Gayngayn
12-10-15, 00:13
Hello everyone, I am new to this site although I have read quite a few posts on here and nearly all are very similar with symptoms etc, here's my story:
I'm quite sure that my health anxiety started on the day of the hills borough disaster which is the same day that my gran died (not relating to the disaster), this is when I started to feel like life was cruel and out to get me.. I was 19 years old... And back then just entering into what would later turn out to be a violent relationship, skipping the 14 years of hell which was marriage, the only good thing was 2 lovely sons, now grown up and leading their own lives, I seemed to be existing not living, life was tainted by health anxiety all this time although it was mild, small things like preferring to stay indoors, not looking forward to family parties, meeting new people, I thought this was " just the way I was". In 2003 I met my "now" partner and had another son in 2005 and life carried on as it always did.. Existing...then in March 2011 my life just crashed and burnt... I lost my dad, my best mate, my rock, the only real man in my life, if the bottom hadn't fell out of my world before.. It had now.. I spent the next year in bed only getting up to go to the toilet, my partner took over everything the house, our son, school, and did everything for me, I was stuck, then in April 2012 I got ill, swelled ankle (which I ignored) then a week later terrible pains... Needless to say I was taken to hospital and diagnosed with pulmonary embolisms, due to laying in bed all day and night, poor diet, no exercise and overweight in fact obese. I was lucky, I am now on warfarin for life.... So that's what HAS happened and now 3 years later I am still in a black hole due to this lot happening, visits to a&e, doctors, councillors and why? Because I have health anxiety... I am only just starting to understand this condition, I understand that if you get a pain somewhere in your body and you get anxious about it and worry about it, then it gets worse, this is so true, I have spent days panicking about certain pains or aches thinking cancer, heart troubles, will I have to have an operation and what about the warfarin, I could bleed to death, is this pain linked to the warfarin... It's never ending every single day, something 'doesn't feel right'.
I have read so many articles on health anxiety it's unbelievable but now I think I'm finally going to get somewhere, it's all about staying positive, panic feeds panic, worry makes worry and thinking negative about that pain makes more pain, best thing is too think 'this pain will be gone within a week' and breathe and then find something to occupy the mind. Do not Google your pain, it will only tell you that you have something that you don't. I also get the palpitations, fast breathing, heart racing, shaking, pins and needles, upset stomach, changes in bowels, feeling neck pulse, humming in ears, constantly looking for lumps, bumps, spots, sore throat, aching neck and muscles etc etc the list is endless these are all anxiety symptoms and can be overcome, it's hard and it's draining but I'm sure I and anyone else can overcome this will the help of this forum, other people's posts and positivity.
I am still having anxiety but now I feel more positive that it won't beat me. I hope anyone reading this can take something from this and help themselves and others
I'm quite sure that my health anxiety started on the day of the hills borough disaster which is the same day that my gran died (not relating to the disaster), this is when I started to feel like life was cruel and out to get me.. I was 19 years old... And back then just entering into what would later turn out to be a violent relationship, skipping the 14 years of hell which was marriage, the only good thing was 2 lovely sons, now grown up and leading their own lives, I seemed to be existing not living, life was tainted by health anxiety all this time although it was mild, small things like preferring to stay indoors, not looking forward to family parties, meeting new people, I thought this was " just the way I was". In 2003 I met my "now" partner and had another son in 2005 and life carried on as it always did.. Existing...then in March 2011 my life just crashed and burnt... I lost my dad, my best mate, my rock, the only real man in my life, if the bottom hadn't fell out of my world before.. It had now.. I spent the next year in bed only getting up to go to the toilet, my partner took over everything the house, our son, school, and did everything for me, I was stuck, then in April 2012 I got ill, swelled ankle (which I ignored) then a week later terrible pains... Needless to say I was taken to hospital and diagnosed with pulmonary embolisms, due to laying in bed all day and night, poor diet, no exercise and overweight in fact obese. I was lucky, I am now on warfarin for life.... So that's what HAS happened and now 3 years later I am still in a black hole due to this lot happening, visits to a&e, doctors, councillors and why? Because I have health anxiety... I am only just starting to understand this condition, I understand that if you get a pain somewhere in your body and you get anxious about it and worry about it, then it gets worse, this is so true, I have spent days panicking about certain pains or aches thinking cancer, heart troubles, will I have to have an operation and what about the warfarin, I could bleed to death, is this pain linked to the warfarin... It's never ending every single day, something 'doesn't feel right'.
I have read so many articles on health anxiety it's unbelievable but now I think I'm finally going to get somewhere, it's all about staying positive, panic feeds panic, worry makes worry and thinking negative about that pain makes more pain, best thing is too think 'this pain will be gone within a week' and breathe and then find something to occupy the mind. Do not Google your pain, it will only tell you that you have something that you don't. I also get the palpitations, fast breathing, heart racing, shaking, pins and needles, upset stomach, changes in bowels, feeling neck pulse, humming in ears, constantly looking for lumps, bumps, spots, sore throat, aching neck and muscles etc etc the list is endless these are all anxiety symptoms and can be overcome, it's hard and it's draining but I'm sure I and anyone else can overcome this will the help of this forum, other people's posts and positivity.
I am still having anxiety but now I feel more positive that it won't beat me. I hope anyone reading this can take something from this and help themselves and others