View Full Version : really need reasurance
please can any one give me some advice or explanation or reassurance as to why this is happening as im really worried. the past few weeks ive been feeling im loosing my mind im going crazy, am I getting other seriouse mental illnesses, the past few days as soon as I wake up they are there and feeing I cant cope , I have a horrible feeling feel in my stomach,as if I want to cry but cant ive been trying to exept that they are just thoughts but for some reason because I get these thoughts I think they must be real and mean something and that's when I start to think I must be loosing my mind and going crazy because I think they are real, its really worring me because i don't know why i think that the thoughts must be real even tho deep down i know they are not. thk you
MyNameIsTerry
10-10-15, 12:53
Hi Tricia,
When I used to go to the charity walk-in groups my local one was in a centre for outpatients with more serious mental health conditions e.g. Bipolar, Schizophrenia, etc. They always had leaflets in reception so I took a few to read. I remember how it explained that people who truly do experience psychosis are lost in it and cannot see outside of it. I've read about delusions too and with those there is a 100% unwavering view that their delusions are the truth.
Neither on those are you.
I've been through the stages of thinking I'm going crazy. When my OCD went full blown I hat no idea what it was as I knew so little back then. This was the first time for me. The second came on & off with constant mood swings where I felt so unbalanced and in tears a lot.
I'm threw all that now and have been for ages but when my blips come and the agitation cranks up, I still get some thoughts like this. I handle them though because of my knowledge of what I've been through, what I know about anxiety and because I've recovered to a much better stage so have that strength back. But like many on here, I've had all those doubts and spent time thinking about whether I am going crazy or not. I just hung on to what those leaflets told back then when I me a lot less.
Accepting thoughts is hard work because for some time they will still scare you. If takes practice and reducing overall anxiety levels with relaxation techniques and healthy behaviours really helps too.
You know you won't go crazy and it's these intrusive thoughts about something you are scared of that is causing you to panic. Keep trying and when you can't seem to do it, come back to these posts to remind you that you are ok and have been through it before.
Sometimes you just can't cry, you want to so you can have a release but at the same time your emotions feel blunted and it just won't come. I've had that a few times. It's frustrating but it's just something that seems to happen sometimes.
:hugs::bighug1::flowers:
thk you so much terry u are a great help to me, I do have a hard time execpting the anxiety maybe its because I feel so anxiouse 24/7 no matter wat I do, and I really need to try and start believing that its just anxiety and it cant harm me but I find that so hard to do even tho I know it cannot harm me and its just adranalin going thro my body which causes the feelings and symtoms of anxiety but I still let it take control and feel very scared of it, like today the way my thinking prossess is and plus my arms and legs feel weak my stomach feeling the way it does the feeling of lump or something in my throat feel sick and the feeling of something isn't right I start to panic and think surely this isn't just anxiety and that's when I cant seem to believe its anxiety and have to ask for reasureance all the time which doesn't help in the long term. you mentioned healthy behaviours im not sure what that means (sorry if I sound abit thick) and just wonderd if you could give me advice on that if you can so I can try and help myself abit better thk you
MyNameIsTerry
11-10-15, 09:30
What I mean by healthy behaviours, other than changing thinking as thats really hard, is things that are productive and you feel you gain value from. For instance, hobbies, socialising, exercising, learning, etc anything that helps to give you productive things to do with your day and helps to reduce time spent thinking or focussing on symptoms. Some people like reading, drawing, painting, craft work, etc. It can be a healthy form of distraction and it helps build our confidence as well as lift our self worth & self esteem. These 3 areas take a major battering from mental health issues.
At my worst I sat all day in front of the TV and suffered. It is really hard to add in even small activities when you feel like that as you are afraid that in doing them you will bring more anxiety on yourself. Sometimes you do and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you do and you learn to get past it so you end up with a worthwhile activity you don't get so anxious about.
Distraction techniques are ok but they really are more for panic than GAD. GAD just keeps going all day long for some of us and doing these techniques all day is disruptive, I think, but healthy forms of longer term ones are just hobbies & activities and these will do the same but not always snap you out of panic as quickly. What they will do is help you get into a groove of something over a longer period of time so that anxiety levels decrease. It's a bit trial & error though and can be hard at first but it helps some people.
I understand about accepting it as anxiety. For me I knew it was and never really questioned it so I've never had the HA style worries where I am doubting what it is. But what I have always had major problems with is the symptoms themselves, I've always hated them more than the thoughts by far. Physical sensations and how I feel in my body have been a driver all the way through for me and the reason why I have found acceptance of this area very hard. I know it can't hurt me and I accept that but what I also know is that it is very unpleasant and will blight my day. This is the part I have trouble getting beyond.
I also have asthma and I've been through questioning whether it is anxiety or asthma. I know the difference and it's more muscular tension lower than my chest causing me to feel tight chested but I'm not really tight chested as that would affect my breathing because of the asthma. So, I know it's not really affecting me other than being uncomfortable. It has made me feel like I am struggling for breath but if you've ever had an asthma attack, like I have a couple of times, you will remember how it feels and can rationalise with that. It's totally different than panic and asthma is more about not being able to breath out than breath in anyway. It still caused me issues for some time though in trying to understand if it could be.
Thks terry I will look into trying a hobbie or something ,as some days I do just sit in my room just suffering and like you I hate the phyisical symtoms, I have copd so like you sometimes I don't know if it that or the anxiety ware my breathing is concerned, terry I don't go out very often socializing or go and visit my children because of the way I feel especialy if I have to go by car or bus but yesterday afternoon my daugter and her dad was going to visit my son and asked if I wanted to go I said yes but didn't really want go because of the way I was feeling but I went because I wanted to prove to myself and to my children I can do it, I did feel awfull all the time I was there and coming home in the car seemed worse than going I felt lightheaded and sick the tension in the back of my neck was really bad and felt drained afterwards and I think that's why I aviod going out because of how it makes me feel , but I did feel pround that I done it reguardless of how I felt , I did start to question if this normal to feel all these symtoms everytime I go someware.
I think it's very normal to feel like this with GAD, Tricia. You're definitely not going mad and have to believe that as we've said before. I experience all of your symptoms on a daily basis and like to think that I'm still sane!:D I know it's no laughing matter though when you are in the thick of it. Sending you warm wishes
MyNameIsTerry
11-10-15, 11:52
Yes, be proud of yourself as it's an achievement. Whilst it was hard and the anxiety just kept going, you still tried to get on with things and not let it stop you.
I guess what you need is a set of coping techniques for those types of situations. When I was struggling at work I would take myself away to calm down and use some basic distraction techniques like counting backwards from hundred a few times as well as some breathing techniques. With the nausea I used to use an accupressure point on my wrist and this did help quite a lot.
When I was really really badly struggling when I started my current med I would be panicking when I was eating meals in front of the TV with family. I would be the same when my brother came around. This was the worst point of it. When I was eating I decided to intently focus on the TV power button and I mean really focus whilst I ate. This got me through and after a week or two it started reducing so that I didn't have to do it anymore.
I would go out walking and have various safety behaviours to help me through that non stop stage. Whilst safety behaviours are bad for us, I think when you are really bad you need them just to get you to progress and then you work on removing them later when you feel stronger and in more control. So, I would have a bottle of water to sip on, my inhalers (2 "just in case" :doh:) and something in my pocket to have in my hand to try to focus on which was a stress stone my mum bought as a little something to just carry.
These things did help along with breathing work and intent focus techniques. The intent focus can be useful when you are out. It's not like exploring with senses like Mindfulness, it's more just using your eyes to stare for a few minutues to try to stop you focussing on what sensations are causing you to panic at that moment.
Things like that may help when you are out or in the car. I used to have nausea when in cars or on public transport and did these types of things to get me through until I didn't need them anymore. The same can be done with people, in shops, etc.
I think coping techniques & safety behaviours just help a littlle bit here & there until you start to see your anxiety levels reduce and you can do more.
Thk you pulsa and terry you both have been so kind and helpfull to me, if you both don't mind me asking you as u both seem to be in abetter place now manageing your anxiety . Did you both do it more or less on your own or was it with meds and therapy that helped you, I ask because as you know I'm not getting any therapy at the moment and far to scared to take meds and I just keep hopeing that one day I will be able to manage the anxiety and have some of my life bk instead of thinking this how I'm always going to be, I have a assessment with a physciatrist on the 28th of this mnth and to be honest I'm quite scared of going incase they tell me something I don't want to hear or they will try and force me take meds l as this happened to me a few yrs bk with one so called physcatrist I saw so that is playing on mind quite badly.
I have those feelings pretty much everyday, GAD, panic attacks, depression. After years of living with it, having it ebb and flow, and finding out what made it worse for me, I've tried to simply co-exist with the help of my medication and self-talk. Things are worse now because my husband is ill, but I can actually see light at the end of the tunnel for him and the family and it's not a freight train. It's true--knowledge is power and the more you understand what's going on, the easier, and I use that term loosely, it is to cope.
Once, I found an online article about famous people who suffer and had suffered with mental disorders. Let me tell you, we're in good company because that list was impressive. Still, I know that doesn't make it any easier for you. Just let me say I understand, I've been there, am there now, and probably always will be. We do the best we can and get on with it, each in our own way. If you're crazy, well, a bunch of us are. ( You're not). I like to think we have brain glitches 'cause we're so smart.
My best to you, anytime.
Thk you very much lillith for your support its comforting to know I'm not alone and coming on here and getting adviceand some support even if its only a few members that does give me their time /advice/support which I am so grateful to them and won't mention their names because hopefully they know who I mean. When I first joined a few yrs bk it was such a good site but hate to say it but now it doesn't seem the same which is a shame, I know some people post a lot myself included but sometimes it gets abit disheartning when you don't get a reply from anyone as it makes you feel your the only one that feels like it ,that's how it makes me feel but that's probly just me thinking this way.
Sunflower2
12-10-15, 19:33
Hi Tricia,
No one can force you to take meds, as I was in your position with them for a long time. When I eventually took them it was my decision and my GP actually was surprised because it was such a huge fear. But, medication is just one way of treating anxiety. Heaps of people can manage their anxiety without anything, so don't give up hope that you can't just because you don't want to take meds.
I'm trying to come to terms that I'm just going to live with the anxiety. I'm teaching myself to cope with the thoughts and feelings and live my life with it anyway. Easier said than done when I want to just curl up in my bed, but no illness is easy to deal with.
You're very brave for going out and facing anxiety provoking situations, it's hard to feel so anxious all the time!
Tricia, I'm new and thrilled to have found this site, so I can't say how it used to be since I wasn't here. I'm just glad to have found anything! Maybe look at it this way if it seems you don't get the responses you used to. The world moves fast and keeps getting faster--people try to keep up so that could be one factor. But better yet, maybe many of those people have learned, somehow, to deal with their anxiety or whatever they had they caused disruption in their lives and they are out there busy living! And it might be you who's better tomorrow--you just never know. And, another factor could be that those of us who struggle with this are ultra-sensitive. I know I am. When I'm at my lowest, I'm very vulnerable and it doesn't take much to hurt my feelings. It happened just last night. I was talking to a family member about my husband, how this illness has affected our income, our home life, everything. I was simply reaching out. Instead of compassion, understanding and comforting words, I won't even begin to tell you what this person said to me. I was hurt, but kept my cool. After we hung up the phone, I really thought about it and realized, this person has no social skills. None--nada. I do better reading articles and posts right here than trying to talk to someone who doesn't have a clue what the meaning of compassion is. So, where did that leave me? I figured, best thing is to shrug it off, never, ever tell her anything personal again, and limit the phone calls.
That's the way people are, some of them, and we all run into them from time to time. So hold close the people who really care about you, and discard the ones that are clueless. They'll only make your anxiety worse.
I care--anytime.
I wholeheartedly agree with what you say, Lillith. When the chips are down we do not need people in our lives who are going to make us feel even worse or who are just plain useless and incapable of showing the slightest degree of compassion.
People are in general quite selfish and only think of themselves, particularly these days. I know there are many people on NMP who genuinely feel your angst and share your symptoms and who want to help. I don't often talk about my symptoms but I have them too and pretty full-on. As Lillith says, having the knowledge as to what is happening to me can be empowering but I think it's a question of learning to live with the condition and accepting that some times will be a lot more challenging than others.
MyNameIsTerry
13-10-15, 05:41
Tricia,
The only way any person in the UK can legally force you to take medication is under a section or a Court Order. All they can do if you refuse to take meds is refuse to offer any alternative. Whether they should do this and try to get you onto meds depends on whether they believe you cannot do it without otherwise they are not acting with the patients interests in mind. Whilst the latter will certainly happen with doctors, then it becomes a matter for complaints & escalation and there are ways to do this.
Remember if you say no, they cannot do anything unless you are unable to look after yourself and need sectioning whether voluntary or mandatory and this process requires independent people and several involved. Considering you are talking on here and as long as you are able to take care of your food needs, clean enough to keep yourself healthy, etc it's very very unlikely.
I can't say I have ever known a different NMP in terms of support but there are plenty of people who have said the same about less supportive people around. It's obvious that there are people around who talk me to each other, probably on PM, so maybe it's just a matter of older friends drifting away? I rarely speak to more than a few people on PM myself but with moving between loads of threads I think people get to know a bit about you and so you see them more often whereas people who post in less probably don't strike up the same rapport as they have less exposure.
It was the same in the charity walk-ins I went to. Initially it was mostly the same people with the odd new person but over the months it changed to more new people and more people who never seemed to come back (or maybe went to the other locations due to convenience?) but as long as there was a few left I still felt supported. So, if you have only a few people, you have a lot in my opinion.
Sometimes it can be quality not quantity that's important and NMP can only provide a limited support network due to its very nature. I think it's good if you can talk about your fears on here Tricia as most of us can truly empathise and people are giving you supportive and detailed responses.
Scaredlady
14-10-15, 18:00
Hi Tricia.
You are feeling EXACTLY like me_ thoughts of going mad, ending up in a mental health hospital, never ending over thinking. I can very much relate to what you're experiencing.
I have convinced myself that my anxiety is the onset of schizophrenia and I can't shake that belief because every time I rationalise the idea, my anxiety ruins my positive thinking and I end right back where I began- frightened, worried, anxious.
It really is horrible. I had a very bad night last night, some of today I have been fine but I can now feel myself slipping back into the dark again.
I really wish I could help myself and then I could help you but unfortunately I am as lost with it all as you seem to be.
Feel free to private message anytime if things get too much.
Best wishes.
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