Scaredlady
15-10-15, 23:34
Hi everyone.
I registered on this site just a few nights ago and in hindsight I should have done the courtesy introduction before seeking advice.
I don't know if we're allowed to share our names so I will just say that I am female and Irish.
I have been suffering from what I am told by my GP and an A&E doctor is 'Acute Anxiety' but I am struggling to believe that.
My problems all started roughly 6 months ago back in May. Prior to this I had endured a very stressful time but I had got through it.
So one night in May I was reading all evening in total silence and at around 1am I tore myself away from my book and went to bed. I was woken out of my sleep by a 'noise' but went back to sleep.
The next morning I was like a different person; I was overly aware of noise and all noises caused me to panic and feel afraid. I couldn't cope with the shower as the noise from the running water was too much to bear, the same feeling applied to the kettle boiling, the tv, the phone ringing- basically every possible noise was a concern.
I had become sensitive to noise literally overnight and since then it has got worse. I am convinced that noise is a voice and that I am displaying the signs of schizophrenia/bi polar.
My own breathing can actually trigger an anxiety attack because I will think it's a voice- I have the same problem if I hear a plane- Children playing in the street- My dog barking- Kitchen appliances, just any noise at all.
I try to rationalise my thoughts and tell myself that I am being silly- that none of it is voices but instead just normal noises that never used to bother me but then my fear takes over and I am petrified.
I am convinced that I will spend the rest of my life in mental health facilities and be battling schizophrenia/bi polar. I have actually sat at times hoping that I have a tumour and it is making me think the way that I am and also craved a heart attack in the hope that if I have a physical problem, the mental one will go away.
I am not suicidal and I am not depressed but I am very very very afraid of schizophrenia/bi polar and to be honest I don't understand how I got to this point- Like I said it happened overnight.
I have good days where I will believe that I am OK and that it isn't the thing that I dread but then the worry and intrusive thoughts grip me again and I am back at square one. I have tried the techniques, limb shaking, breathing in and out, distracting myself etc but none of it helps.
The GP prescribed Propranolol 40MG twice daily and Sertraline 50MG twice daily when I eventually went to see her in July... but I only started taking the Propranolol a couple of days ago and I haven't the courage to take the Sertraline because it can increase anxiety levels and I really don't think I could cope with that.
I am worried sick also that medication will actually trigger schizophrenia/bi polar if I don't already have it- which is where I contradict myself I suppose because I am convinced I have it but at the same time convinced that medication will cause it.
I can no longer read because I can't concentrate on it for being consumed with worry about the silence around me and think there are voices but I can't read with back ground noise either because then I think the noise is voices. It is the same with the tv- I can't use my hair dryer either and such things.
It is all a massive nightmare and it shows no signs of improving.
Anyway hello again and all of the best to all of you on here.
I registered on this site just a few nights ago and in hindsight I should have done the courtesy introduction before seeking advice.
I don't know if we're allowed to share our names so I will just say that I am female and Irish.
I have been suffering from what I am told by my GP and an A&E doctor is 'Acute Anxiety' but I am struggling to believe that.
My problems all started roughly 6 months ago back in May. Prior to this I had endured a very stressful time but I had got through it.
So one night in May I was reading all evening in total silence and at around 1am I tore myself away from my book and went to bed. I was woken out of my sleep by a 'noise' but went back to sleep.
The next morning I was like a different person; I was overly aware of noise and all noises caused me to panic and feel afraid. I couldn't cope with the shower as the noise from the running water was too much to bear, the same feeling applied to the kettle boiling, the tv, the phone ringing- basically every possible noise was a concern.
I had become sensitive to noise literally overnight and since then it has got worse. I am convinced that noise is a voice and that I am displaying the signs of schizophrenia/bi polar.
My own breathing can actually trigger an anxiety attack because I will think it's a voice- I have the same problem if I hear a plane- Children playing in the street- My dog barking- Kitchen appliances, just any noise at all.
I try to rationalise my thoughts and tell myself that I am being silly- that none of it is voices but instead just normal noises that never used to bother me but then my fear takes over and I am petrified.
I am convinced that I will spend the rest of my life in mental health facilities and be battling schizophrenia/bi polar. I have actually sat at times hoping that I have a tumour and it is making me think the way that I am and also craved a heart attack in the hope that if I have a physical problem, the mental one will go away.
I am not suicidal and I am not depressed but I am very very very afraid of schizophrenia/bi polar and to be honest I don't understand how I got to this point- Like I said it happened overnight.
I have good days where I will believe that I am OK and that it isn't the thing that I dread but then the worry and intrusive thoughts grip me again and I am back at square one. I have tried the techniques, limb shaking, breathing in and out, distracting myself etc but none of it helps.
The GP prescribed Propranolol 40MG twice daily and Sertraline 50MG twice daily when I eventually went to see her in July... but I only started taking the Propranolol a couple of days ago and I haven't the courage to take the Sertraline because it can increase anxiety levels and I really don't think I could cope with that.
I am worried sick also that medication will actually trigger schizophrenia/bi polar if I don't already have it- which is where I contradict myself I suppose because I am convinced I have it but at the same time convinced that medication will cause it.
I can no longer read because I can't concentrate on it for being consumed with worry about the silence around me and think there are voices but I can't read with back ground noise either because then I think the noise is voices. It is the same with the tv- I can't use my hair dryer either and such things.
It is all a massive nightmare and it shows no signs of improving.
Anyway hello again and all of the best to all of you on here.