sol would make me feel better with the weather, no pollution, less traffic and generally the manyana way of life.

It takes time to get use to the local customs and we eventually stayed for 12 years and only came home because of the economy,my daughter not being diagnosed properly and to be honest my quality of life was far better,and for a short period drug free.

So no real comparison but many many people we knew admired us for moving abroad but would have also liked to,but work and family were huge obstacles for them.

We have been back 2.5 years and I can't adjust back, most probably never will, so I would reconsider your decision if the opportunity arises again.