HIV - 'undetectable viral load' ??

[Westielove]

So it seems my HA is back! For those who haven't read my previous posts, I had a huge anxiety of HIV for 3 years after an unprotected albeit low risk encounter (I am a 30 year old woman who has had unprotected sex once and oral once) This phobia built up to incredible heights and finally I managed to drag my(Valium-loaded)self to the test centre to face my fear. It came back negative!

The problem is, after a couple of months of Anxiety free bliss, I feel I am right back where I started :(

It started to creep back in after I discovered a lump under my armpit (moveable lymph node) and for some crazy reason I STILL attributed it to HIV, despite my negative results. I started to doubt the efectiveness of the test. I also realised that due to the hysterical state I was in whilst getting tested, I didn't even ask what type of test it was..all I know is it was a rapid test.

So the straw that finally broke the camel's back (and broke me down) was that I accidentally came across an article today which was surveying the gay community about their knowledge/awareness of HIV. It mentioned something called 'Undectectable Viral Load' which from what I understood is where the levels are so low that they can go undetected. So of course now I am thinking 'what if?'

Does anyone know anything about this and whether it would be possible for me to 'harbour' the virus for many years without it being detected??

Just when I thought I was out of the woods, that familiar old stomach churning, heart racing, shivering, dizzying feeling that we all know too well, came crashing down on me again 😔

[Lifelonganxiety!]

Hi,

You were tested at least 3 years after any potential (extremely low risk) exposure. Modern HIV testing is extremely accurate, about as good as any testing can be so given the time frame between sex and the test I would say you are 99.9999999% certainly free from HIV. I only don't say 100% because this is an internet forum and I'm not a doctor.

The thing is, even if your partner had HIV (Which I very much doubt), a one time encounter has about a .1% chance of transmission. It's not even worth getting into the statistics of transmission because you were tested, and it was negative!

Undetectable viral load refers to people that have HIV and are taking treatment for it. Essentially, modern treatments are so effective that they can bring viral loads down to practically zero. It's not a cure, as the virus remains dormant, but as long as they continue medication they will not suffer the effects of HIV or AIDS.

[Westielove]

Hi lifelonganxiety

Thanks so much for your response..and thanks for he clarification on what it is referring to - makes sense! I feel much better now.

Grrr it's so frustrating! I know it's completely irrational for me to think this way.. I think this 3 year long phobia has really done some damage so things are resurfacing a little. I really did believe it would all go away once I got the negative results, but at the first sign of a 'symptom' and it rears it's ugly head again. oh well, hopefully I will eventually beat it 😬🙏🏽💪

[Lifelonganxiety!]

I can totally relate. HIV fear (very similar circumstance to you) is what kickstarted my whole health anxiety. The only thing that got me off the HIV fear was a test. It's very conclusive and I have zero fear of HIV now.

A negative test is great news for you.

Feel free to contact if you need any more support.