Convinced i have motor neuron disease

[JaCkiie]

Literally cannot get the fear of having MND out of my head. My partners uncle was diagnosed and passed away of it this year and a school friends brother was also diagnosed and is currently deteriorating rapidly from it also which has made me very aware of it and so fearful of it. Experiencing muscle twitching all over my body legs, hands, fingers sometimes feels like my head is to heavy for my neck muscle. My forearms feel weak and shaky and some what like my blood is running cold. Just feel stiff. My dr thinks these symptoms are brought on by my anxiety so has put me on 30mg of propranolol as well as upping my dose of fluoxtine from 20mg to 40mg. Been over a week so far and i have not seen any improvement. I have my first session of CBT on the 15th of this month so im praying it can help me. Cant go on like this. Literally not eating or sleeping because im so anxious all the time. Im gaving anything from 5 to 20 panic attacks in the space of a 24 hour period as well as being woken from my sleep mid attack. With 2 small children under the age of 3 i fear they will pick up on it. Writing it down here makes me feel like such a fool 23 years old and worried of having and dying from MND seems irrational but the fear and belief is so real. Feel like im losing my mind :weep: :unsure: :weep: :doh:

[Traceypo]

Hi hun, really feel for you, at my worst, I fear heart attacks and truly believe I'll be dead at the end of the day.
I've done cbt and it helped me loads, I function well on the whole, but tend to relapse a little when there is something wrong with me (these can be minor things such as an insect bite which I blow all out of proportion).
The best advice I can give, is give cbt your all, you may not feel it is working for a while, but persevere.
There'll be times that you're taken out of your comfort zone, but focus on the long term goal, cause let's be fair, living life like this is far from comfortable.
I really don't believe for a minute that you have Mnd. Read up on the physical symptoms of anxiety and you'll start to understand more about it. Anxiety can mimic virtually all symptoms, your mind is very powerful.
Good luck with your therapy, hope it helps.
Xxx

[JaCkiie]

Thank you for your reply. In my more rational thoughts I know I'm probably blowing all my symtoms way out of proportion seen my Dr 3 times now and each time I have been told anxiety. I just sometimes fear that because he knows I suffer sever health anxiety he puts everything down to that as he hasn't done any tests or checks regarding my concerne. I need some solid reassurance although I highly doubt I could request an mri because I'm pretty convinced I have MND. Heard some great things about cbt so definitely going into it with an open mind. Xx

[Traceypo]

My doctor won't test me either, she said it'll only fuel my anxiety (she's probably right), to balance that, in my head I've had about 70 heart attacks over the last 7 years and I'm still here.
If you read some threads on here, it's clear from most that once something is ruled out, they either don't believe the results or jump to another serious concern.
In my opinion, cbt is definitely the way to go, you understand that your thoughts are irrational which is a major step, you have insight into this but you need help to block the negative thoughts out and challenge them when they occur.
Xxx

[JaCkiie]

Yup I can agree with that. Because before I believed I had MND I was dying of pancreatic cancer. I was convinced I had jaundice I had lost weight because I wasn't eating o wasn't sleeping was crazy. I pestered my Dr so much he sent me for a reassurance scan. Of course everything was fine. Hate that it's such irrational fears. Yeah I'm eager to get stuck into it. Is it one on one or like group therapy do you know x

[Traceypo]

I did one to one hun, pleased you're eager, having the right attitude helps loads, I remember the first lot I had and after 6 sessions we hit a brick wall, he wanted me to do something that was out of my comfort zone, I had toddler tantrum adamant I wasn't doing it, had long talk with myself and in the end came to the conclusion that I couldn't move forward without doing it, did it, felt amazing then flew through therapy after that. Had about 12 sessions but towards the end they were a month apart so we could really see the changes.
If we let the what ifs control us, we'd never leave the house.
Ps, in last month I've had oral cancer, heart attacks, Mrsa, sepsis and a few blood clots, what I've truly had is a normal bump in roof of mouth, anxiety, slight skin infection due to insect bite and an aching knee through wearing new boots.
If my gp tested me for everything, the NHS would be bankrupt.
Wishing you luck, you'll get there, when you reach a point where you can smile and think what on earth was all that panic about, then you're on the road to recovery.
Xxx