please help me :(

[Hayley93]

Hey. My names Hayley I'm 22 years old.
I'm so glad to see I'm not alone. For the last 5 years I've been literally petrified of dying. If I have even a slight illness i.e I've just recently had a uti and I was convinced that I had bladder cancer. Its really taking over my life, I hate it. I lost my mum Dec 2010 granddad march 2011 and nan may 2011 and if that wasn't enough I lost my dad April 2013, each time I loose someone the thoughts get stronger :( I have a four year old son he is my world and my anxiety is now leading to his direction. I have too count 8 breaths of his whilst his asleep and check his stair gate 4 times else I lie in bed and won't sleep at all thinking something bad is going to happen to him. Does anybody else have anxiety this bad? ( if it even is anxiety?) Thank you

[Pepperpot]

Hi Hayley - I am so sorry you're going through this, and I am sorry for your losses.

I am not an expert, but it sounds like OCD to me - I do this too and if I don't I feel like bad things will happen.
I have just started CBT and am hoping this will help. My anxiety is new, and so is the health worries, and it is now spreading to be terrified something is going to happen to my kids, mainly my son. Have you been to your doc? x

Btw, you are NOT alone x

[Hayley93]

Hey. Thank you for replying.
Thank you :) I have my suspicions that I have ocd which is probably the root of my problems. I have phoned for appointments countless amounts of times but can never get the courage to go and admit that i have a problem. ( very stubborn ha) I really don't want to break down.. I bottle everything up but now I just feel like I'm going to explode! Sorry to hear you have the same situation its very brave of you to be able to speak to your doc :)
X