haven't been on this site in maybe....4 years?

[rachelkookoo]

hello all

I actually had to make a new username because I couldn't remember my old one....too long ago!

Well for those of you who don't know me - I'm 25 years ago, have been experiencing anxiety and panic attacks since age 17. Hasn't been a massive problem for me for the past 3-4 years, been living with minimal anxiety and getting on/enjoying my life.

Lately my anxiety has been creeping up on me. Been experiencing panic attacks / toilet phobia (diarrhoea - need I say anymore?) while at work. Its been pretty hard because I mostly work 12 hour shifts. So stuck for 12 hours in a place which seems to be where my agoraphobia loves (or hates) the most.

I'm pretty sure this heightened anxiety is caused by a few things:

1. I'm moving in january to england to pursue a masters in mental health nursing (go figure!) - I'm actually super excited but I guess moving and change and all that does bring about anxiety.

2. more than anything I had a discussion with my boyfriend of 4 1.2 years last month which i think REALLY added to my anxiety. basically i thought we were a 'sure thing' (if theres even such a thing - probably not!!) and the conversation basically opened up to him saying that he loves me, but he's not sure I'm 'the one'. blah blah blah. so of course all this uncertainty has led my anxiety to be like :bighug1: helloooooooo racheeeellll remember mee??? your old buddy old pal who likes to ruin relationships and life in general!!! but besides that, he's actually been trying harder in this relationship and seems more affectionate. has always been supportive and great with my anxiety.


anywho, short story thats where i am now. struggling as i feel i wanna stay at home most days and make my way through countless cups of tea and biscuits. but nay, life goes on and i want to get through this. going to see a counsellor tomorrow, maybe I should start taking my anxiety medication again? (bromazapam 3mg). I've also started exercising and practicing meditation which does help to get rid of stress in my muscles.


just need some TLC and support. :weep:

[oldtime]

I sometimes say the wrong thing to my partner and feel awful about it after. There are things that I have said years ago that I still regret now. Men find it difficult to articulate that an emotion is deep or meaningful, men that over state their love are probably not always sincere.

I still get bouts of anxiety, when it happens I try to identify the triggers. Sometimes they are subtle like the smell of a bonfire or just a tension pain in my shoulder. If you can identify triggers you can start to rationalise them and say to yourself that they are harmless. Its hard to not fear a fear, but you can not fear the triggers.

I think exercise and meditation are the best, they really help more than anything else.

I would probably not jump back onto medication unless the anxiety starts to take a grip. I think I've been too quick to go back on the pills when I have blips and then its hard to stop them again. Having said that medication does work well for me.

Seems like you have a great supportive boyfriend, hopefully the anxiety is just a blip that you can ride out.

[Joe C]

Was it just a flippant comment by him meaning he doesn't think about things like who is "the one?" Men can be pretty insensitive at times without meaning to be, if it is more the case that your relationship is a bit rocky at the moment my heart goes out to you as that is the kind of thing that would set me off. Try and keep smiling, talk to your counsellor, exercise and meditate, all will help! Thoughts are with you x

[rachelkookoo]

Was it just a flippant comment by him meaning he doesn't think about things like who is "the one?" Men can be pretty insensitive at times without meaning to be, if it is more the case that your relationship is a bit rocky at the moment my heart goes out to you as that is the kind of thing that would set me off. Try and keep smiling, talk to your counsellor, exercise and meditate, all will help! Thoughts are with you x


ya its hard to know, and then of course my nature is to not let it go and keep thinking and over thinking about it. it was a long conversation, in the end he was very upset at even the thought of us breaking up, so i guess thats a good sign haha. its just hard when something is unsure like that, but i guess thats life.

I've started training for a 5k and am meditating so hopefully that will begin to help. seeing a counsellor today to let off some steam and talk about things so i think that will help also.

[nomorepanic]

Hi rachel - I sent you a message about your previous login on here

[shanlynn1012]

Funny or not i have not been on in about four yrs too. Just like you say it creeps in on you. In hindsight its been creeping for a few mths. it sucks! I wish you all the best :)