Moles causing melanoma anxiety

[molrol]

Hi All,

New to the forum but not to having a health anxiety!

I have suffered from anxiety (and from ocd i believe) since a young child. I remember constantly worrying i was going to die, as i got older and started learning about all the nasty diseases there are i've 'had' MS, Parkinsons, Breast cancer, Brain tumour, bone cancer, cancer of the lymph nodes...you get the picture!

After at least a year of having my anxiety under control, I recently moved house and changed jobs and unfortunately this seems to have kick started one of the biggest flare ups I've experienced in years!

This time my concerns are centred around melanoma. Mainly that i will either develop it due to being careless in the sun in the past, or already have it as i have a HUGE amount of moles. These moles are acting as triggers for me, every time i look at my skin i see at least 5 and seem to be discovering more all the time. Everytime i look at my skin, i lose endless minutes of my day to examining, checking and rechecking the moles, i feel a wave of fear, panic and revulsion rush through my stomach and its all i can do to stop myself having to leave work and rush to the doctor. I have been there at least 5 times in a month over this issue, and each time I'm told it benign. I know its benign but the 'what if' is always there. I don't understand how people cope with discovering they have this disease, i have been on so many forums about melanoma in a bid to 'normalise' it (so it doesn't seem so scary) and all i can think is, 'how to these people continue living a normal life?????' I am utterly convinced I'm going to get it, and the new report saying if you have over 11 moles on an arm you are 5x likelier to develop skin cancer hasn't helped since i have about 30 on one arm!

God i hate this affliction!

[lofwyr]

I am in the same boat, but have put it to rest a bit. Six months ago I even had a huge scare where the doctor thought I had nodular melanoma. Turned out to be benign, but I got a huge education about it.

So, after my scare, I did some number crunching as I have a ton of moles too, easily 30 on one arm as well, and I hate every one of them.

But in the US, a country of about 350 million people, just around 70,000 got it and less than 10,000 died from invasive melanoma in 2013. It is a lot for the people who have it, but you really do have low, low odds of getting it, and even if you get it, very low odds of not putting it in its place.

Keep an eye on your moles, but try not to obsess over them. My doc takes a peek once a year, and I have my wife check my back once or twice a year too. I check myself where I can see them probably once a month. I have some weird ones, but nothing too scary

[Worrywart528]

Wow! Your history sounds just like mine! I have lost it over skin cancer... Got some reason my health anxiety is always around this time of year. I can remember several doctor appointments around NOV or dec where a doctor or specialist gave me the all clear! All summer I was worried about melanoma... Then in mid August I had a tiny bump appear on my nose.. It isn't noticeable.. But I picked it and keep on noticing it... I am now obsessed it's basal cell carcinoma and that at 35 they will cut and disfigure me forever. My mind goes to the worst possible scenario.

Are you fair or dark skinned? Do you smoke? Have a history of melanoma in your family? Do you suffer from colds often? These are the things my doctors have asked me several times to try and calm me down.

I've seen people that spend all year, most hours of the day baking in the sun... Tanning during the winters... Never develope melanoma...

[molrol]

I am very fair, i used to smoke occasionally (not at all now) and no family history of melanoma.
My mum has lots of moles too, so i do realise that mostly my fears are unfounded but thats the point of a health anxiety! It doesn't matter how often my doctor tells me its fine, i just don't seem to believe it…it doesn't help that there is ALWAYS that one article in the newspaper in which a very young person gets cancer and its terminal…it's like a buzzer goes off in my head!

For some reason the thought of basal call carcinoma doesn't worry me at all, i think because it's the type of cancer that can be removed and you're fine whereas melanoma can spread quickly and aggressively and kill you. I get very worried that i'm going to miss something, or not notice something changing and by the time i get it checked it will have already spread to my organs! I play senarios in my head, where i've been diagnosed and i'm imagining trying to carry on living my life but knowing i'm going to die…as i said, i have no idea how people carry on!

It helps a lot to read statistics about the unlikeliness of developing something like this, and at the moment i am planning to have several of my moles removed privately so i have a more manageable amount to keep an eye on!

[Worrywart528]

molrol, I have had the same progression through health anxiety.

Lymphoma, Neck Cancer, Mouth Cancer, Brain Tumor's, MS, Parkinson's, ALS ( My muscles twitch constantly). I have never been able to enjoy the peaceful moments in my life. As soon as my life is not hectic or stressful form work or school I develop a health anxiety. I have never been able to enjoy a vacation because I am always in a panic about some sort of health issue. This new year I plan on working with mental health professional. I have so many issues right now, OCD, Perfectionist, Health Anxiety... My mind never gets a break. I am amazing at my job, probably because of my issues but when I am at home the stress is killing me.

At the moment I cannot shower with the lights on ( sounds odd) I will start looking at a mole or freckle and my anxiety sky rockets. I too am planning on having about 15 moles removed. I have about 6 dark moles on my front torso that bother me.

Once I get the larger dark ones off I will have about 50 smaller pencil tip size moles that I can hardly notice.

I read that study you talked about last night. It sounded like the number of moles on your right arm were simply an indication of having 100 or more moles on the rest of your body. I counted and on my right forearm I have about 20 small specks and moles. I also read you were not supposed to count from your elbow down. That it should be from the elbow up.... If I do elbow up I only have about 5 moles.

I hope all of us can get through this obsession together.

[molrol]

Showering in the dark doesn't sound odd at all..i can't look at my body either as it sends me into a spiral.

To put my moles into perspective, my actual body doesn't have very many just lots of small dots but my arms are another story…years of sun exposure! My right arm, above the elbow has about 20+ at last count, all on the back of my arm, they are all different shapes, sizes and colours…as i said, all benign but ugly as hell and very concerning! My left arm has about 30 above the elbow but all the same colour and size except 3 slightly larger ones.

Plus side is that on my right arm, i can remove several of them and it will improve the appearance so much! and i've already pre-picked the ones which are going! I cannot wait to have them removed, they cause me so much distress!

Working with a mental health professional is absolutely the way forward, I'm taking meds and starting therapy. fingers crossed!