feeling strange

[Boydo]

ive had anxiety, depression, derealization etc for the past year now ... ive literally had everything fatigue symdrone to thinking i had a brain tumor my progress has been great and the very odd time ive felt 100% human but everyday my memorys wont feel real or ill think am forgetting things,ive also had sleeping problems the last 3 weeks now which was gone but as i drift off i wont fall fully asleep and feel asif am sedated if i sit up, now sat here for no reason feeling like something wrong... my life alot better then a year ago i quit drugs, yeah ive been thought hell and signed of work as i was on so many tablets ill sweat in panic 24/7 for months .... sertraline and diazepam seem been the only 2 too ever worked i dont take benzos anymore as i know how addictive they are but i panic ill go back to were i was or if there is a deeper problem with me, ive had countless doctors appointments blood test and seen about every doctor at my surgery, yet i can get over this feeling is just anxiety or derealization state .... am having a kid to my gf of 2 years god bless her for standing by me as been times were ive been a dick and tried pushing her away as i didnt want drag her down with me ..... but ill look at her and feel nothing or feel asif we never had a connection the same goes with my mum on odd occasions ill get spooked out that there someone else talking to me even my friends who am deeply close too, my progress like i said has happened i dont sweat anymore, i dont fear going out, i dont think got brain tumour 24/7 or make up i have other medical problems but this empty feeling is still here in my chest i can feel something not right and it seems to be the viscous circle even my gf bump feels surreal i love feeling him kick around but i dont feel asif am connected like it really happening i cant bring the excitement or the true feeling and i wanted be dad scine i lost my first baby at only 17 am now 25, sorry to ramble on but maybe someone can shed some light CBT was useless i understand how it all works but when my baby boy here when i hold him i want to feel that connection and love and need find a way to switch that back on along with being able fall asleep without waking up 10 mins later to feel like fighting my own body ! all the best guys

[Boydo]

wow i must be alone on this

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi James,

I think we all have some of this at some time or other, I know I have. I've questioned my relationship but when I'm actually with her, it's a different story. I've had some occasions where I've been asking myself whether I still love her but then later, when my mood was better, I found I enjoyed being there and those questions never came up - quite the opposite as I start thinking about our future. For me, mood plays a big part. I've found high strength Omega 3 has helped me with this as I've been having mood swings ever since I started my current med (which I didn't understand until years later when joining here and talking to people opened my eyes).

For you, does this happen everytime with your GF? Does it happen everything when feeling your son kicking? If not, what is different when you feel nothing and what is different when you feel something for them?

If it's constant and everytime, maybe it's some anhedonia? Do you feel anything for other things? Does anything feel good?

Has the sleeping thing come along recently? Is it connected to your feelings about this worry? Is it perhaps some pressure with such a major life changing event coming in the future?

[ray.olsen]

Hello there

Man you've been through a lot. I'm sorry but at the same time I'm amazed at how strong you are being able to survive all those mental health issues. I think what you are realizing is derealization and depersonalization. It can be acquired since you already have anxiety and depression. Don't worry it can be treated, I understand that CBT is currently not working best for you. I still urge you to be patient and give it one more try. Consider reinforcing it with other approaches such as attending support groups, meditation, some people even believe that hypnotherapy could help.

You can never settle with one approach but you shouldn't abandon it as well. Just back it up so it'll be more effective. Live a healthier life as well. GoodLuck and congrats on having a child.