Introducing my myself.

[Carrielee]

Hi.

Well I feel a bit like I should be at an AA meeting, I want to say Hi, I'm carrielee and I have anxiety disorder!
I think I only realised that this morning. I finally accepted that this is in me, it's with me a lot and I hate it.
So long story short, I had my first depression 22 years ago, was on antidepressants for 6 months, that's all my GP gave me. I recovered from the depression with. A struggle and despite a stressful life I never looked back. Then 6 years ago my Mum had a nervous breakdown and I've been on and off of antidepressants since. My Mum passed away two years ago, I struggled to care for my Dad he went into care, my 10 year relationship ended and a depression hit me December last year. I recently reduced my meds, I am taking fluoxetine, I see a counsellor and I was doing really well. My Dad died and still I was doing well, but all of a sudden I went down again. I have minor eye conditions that may or may not require treatment one day and despite the constant assurance that I will not go blind I get convinced that I will. So that me.

I found this site this morning and I am so grateful.

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya Carrielee and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[sial72]

Hi CarrieLee and welcome
Well, you certainly seem to have been through your fair share of stressful events so it's probably no wonder you have got anxiety, but I'm sure with the help from all the great advice here you will be feeling better soon xx

[Carrielee]

Thank you so much sail72.
I've never been on a forum before so I hope I am responding the correct way.
I hope that my anxiety is a learned behaviour. I don't understand it because when I'm not anxious I really get cracking with life, but when I am anxious I'm almost paralysed by fear and I wonder where I have gone.
I'm feeling okay right now so I am curious about what happens to me, but when that wave hits me I'm crushed, no curiosity, just want it to stop.

[Baggs]

Welcome to NMP. I hope you find as much help here as I have. I wish you all the best.

[Kimmieblue]

Hi there,
I'm very similar to you, have suffered depression and anxiety for years on and off.
My mum passed away earlier in the year and I kept going but all of a sudden I've gone down again, it's awful how it just arrives isn't it?
Keep posting here, everyone's really friendly and full of great advice.
X

[Hayley93]

Hey. My names Hayley I'm 22 years old.
I'm so glad to see I'm not alone. For the last 5 years I've been literally petrified of dying. If I have even a slight illness i.e I've just recently had a uti and I was convinced that I had bladder cancer. Its really taking over my life, I hate it. I lost my mum Dec 2010 granddad march 2011 and nan may 2011 and if that wasn't enough I lost my dad April 2013, each time I loose someone the thoughts get stronger :( I have a four year old son he is my world and my anxiety is now leading to his direction. I have too count 8 breaths of his whilst his asleep and check his stair gate 4 times else I lie in bed and won't sleep at all thinking something bad is going to happen to him. Does anybody else have anxiety this bad? ( if it even is anxiety?) Thank you :)