back again with vision problems

[ker92ri]

Hi I have been inactive for a few months. This blindness fear totally overwhelmed me to the point I was having suicidal thoughts and needed crisis team intervention. Specsavers have refused to see me so I have resorted to seeing other optometrists as well as being under the care of a opthamologist. I must have spent hundreds on eye tests sometimes going for 2 or more a week. I have had all sorts of tests. I have been diagnosed with dry eye syndrome and blepharitis. My OCD behaviours are just out of control, I need to test my vision daily and this usually involves making sure I can see a number plate from the required distance. My doc seems to think my blurred vision is being caused by my unstable tear film but obviously I'm not convinced and I'm petrified I'm going to lose my sight. I have worn glasses for over 20 years but have also recently noticed that I can not see without them very well at all. I used to be able to have comfortable vision and only really wore them for that extra sharpness. No one has really explained that to me, apart from being caused by aging eyes (I'm only 23). I am also suffering from terrible ghosting at night (reinforces my keratoconus fears). I have been told it's because of my astigmatism but have never had any problems before.

Just a lot if unanswered questions and I can't cope. Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Kerri

[countrygirl]

Oh Kerri, I know there is absolutely nothing that I or anyone else can say that can help you as your OCD will not let you listen to reason. But I do feel for you as your fear is so very real.

I am partially sighted and I am coping, I have adjusted and will continue to do so. Blindness is very real for me although total blindness is very rare as usually some sight is retained. I understand your fear of total blindness all to well but for your its a fear and almost certainly never ever going to happen.

I hope you can get some help for your obsessional fears.

[ker92ri]

Thank you country girl for your kind reply. The Internet definitely doesn't help but I'm addicted to it. I go to it out of desperation and to seek reassurance and get the complete opposite. I think I know too much for my own good. I'm plagued by thoughts of 'what ifs'. It really is impossible to say I will never go blind. I just I am unable to live in the present, I just can't do it!!