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Worrywart528
03-10-15, 21:53
I just found this board and am hoping it can help me out.

I have always suffered from health anxiety as far back as I can remember.

Over the last year I have become obsessed about skin cancer and melanoma. I am a healthy 35 year old and have no other conditions.

From the time I was born until about 21 years of age I had normal sun exposure. I played outdoor sports and by the time the summer was over would have a very dark tan. I had about 3 bad sunburns in my life. When I was 22 years old after my fiance dumped me I started getting myself in good shape. It was at that time I started tanning. I would start in March and when the summer rolled around I would stop and get my sun outdoors. During the winter I would go sporadically just to keep some type of tan. I would say I used tanning beds from the time I was 22 until about 25 years old. Over the years I would occasionally use them prior to a vacation or in the dead of winter for a boost. Nothing consistent.

I have dark hair, dark green eyes, and normally get a slight sun burn after a long winter but it quickly turns into a tan. I have no family members with melanoma. My phobia started when I saw a dermatologist last year. I have about 25 moles on my front torso and about 15 on my back. Some of them were dysplastic ( Irregular) Moles. The dermatologist said I had no melanoma but did a biopsy and they came back barely dysplastic.

At that time I started searching the internet and it claims that people with these moles have a 7 times higher rate of melanoma. I also used tanning beds for several years. THis obsession has been consuming me. When I am not working I find myself getting depressed over the thought of getting melanoma and how horrible it will be when I get older.

daisyflower
03-10-15, 23:23
You have to try and put it in perspective. What about white people who live in hot countries and spend their lives in the sun and still don't get skin cancer? It's rare, it's not the norm to get it. Even if you did get it, which odds are you wont, as someone who is so aware of the symptoms of it like you obviously are, you would get something scabby/black/bleeding/sore etc checked out and it can be cured.

You don't have melanoma but you do have anxiety. That's what you need to focus on treating x

Booboo111
03-10-15, 23:53
Well, you're certainly not alone. This describes me pretty close... I am 29, pale blonde hair blue eyes and have a family history of basal cell. I also have had one blistering sunburn in my life and a few others, and I tanned or probably 50 times total in high school. I got good about sun screen and protection about 4 years ago.

The realty is, it can happen to anyone at anytime for any reason. Skin or other "C's" ( I hate even typing the friggin word, that's how bad my OCD - health anxiety is). We have got to work hard and find ways to get out of our heads and stop letting our fears confine us. I say this to you as I sit on my couch obsessing about a freckle on my lip that's been there for years. And I just had my yearly Dermatologist check-up and had to have a biopsy that he thought might be basal cell but it came back negative. Since then I've been in one of these health test/appointment/scare spirals - they are a major trigger for me. But I'm working hard on not obsessing about what could be because WOW dues it take time away from our HERE AND NOW!!! Personally, my faith in God has really helped me in this area...

Just be diligent about sun protection, monitor your own skin and get yearly check-ups and that's the best we can do at this point!! No amount of worrying can change anything, and that's the reality. Stay strong. Good vibes your way!

Worrywart528
04-10-15, 00:37
Thank you everyone, it feels amazing to know I'm not alone. It has gotten to the point where I wont shower with the lights on. I see a mole and before I know it my mind has me in a panic. The dermatologist didn't seem to concerned when she biopsied that mole last year. When I told her I tanned in my 20's and spent time in the sun during the summer she didn't even bat an eye. I am going back to the dermatologist in NOV and have entered a cycle of making appointments.

This HA is horrible and I want to enjoy my life. It is so bad that a few years ago I met the girl of my dreams. We had sex and the condom broke. I lost my mind and kept thinking what if I got an STD... I obsessed over it... Asked this poor girl over and over again.. Offended her... Got tested for a year after... She pretty much was devestated and we ended things. It gets really bad when I'm on vacation or on days off of work. My mind wanders and I cannot even enjoy relaxing time. I need to be doing something at all times or I'm in a horrible mood.