health anxiety taking over my life

[calmmynerves]

Hiya 1st time I've posted. . I've suffered with health anxiety for almost 9 years, it started just after the birth of my eldest son, 29yrold female .. this last 6 weeks have been a living hell for me, I contracted either stomach bug or food poisining 6 weeks ago (convinced it was food poisining as no other family member was ill) had stomach pains ever since .. visited doc was told it was ibs .. unable to control my fears I visited docs a different doc told me the same, constant fear of cancer led me back to the doctors this week and doc suggested it's all anxiety and ibs .. but because I had pain in my mid back right side muscle yet again convinced it's cancer .. doc.agreed to run some blood tests including inflammation to put my mind at ease .. yet another meltdown in the docs due to results taking so long .. finally all came back clear bar white blood cell count being slightly higher due to the infection 6 weeks previous. . Now I'm feeling light headed and sick and noticed I've lost some weight . Realistically I no its because I haven't eaten properly for some weeks due to the worry of it all .. plus the diarrhoea from ibs and stress of it all .. doc have prescribed me pills to calm.my anxiety but still can't relax about the whole situation, stomach pains have now gone after taking colofac and Buscopan. . Wish I could carry on with normal life buy struggling. .. 2months ago.i suffered with tension headaches for 4 weeks which I had convinced myself I had a brain tumour .. this is a living nightmare for me, I no other people must look and think this is stupid but this feels so real to me everytime it happens .. tired mum and irritable. . Hate being this person, I just want to wake up and start the day like everyone else with no constant worry ..

[Beckybecks]

I too suffer from health anxiety and have had similar episodes to you so I can sympathise greatly. I started with IBS as a child, always due to anxiety. As an adult and in recent years I began to fear that it was something more. And the more I feared the worse it got.... I too had food poisoning that triggered a flare-up and the anxiety then caused the IBS to last for 8 months! I did elimination diets, research, lost lots of weight until I had to hide the scale I was so scared. Somehow, through tests and reassurances from doctors my brain finally clicked that my anxiety was actually the cause of the cramps, wind, diarrhea and once my mind accepted that, I calmed down and found I could actually eat anything with no problem at all!
I've been through the head ache / brain tumor thing too. It took six weeks of acupuncture to calm me and my head down.
I think what I'm really trying to say here is that yes, when we're this anxious then most of our symptoms are due to the anxiety. Test yourself. Next time you get a symptom, tell yourself " I'm giving myself a whole week before I start to worry. Nothing's going to happen to me in a week. If the symptom's not gone by then, I will take my body off to the Doctor. After a week I will allow myself to worry, but NOT until then! "
I hope this helps you, it seems to be working for me.

[calmmynerves]

Thanks for your reply .. it's relieving to hear other people's stories rather than thinking I'm all alone in this, I honestly thought the blood results would put my mind at ease but no luck 😐 ... I've now focused on my weight .. which I'm not a small woman and would usually be happy to lose weight but now it's just cause me worry .. on the scales I've only lost 2lb but my clothes r definitely a lot bigger .. have been very stressed last few weeks and haven't eaten much or any of the usual rubbish I usually eat so I'm assuming it's down to that ... well trying to convince myself .. I think I may of picked up a stomach bug of my son which is making me feel lightheaded and sickly .. didn't want to resort to medication to deal.with this anxiety but this is by far the worst episode I have had .. I've needed time off work .. my husband looks at me.stupid (who 2 yrs ago had testicular cancer ) my nan has just overcome lung cancer I think all these r triggers for my anxiety also ... feel like a complete idiot some days but when I'm feeling like this I only see the worst. . It's even rubbing off on my children they r so worried everytime they get a cut or. Some scrape... that a my fault for.ruahing them.to docs every sneeze or sniffle, I work.in the care industry also so see a lot of death and tragedies. .. think I may be in the wrong job 😯 thanks again for us reply means alot

[Traceypo]

Hi hun, my health anxiety began following the birth of my son. Thoughts then just spiralled out of control. I can't even be tired without thinking there's an underlying condition causing it.
I too work in the care industry, with young people leaving care, I think this has impacted on the anxiety as even when I'm home I'm still worrying about work.
I'd recommend cbt, it can be really useful, whilst I was waiting for my referral I attended a stress class, that was useful to understand the physical symptoms of anxiety and how they impact on your body.
Xxx

[tiredofthis14]

i too know exactly how u feel im going threw same thing at the moment i went to hospital with heart palpatations and they run loads of tests and the blood clotting test came back positive so i freaked out they cleared me of a clot but i didnt believe them iv now had 3 dopplers on one leg one doppler on other 2 chest x rays a ct on chest countless blood tests and ecgs but i cant calm my mind that im okay i cant even leave bedroom at the moment the panic attacks are continous i dont know why we suffer this i dont know why we arent reasured but your not alone hun i know exactly how you feel people say your fine docs have cleared you but it feels so intensely real nothing anyone says stops the worry

[SamanthaAU]

First of all, I'm sending you a great big massive hug!

I had really bad health anxiety for around 5 years - when my second was around 6 months. It is hard work!! I feared so many things, heart problems and DVD/blood clots being the main ones. Do you know what 'cured' me?? Getting a blood clot!!

It made me realise that the 5 years that I spent worrying and obsessing about things changed nothing!! It didn't stop me from getting a clot!! I was also lucky enough to find a therapist around the same time who just let me talk. She listened and reassured but mainly just let me talk. And then she convinced me to go back on anxiety meds.

So, sometimes you just have to keep muddling through until you find your 'cure'. Don't give up hoping, don't give up trying. Try so hard to enjoy your time with your kids. It's not an easy road having health anxiety and you aren't alone!! The amazing people on these pages helped me through many a tough time and nothing helps more than people that understand.

Don't give up hope xxx

[Wanderlust]

Hiya, and welcome, very sorry to hear about your anxieties.

Just wanted to say a couple of things, that anxiety will make you so much more sensitive to everything, you will notice more and you will certainly focus on things that you are worried about, they will feel far more pronounced. Also, that if you are taking an anxiety medication, they rarely work straight away, you may even feel more nervous for a little bit and thats the tough part, but they very much can help you.

I certainly experience many tension headaches and your other symptoms, light headed and sickness and losing weight are all super common, I get them all the time, have done for the last 15 years and I'm stick ticking along (I say this only as a reassurance and do not want to worry you that you will be facing this for as long as I, many people do beat their anxieties and help is much more available and better than it ever was for me when I first started dealing with it).
Lastly, you are absolutely not in any way stupid nor would anyone on these forums think so, we can all relate to your fears and worries, and we are all here to help each other where possible :)

Hope you can find some comfort soon, work closely with your doctor, trust them, and consider CBT and other therapies for the future if you do not find relief from the medication alone.

[Pepperpot]

Hey and welcome. I totally understand where you're coming from. I too panic at the slightest little thing with my kids - it all started in Jan when my youngest was rushed to hospital. Whenever they're ill I panic - they start to panic and it spirals. I am terrified for my health too - what would happen to my poor kids if I died, etc. My hubby is not sympathetic and tells me to stop feeling sorry for myself - he has no idea at half of the thoughts I have, well in fact, any of them. I am here if you need to chat x

[calmmynerves]

Thanks for ur reply. .. today is yet another really bad day for me , had to leave work early again due to another anxiety attack, googling everything under the sun .. I've had a meltdown twice already today .. I so hate the person I have become 😢 keep being told if I had cancer it would of shown up on my blood results
. Why can't that be enough for me to settle? ? I just want to accept I'm OK and get on with my life ... everyday is a bad day lately ... I am going to see the doctor.again tomorrow for more reassurance. . I don't no what else I'm to do now. So worn out thanks everyone this does help xxxx

[Pepperpot]

The googling needs to stop - I know this cos I do it. Have you tried CBT? x

[calmmynerves]

I no I just can't seem to stop myself from doing it .. in my mind I'm trying to reassure myself but nothing good ever comes from it at all ... how can something as simple as ibs cause this amount of stress and worry, no the doctor has said she will review my mens in 2 weeks and refer me but I really think I need it sooner, I can't go on like this it's affecting everything I do ... used to be really happy always out and about and now I am finding myself sat in my mother's house daily looking for constant reassurance trying not to be alone giving myself time to think ... I'm putting alot of.pressure on my husband kids and family by being like this .... my mother is afraid I'm close to a big breakdown. . I hoped that having some bloods done and the results being normal would put at ease. . This is torture xx

[Pepperpot]

I no I just can't seem to stop myself from doing it .. in my mind I'm trying to reassure myself but nothing good ever comes from it at all ... how can something as simple as ibs cause this amount of stress and worry, no the doctor has said she will review my mens in 2 weeks and refer me but I really think I need it sooner, I can't go on like this it's affecting everything I do ... used to be really happy always out and about and now I am finding myself sat in my mother's house daily looking for constant reassurance trying not to be alone giving myself time to think ... I'm putting alot of.pressure on my husband kids and family by being like this .... my mother is afraid I'm close to a big breakdown. . I hoped that having some bloods done and the results being normal would put at ease. . This is torture xx
I really feel for you cos I am the same. I am slightly better than I was 3mths ago, but still not good lol. I am more concerned about how my kids will cope if I die of some sinister illness.
Where I live, you can refer yourself to therapy - it's called Talking Matters. No doctors required. x

[calmmynerves]

Thanks for ur reply .. this is helping me by seeing other people's stories and seeing I'm not alone ... yeah that's such a worry to me my kids are 9 and 4, this all started after the birth of my eldest son ... but this is by far the longest and worst anxiety attack I've ever had .. 6 weeks now .. lack of sleep .. no appetite and constant worry and panicking .. fair to say I'm absolutely worn out now ... I think I'm getting pains on and off .. one pain finishes another starts .. constant worry ... I'm seeing another doc Tues so will follow up about cbt I need something to help me get back to some sort of normality x

[Conkers12]

Just wanted to say hi and that I know how you feel.
My HA started after the birth of my youngest child, 2.5 years ago. I thought I'd finally got it under control but I can feel it slowly creeping back in. I'm a wreck at the minute, thinking the worst all of the time. I think it's time to admit I need to see the Dr.

[Lifelonganxiety!]

Hey there, I'm yet another person who can relate to what you're going through. What I can tell you is that it can and will get better!

I've "had" pretty much any disease there is, and yet somehow they all went away once I calmed down. Not saying it doesn't come back, but with time you'll realize you are worrying over nothing.

By all means, discuss symptoms with your doctor. They are the only people that can actually diagnose you with anything, but know that many many people have the same symptoms and fears as you.

I see they gave you medication. It can take a couple of weeks or up to a month to start working. If it's anything like me, once it starts taking effect your life will change so much for the better. Just stick with it, don't Google anything, trust your doctors and distract yourself by playing with your kids or getting into a good book.

Unfortunately and particularly with things like IBS or stomach issues, stress will cause it to go haywire! Oh, and your weight loss doesn't sound serious at all. We all fluctuate in weight on a daily basis (up to 7lbs some days for me!!). You just had a stomach virus and are eating less due to stress. Losing a little weight is entirely to be expected in your situation!

[Cusper]

Hi!
I have to say the same thing happened to me not long after the birth of my son. Having a child is such an EXTREME life change. #1 you are tired all of the time. #2 you have to make sure that you have to keep your baby happy and healthy #3 you have less time to go out and live your life the way you did before having a child so it also gives you more time to think. My son is now four years old and I still suffer from it. It was worse before. I was constantly worried about him growing up without a mother. It's scary being a parent, not to mention extremely difficult that all of your needs really come last. I have read a lot over the last few years about nutrition and what you eat really helps with anxiety. Cut out caffeine... that also causes diarrhea and anxiety. Also, because I had developed this intense fear of death I read some books but of them there is a book that calmed me the most and it was called "Dying To Be Me" by Anita Moorjani- you can youtube her as well if you want to see what she has to say but it gave me peace. I hope this has helped. Oh also B complex is good to calm your nerves as well.

Sending you lots of calm, positive thoughts. Big hugs, i know this intense anxiety is such and awful thing.