Anxiety, guilt and work

[Bluebll]

Does anyone else suffer from severe guilt with their anxiety? I'm constantly worrying about upsetting other people, whether I've unknowingly offended someone..... etc, etc.

Anyhow, recently my anxiety has flaired up hugely and this is mainly at work.... I work in a very high pressured role in a small company and I've decided that I want to leave to find something part time and local. I dread going into work, am constantly on the verge of tears and it's causing me a lot of stress. As it's such a small company (20 people), I feel terrible about leaving. Particularly because my colleague who reports into me is heavily pregnant and most of my work will be delegated back to her. Lots of people have left recently and I know the director is concerned already about the impact on staff morale. Am I terrible to leave? I feel like I'm being so selfish but I'm really concerned about my health and I know it's what I want to do. I just feel so guilty :weep: What if my leaving causes her a lot of stress and this impacts her pregnancy?

[Scaredlady]

Hi.

Do you think if the tables were reversed and you were the one being left with the work of a former colleague, that the other person would be worried about the impact on you?

Being considerate of other people is a beautiful quality to have but in my opinion you obviously have problems of your own, so think about yourself.

At the end of the day it is just a job, your health is far more important. I don't think you have ANY reason at all to feel guilty.

Best wishes.

[dedalus]

Does anyone else suffer from severe guilt with their anxiety? I'm constantly worrying about upsetting other people, whether I've unknowingly offended someone..... etc, etc.

Anyhow, recently my anxiety has flaired up hugely and this is mainly at work....

I can relate to that. I suffer a lot of anxiety around work as well.


Lots of people have left recently and I know the director is concerned already about the impact on staff morale. Am I terrible to leave? I feel like I'm being so selfish but I'm really concerned about my health and I know it's what I want to do. I just feel so guilty :weep: What if my leaving causes her a lot of stress and this impacts her pregnancy?

How come there are so many people leaving? Maybe the company doesn't really have a future? I am thinking of leaving my current job also. I haven't been there too long (under two years) but I've never felt really comfortable there. I don't manage the social side of work very well. I don't really get involved in chatting and banter and all that stuff. I'm not terribly interested in it. Anyhow, if I manage to find something else I won't feel especially guilty about leaving the current job.



I dread going into work, am constantly on the verge of tears and it's causing me a lot of stress.


I have struggled with huge feelings of guilt about leaving other jobs in the past and handing in one's notice is not an easy thing to do. However, you've got to think of your health and peace of mind. It sounds like it is causing you an awful lot of stress so if there's an easier life for you then maybe you should go for it.

I would imagine that your colleague will be going out on maternity also. If she is heavily pregnant, as you say.

I wish you the best anyhow. I can understand your dilemma and stress.

[Bluebll]

Thank you both so much for your kind replies.

Scaredlady - yes, I know you're right about the tables being turned and that makes me feel a lot better. Thank you :)

Dedalus - it's reassuring to know that I'm not alone and I'm sorry to hear you also have issues with anxiety at work. It's really tough isn't it? I suppose work can be stressful in it's very nature - let alone for someone who is suffering from anxiety. I hope things improve for you too :hugs:

[ray.olsen]

Hello,
It's pretty normal to feel guilt whenever we are anxious. We tend to put other people's sake first before our very own, it's admirable but sometimes what we need to do is to be realistic. I understand how difficult it is to leave work when you know someone is depending on you. But in your case i think she would understand. Your health is much much more important. You're not being selfish, you're just being rational.

[Randara]

Hi :)

Just wanted to say I agree fully with all the other responses. I'm going through a similar thing at the moment and everyone I've spoken to about it has said its not worth risking my mental health over a job that I don't like.

This year has been really tough for me in my job, but I don't regret it I just see it as something to learn from and it's made me realise what my limits are. I still don't know what I want to do but I definitely know what I don't want to do now!!

Leaving this job doesn't mean that you're a failure or letting anyone down, it just means it didn't work out and it wasn't right for you. At the end of the day you have to think about yourself and what's right for you!

[dedalus]

Thank you both so much for your kind replies.
Dedalus - it's reassuring to know that I'm not alone and I'm sorry to hear you also have issues with anxiety at work. It's really tough isn't it? I suppose work can be stressful in it's very nature - let alone for someone who is suffering from anxiety. I hope things improve for you too :hugs:

Yes. It's tough because we spend so much time working. Sometimes I think that I would prefer not to have to work at all if I could manage that somehow. However, it's not an option because I have financial commitments etc.

I just feel quite isolated in work. As I said above I'm not really involved in the social side of things. In general when I speak to somebody it's work related. I am very nervous about approaching certain people so I keep the interpersonal aspect of things to the minimum that I can get away with.

There are many days when I just won't have a conversation with anybody. I eat lunch at my desk which is what most people do.

I actually have got a phone interview for a different job next week however. I have decided that I want to move on. To re-assure myself I have made a list of reasons why I would like to leave and I think that they are valid.

What's the latest with yourself anyway? Have there been any developments?

I hope that you are doing well :)

[dedalus]

Hi Bluebll. Just wondering what happened? Have you done anything about leaving the current job etc?

[Emma1027]

I have learnt the hard way-you come first as does your health. Sometimes you have to put yourself first and dont feel guilty. The way that some people treat us makes us feel bad but actually its them who are making us feel this way which is wrong. We spend so much time trying to please others and do what is right but ask yourself am i really happy cos you need to do whats best for you and follow your heart. We all get to the stage of moving on, focusing on different areas of our life and we want the best for others but sometimes we get the crap straw as to speak by making sure everyone else is ok. Yeah were not heartless but were not a mug either. Dont be made to feel as thou you have to be pressured into something or as thou your less important.

---------- Post added at 22:59 ---------- Previous post was at 22:56 ----------

You have every right to move on without being judged. Be head strong cos some people will take advantage and use you which is even worse. If someones a good person they should respect you and not walk all over you. I hope it works out well for you.