I need advice

[kelly246]

Hey guys sorry to go on again but really need some advice as im really down i have a terrible fear of death and dyeing even writing about it scares me and its getting to the point that ithink about it every day abd think its going to happen any second and i get strange feelings that i think relate to dyeing silly i know its stopped me getting on with my life as i fear it will happen its making me just so depreesed as if i do things i cant enjoy it as im constantly worrying sorry to go on please if antone has any advice please reply thanks for reading love kelly x

[davidthegnome]

Kelly, there's no need to apologize to us, I'm sure we all know what it's like to be afraid of death. Many of us have even had the severe, almost disabling fear of it that can keep us up at nights. These thoughts and fears are very normal when you have panic attacks and anxiety. I used to freak out real often and I wouldn't relax until someone took me to the ER and I checked my pulse, blood pressure, oxygen saturation and so on. Even then I was still terrified at times. Maybe the Doctor missed something critical... maybe I have some unknown illness... maybe thinking about it all the time is going to make it happen... those thoughts all ran through my head.

I can tell you that, no matter what, over time this intense level of fear will pass. You'll realize eventually that you aren't dying, even though your mind and the symptoms are setting alarm bells ringing. Have you seen a Doctor recently? If you have and have had a good checkup, we can safely assume that you're not going to die instantly. No one has ever, not once in the history of humanity, died from a panic attack. They may terrify us, but they cannot kill us.

Some times we can get so shaken up that we think a weird sensation of tingling in our hands or feet, or a bit of pain in the arm means we're having a heart attack. Others times we may think that our head is shaking strangely or we have bad headaches and instantly think of tumors. These fears are normal for panic attacks and will pass in time as you realize that they are completely groundless.

You are safe, coherent, able to type and read. It also takes courage to talk about intense fears, so you are definitely a person with lots of courage. I applaud you for that and hope I can give you some comfort.

When you're thinking about dying, is there any particular sensation or specific fear that bothers you most? Some of us worry about heart attacks, for others it's tumors or passing out, there's a number of these fears and sensations and they can be unique to every individual. Whatever it is for you, remember all the times you've felt that way before and escaped unscathed. Perhaps you were afraid, but you were unharmed.

If you're really panicky right now, I have a little suggestion. I used to do simple excercises to ground myself. Try, for example, adding two plus two, then four plus four, then eight plus eight and so on. Do this for as long as you can, if you find it helps, do it until you feel calmer. This is something you can do anywhere that doesn't require anything but your mind. Be gentle with yourself if you have a hard time doing it, take some deep breaths. Try placing one hand on your stomach and another on your chest. Breath in deeply and feel your stomach rise and fill with air, then slowly exhale and feel your stomach sink.

You're going to be just fine, this is just another little bridge to cross and you're making it. One foot in front of the other, slowly, but steadily, you will get better and be calm again. I promise.

God bless you, PM me any time you want to talk

Dave

[belle]

Hi...
I can completely relate to what you are saying. I am so pre-occupied with dying...when its going to happen, how its going to happen, will i be alone..., will it hurt...etc etc. Scares me - A LOT!

I wish i had some words of wisdom for you, but then if i did, i wouldn't have this horrible fear either :(

Sarah x

[Meg]

Kelly ,

In order to counter this you need to do a bit of inner searching.

When did this get a hold of you?
Did you read, see, hear anything that got you thinking about it ?

What symptoms really scare you, have you asked a doctor about them?

What evidence/facts do you have that any of what you feel is in any way dangerous to your health ?

.....and if you can't come up with any robust reasons to be worried then you need to slowly and gently challenge yourself to prove to yourself that you are live and well and safe.

Noone said it will be easy, but once you've made a couple of steps and made it through a challenge or two it gets easier.

Right now you're allowing a cacaphony of negative thoughts to swirl around and totally engulf you and as Energy Follows Thought - it is normal that you then feel totaly rubbish.

Think scared = feel scared. It's pure physiology., Just your innards doing what it says on their tin


Meg

proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice = progress

[pamella]

hi iv just read your introd and thought hey up thats me.i am so scared of dying to the point were i go round and round in circles thinking.. wish i hadnt been born and then i woodn't hav to die,but then if i wasnt born woodnt be thinking this,round and rround this would go in my head.im 43now and still fighting this fear,but u hav got to ask yourself, why bother with a question no one has or can giv answers to no matter were or how hard u look.no one has come back to tell us its that bad,we hav to stop tormenting ourselves and accept,and enjoy life now.sorry cant be of more help except to say i honestlly no how u feel.maybe if u hav faith in some religion it could help.

pjrobb