View Full Version : I'm in a really bad panic tonight and I can't seem to get out of it
My lower back is in REAL pain right now, as if the nerves are on fire. And it's spreading all down the back of my legs. Combined with my abdominal and rectal problems I've been having lately, I've just got the STUPID idea stuck in my head that I have some sort of tumour pressing on a nerve down there... I accidentally read something about it a few weeks back and I just can't shake the thought.
I was up all night because of the discomfort and I am DREADING trying to sleep tonight because right now I can't so much as sit down without real discomfort. It's not even pain, I can't even explain it. It's like the nerves around that area have been dialled up to 100. I'm actually shaking with anxiety right now.
Oh I forgot to mention my mind is also darting towards the possibility of prostate cancer as well, as I seem to be peeing non stop, although that is probably from nerves. But combined with my other rectal symptoms... FFS.... I've decided I'm going to my GP tomorrow for a rectal exam (poor them).
Wanderlust
06-10-15, 19:16
You doing the right thing KayeS by getting it checked, although at the same time go out of your way to try to calm yourself in any way that you can, it will alleviate some symptoms, such as the frequent urination which is so normal with anxiety, and you will also have a very heightened sensitivity in your body so all pains/abnormal feelings will be magnified.
The less you have to worry about the more you can focus on finding the problem (obviously not easy), but you can do it :)
The pain has actually worsened now. I am seriously in really bad pain and I actually don't know what to do.
KayeS
You are getting yourself in a real state,each day it gets worse. Why don't you phone 111 or just to calm you down get someone to take you to A & E. You can't carry on like this. I really feel for you, as I have been down that road myself.
A snowball turns into an avalanche.Posting on here continuously won't help your symptoms and as you know we aren't doctors.I am not being nasty but you need to see someone the sooner the better.IMO anxiety has got the better of you,so start with a 111 call and get to talk to a doctor,and take it from there.Good luck.
Wanderlust
06-10-15, 19:38
If possible, if the pain isnt too bad, I would suggest taking a walk and getting some fresh air, shaking off the nerves a bit, helps so much some times and can allow you a better perspective when you are absolutely lost in worry, its better than doing nothing and just worrying more until you go nuts! :)
I think we talked about IBS in another post kayeS, the symptoms you mentioned there were very similar to those presented with IBS, and I think you said you had been given the all clear for another nasty that i shan't mention, IBS is still a very real possibility.
I read your first post and at first you say pain then you say 'not pain', you are certainly nervous, but best thing you can do is give yourself a breather, write down your concerns and when you see your doc tomorrow present them, ask questions that you need to ask to get some security in your mind about the matter.
Good luck mate :)
I was considering going to A&E but I just can't bring myself to make the trip there and then wait 4 hours to even be seen just to be told there's nothing they can do right now and to see my doctor tomorrow.
I am in serious pain right now. My lower abdomen has started hurting a LOT as well as my lower back.
I'm going to have to agree with Ricardo in that sitting on here, writing about your symptoms and waiting on replies is just keeping you focused on your symptoms, feeding your anxiety and causing you to spiral deeper.
While posting can be cathartic and knowing you're not alone can be beneficial, it also can and does feed the dragon and IMO, it's not helping you.
You need to find something to distract you. As suggested, go for a walk, listen to some music etc. Try to find something to help take you mind off your symptoms.
Positive thoughts
Whatever it is that's wrong with me, be it serious or not, I am in agony right now finding it hard to even write this reply. I think I am heading to A&E. I've taken pain killers and it hasn't helped and the pain has got worse and worse. I can barely sit up now
Lifelonganxiety!
06-10-15, 23:01
Only you can know what is the best course of action at this point.
If the pain is excruciating and nothing you are doing is helping like taking painkillers, or trying to stretch or shift position then you should have it evaluated.
MyNameIsTerry
06-10-15, 23:12
Why a tumour? Cancer?
What you are describing could easily be some form of back pain, postural problem or nerve issue like sciatica. It could easily be more than one condition which is common in anxiety/depression sufferers.
It's only cancer or tumours because it's HA. I don't have HA so the above is what I would be considering if it were me. The pain tends to ramp up our anxiety because we are getting wound up from it anyway so this is likely the case with you on top of your obsessive thoughts about what it is.
Distraction is ideal if you can find something that doesn't impact on your pain.
Since it's worsening pain, and with the referral, I would go back to your GP. But assess whether your need for A&E is coming from your anxiety rather than a physical condition.
It could be bladder infection hun, I've got similar symptoms and just been given antibiotics, go see your Dr in the morning but just now drink plenty x
I didn't go to A&E and instead have taken a sleeping pill but I can't sleep.
The pain is still there... no position seems to be helping. I feel so fed up with this.
Try a hot water bottle in your back and a pillow under your lower back to rest it? Also, try lying with your arms and legs a bit splayed like a star angel ☺️ It really could help the pain?
Why you took a sleeping pill is anyone's guess and you say it didn't help.The anxiety will increase and increase until you go ASAP to a doctor be it your practice or A & E .Surely you can understand that.
You have been given loads of advice on here yet you are still on here asking more and more questions and your doubt remains.
You have to man up for your own piece of mind,please.
Why you took a sleeping pill is anyone's guess and you say it didn't help.The anxiety will increase and increase until you go ASAP to a doctor be it your practice or A & E .Surely you can understand that.
You have been given loads of advice on here yet you are still on here asking more and more questions and your doubt remains.
You have to man up for your own piece of mind,please.
I am in the process of having investigations. I've got a colonoscopy booked on Monday, I've been having blood tests etc... I've been to doctors. I've also been in counselling for HA since Jan, and I've said to myself that once this current thing is hopefully done with, I am going to have a serious chat with my doctor about medication for HA. I'm doing all I can. It's not like I'm ignoring the HA and not listening to anyone here. I'm paying for the counselling out of my own pocket every week with money I can't really afford to be spending. And I took a sleeping pill because I am desperate for a good nights sleep which I actually finally got in the end.
Why you took a sleeping pill is anyone's guess and you say it didn't help.The anxiety will increase and increase until you go ASAP to a doctor be it your practice or A & E .Surely you can understand that.
You have been given loads of advice on here yet you are still on here asking more and more questions and your doubt remains.
You have to man up for your own piece of mind,please.
Ricardo, I can tell you why Kaye is still on here in one word - Reassurance! It's because he wants, maybe irrationally, for someone to say, "I've had that before and I was fine" or "I know what you're going through" etc etc. maybe it has been said before on other posts but when you are so desperate and your head is all over the place, it's very easy to forget that. I agree with your sentiment, and actually think you are right about taking action, which he seems to be doing, but I don't think k the term "man up" is helpful. It implies that men cannot be anxious or that it makes them somehow weak, which is not the case.
MyNameIsTerry
07-10-15, 11:21
Glad to hear you had a decent night in the end. Are you feeling better for if? Lack of sleep can really hit anxiety or mood. It had always affected me badly in the past but I learned I could cope without it and it helped me react less badly to it.
Have you thought about a chat with your therapist too? If things aren't working maybe they need to change what they are focusing on?
Do you think you have reached that stage where you can't get better without meds? Or is it just this recent event that has made you feel this way?
CeeCeeCee - agreed, men or women, there is no difference. It's like saying "pull yourself together". It's also a "people in glass houses" thing for me too on a forum full of anxiety sufferers. We all have our anxieties. I think the sentiment is the verbal slap/bluntness issue that divides people on here so it can come from well meaning but it depends on the person on the end of it so unless you know them you just don't know how they will take it.
Ricardo, I can tell you why Kaye is still on here in one word - Reassurance! It's because he wants, maybe irrationally, for someone to say, "I've had that before and I was fine" or "I know what you're going through" etc etc. maybe it has been said before on other posts but when you are so desperate and your head is all over the place, it's very easy to forget that. I agree with your sentiment, and actually think you are right about taking action, which he seems to be doing, but I don't think k the term "man up" is helpful. It implies that men cannot be anxious or that it makes them somehow weak, which is not the case.
That's pretty much it. I am not here for a cure, or INSTEAD of going to a doctor. But if I can at least get a bit of reassurance from anyone here that's experienced similar things, that will help me calm down and feel slightly better. That's why I post here.
---------- Post added at 11:53 ---------- Previous post was at 11:52 ----------
Glad to hear you had a decent night in the end. Are you feeling better for if? Lack of sleep can really hit anxiety or mood. It had always affected me badly in the past but I learned I could cope without it and it helped me react less badly to it.
Have you thought about a chat with your therapist too? If things aren't working maybe they need to change what they are focusing on?
Do you think you have reached that stage where you can't get better without meds? Or is it just this recent event that has made you feel this way?
CeeCeeCee - agreed, men or women, there is no difference. It's like saying "pull yourself together". It's also a "people in glass houses" thing for me too on a forum full of anxiety sufferers. We all have our anxieties. I think the sentiment is the verbal slap/bluntness issue that divides people on here so it can come from well meaning but it depends on the person on the end of it so unless you know them you just don't know how they will take it.
I don't know if I'm the kind of person that therapy can help... I'm being very open minded about it but I just don't know if it's for me. I am considering trying another therapist or different style but I just can't keep getting into these states of panic. It's ruining my life and if medication can help that, I'm willing to try it. I do feel a bit better after having slept last night for sure.
Not one treatment suits all, if it did, there'd be no anxiety sufferers. Recovery is a journey, you've got to find the right path for you, that could include therapy, medication or both.
I hit a brick wall with therapy, but only because I was too stubborn to go outside my comfort zone, once I accepted that it could help, I did it and it really helped me. I will admit though that during some sessions, I thought to myself why am I wasting my time.
That's pretty much it. I am not here for a cure, or INSTEAD of going to a doctor. But if I can at least get a bit of reassurance from anyone here that's experienced similar things, that will help me calm down and feel slightly better. That's why I post here.
Repeated posts and pages and pages of reassurance prove that reassurance just doesn't work for a person with what by all indications is suffering from a rather severe case of HA/anxiety.
---------- Post added at 11:53 ---------- Previous post was at 11:52 ----------
I don't know if I'm the kind of person that therapy can help... I'm being very open minded about it but I just don't know if it's for me. I am considering trying another therapist or different style but I just can't keep getting into these states of panic. It's ruining my life and if medication can help that, I'm willing to try it. I do feel a bit better after having slept last night for sure.
As much as everyone here tries to help one another, eventually you come to the conclusion that sometimes there's nothing to be said or done. There are many members that have been here for years and are still in the same place (more or less) they were when they joined. It's sad but it's true. Those members have posted very similar statements concerning therapy and some feel that way about meds or try them and go off before any benefit is seen. It's just the way it is.
One look through your post history and it shows the all too familiar pattern of illness hopping, seeking reassurance, doctor visits, tests, doubt and more reassurance before the ailment changes. Good luck to you Steve. I hope all the exams and tests prove to be negative. I wish you the best.
Positive thoughts
As much as everyone here tries to help one another, eventually you come to the conclusion that sometimes there's nothing to be said or done. There are many members that have been here for years and are still in the same place (more or less) they were when they joined. It's sad but it's true. Those members have posted very similar statements concerning therapy and some feel that way about meds or try them and go off before any benefit is seen. It's just the way it is.
Good luck to you Steve. I hope all the exams and tests prove to be negative. I wish you the best.
Positive thoughts
If I was here, and not trying to help myself outside of this message board, I can see how that is a problem (unless this board was genuinely providing the help I needed and I was getting better from it).
But I guess who are we to say whether or not a person should be posting here or not. I don't really have anyone else I can talk to about my HA, so coming and posting here about it is cathartic in a way. Even if no one responds, it lets me get it off my chest. And then other times when others respond who have been through the same thing, it can help immensely (at least in the mean time between counselling and doctors appointments). Everyone is different and different things help different people.
I just received my colonoscopy information pack in the post and am feeling more anxious about it now after reading the potential risks involved... but at the same time I know that if I have this done and it's all clear, I can start to get on with life again.
Kaye
We are all different and can only get a feel of the person who one is trying to advise by their posts and Fishmanpa and myself though quite different in personality and age can be rather blunt when addressing someone if we feel that we and others have repeatedly given sensible advice.
I agree "to man up" maybe wasn't the correct terminology and for that I apologise.I know how very hard it is for many men to express themselves on a forum such as this, but in my case I nearly pleaded with you to go and get some help as your anxiety was escalating by the hour but you thanked me and others but still continued to look for reassurance.
You say you have no other person to talk to to and that is genuinely sad,but I gave you the option to speak to an out of hours doctor or go to A & E but you declined.
Now you are even more worried having received your colonoscopy pack, which I assure you is standard reading for all patients and the risks involved are absolutely minimal.
I really am sorry for you and I would try and get some diazapam from your doctor to calm you down for the next few days.
Kaye s
I haven't read all your posts, but their seems to be a consensus of opinion that your health anxiety is escalating. Perhaps if YOU read back all your posts, you may be able to see the trend.?
And perhaps mention it to your doctor or therapist
NMP is an extremely helpful forum for sufferers of all types of anxiety, whether it be for, information, advice or just reassurance. I would hate to see any person feel that they don't have that lifeline if they need it.
Kaye
We are all different and can only get a feel of the person who one is trying to advise by their posts and Fishmanpa and myself though quite different in personality and age can be rather blunt when addressing someone if we feel that we and others have repeatedly given sensible advice.
I agree "to man up" maybe wasn't the correct terminology and for that I apologise.I know how very hard it is for many men to express themselves on a forum such as this, but in my case I nearly pleaded with you to go and get some help as your anxiety was escalating by the hour but you thanked me and others but still continued to look for reassurance.
You say you have no other person to talk to to and that is genuinely sad,but I gave you the option to speak to an out of hours doctor or go to A & E but you declined.
Now you are even more worried having received your colonoscopy pack, which I assure you is standard reading for all patients and the risks involved are absolutely minimal.
I really am sorry for you and I would try and get some diazapam from your doctor to calm you down for the next few days.
Once all of this is done I am going to chat with my doctor about medication for sure. And no offence was taken, it's all good :)
---------- Post added at 14:01 ---------- Previous post was at 13:59 ----------
Kaye s
I haven't read all your posts, but their seems to be a consensus of opinion that your health anxiety is escalating. Perhaps if YOU read back all your posts, you may be able to see the trend.?
And perhaps mention it to your doctor or therapist
NMP is an extremely helpful forum for sufferers of all types of anxiety, whether it be for, information, advice or just reassurance. I would hate to see any person feel that they don't have that lifeline if they need it.
I often read back on my older posts and feel genuinely embarrassed, and I'm sure I'm going to do the same with these posts sometime in the future. I fully accept I have HA that can escalate out of control sometimes and I really am committed to dealing with it. At the moment my main focus is the colonoscopy on Monday and getting that out of the way and getting some answers for how I've been feeling over the last couple of months and once this issue is dealt with, believe me I won't just ignore my HA, I will 100% be taking steps to deal with it further.
Lifelonganxiety!
07-10-15, 18:50
Quick question, how is the pain today?
Once all of this is done I am going to chat with my doctor about medication for sure. And no offence was taken, it's all good :)
---------- Post added at 14:01 ---------- Previous post was at 13:59 ----------
I often read back on my older posts and feel genuinely embarrassed, and I'm sure I'm going to do the same with these posts sometime in the future.
Hi,
Please, never ever be embarrassed by any post you write, hopefully you consider any advice or comment given and act on it to your greater good.
We are all in this anxiety boat together (in different ways). Sometimes it takes another person to see what we can't.
Xx
Quick question, how is the pain today?
The back pain has gone today but everything else is still there, but I'm in less of a panic...
---------- Post added at 19:55 ---------- Previous post was at 19:54 ----------
Hi,
Please, never ever be embarrassed by any post you write, hopefully you consider any advice or comment given and act on it to your greater good.
We are all in this anxiety boat together (in different ways). Sometimes it takes another person to see what we can't.
Xx
Thank you, I appreciate that... Sometimes it does me good to feel embarrassed as it's a good reminder of being in that state, and it all turning out ok in the end...
MyNameIsTerry
07-10-15, 22:29
So, because the pain has subsided and you slept better do you feel more balanced and resilient? If so you need to find ways to spot such triggers and prevent the spiraling.
I have some of this issue as physical symptoms have always been the worst for me. I find that it helps to get going and get on with things and getting some exercise too. That can be tricky with pain issues though but if you can find healthy engrossing activities, it may help.
So, because the pain has subsided and you slept better do you feel more balanced and resilient? If so you need to find ways to spot such triggers and prevent the spiraling.
I have some of this issue as physical symptoms have always been the worst for me. I find that it helps to get going and get on with things and getting some exercise too. That can be tricky with pain issues though but if you can find healthy engrossing activities, it may help.
I definitely feel more balanced today. Don't get me wrong, I'm still anxious and worried but I feel more in control of it today and I have more of a "there's nothing I can do now anyway except wait for my colonoscopy" attitude...
I usually train in the gym 5 days a week... I haven't been for nearly 2 weeks now :/
MyNameIsTerry
08-10-15, 05:19
So, have you discussed with your therapist how triggers such as physical pain or symptoms of that nature make you catastrophise? And how lack of sleep impacts on your resilience?
It's worth have a chat about those things to see what techniques he/she can work on with you, if you haven't been doing this.
I would consider meds on the basis of overall becaue I'm wondering whether you can cope now and it's just these intense escalations that you need the most help with. If so, maybe therapy can achieve that? Meds are worth a look but you know how they can go so if there is a less sdie effect related option, it seems worth exploring it.
So, have you discussed with your therapist how triggers such as physical pain or symptoms of that nature make you catastrophise? And how lack of sleep impacts on your resilience?
It's worth have a chat about those things to see what techniques he/she can work on with you, if you haven't been doing this.
I would consider meds on the basis of overall becaue I'm wondering whether you can cope now and it's just these intense escalations that you need the most help with. If so, maybe therapy can achieve that? Meds are worth a look but you know how they can go so if there is a less sdie effect related option, it seems worth exploring it.
That's the thing with me... Compared to this time last year, I am coping LOADS better with anxiety than I was. I (believe it or not lol) find it easier now to calm myself down when I'm being irrational and am able to kind of say to myself "the chances of it being anything serious are very low, it's more likely to be this etc..." but when something like the other night happens where I was in agony, added to the fact I've been having abdominal problems for months now, I lost that control and went into a panic. Right now I can feel anxiety in me but I've got a lid on it. This time last year I would be in a state.... I really don't know what the next step should be in tackling my anxiety. If it is to stick with therapy, I do believe a different therapist is the best idea as I actually don't think the therapy is what has made me better equipped to handle HA, and I know this sounds arrogant, but it's more me that has learned how to handle it now just from past experiences all being fine in the end etc...
MyNameIsTerry
08-10-15, 23:20
My personal view is if it is chronically affected you and you can't control it, meds may be needed. If you are seeing progress then meds seem less likely to me. But being someone with GAD, it's always been an everyday thing to me and less about the flare ups. I guess you need to know what is the best strategy for managing a spiral and it will need more than just meds anyway as that could resurface when you withdraw if you haven't learned how to stop them progressing to this level. Meds could reduce the rest of your anxiety too and maybe the spirals with be less intense but meds to manage flare ups are more the Benzodiazapenes route.
Most of therapy is on the patient, the therapist had the easy job.
I'm in the same boat, when I'm well, I'm great, but when something actual occurs I can't manage. This round of anxiety was started with an infected insect bite and it's continued from there.
I'm awaiting a third round of cbt to look at relapse prevention and I've requested a referral for psychology which is a years wait.
I'm bouncing at minute from one thing to another and struggling to separate anxiety from physical.
I'm seeking medical reassurance virtually daily and I'm annoyed at myself for getting to this again.
I won't medicate, only because I'm so scared of side effects.
Good luck x
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