please help me i cant take it anymore

[tiredofthis14]

im going threw a huge relapse like nothing iv known iv had two obsessions for the past month one my heart due to palpatations the other dvt due to 2 positive d dimers iv had a ct chest scan was negative
then i had a leg doppler on one leg negative iv since had 4 on one leg 2 on other but im still CONVINCED i have a clot like i cant focus on anything else i have pain in my leg behind my knee
i actually cant cope anymore i cant see anything logically at all no matter how hard i try
iv seen my doc i have an app with mental health but not for 2 weeks
im literally awaiting my death
i dont know what to do

[ker92ri]

Hi it seems like you're struggling. I'm sorry I don't know much about the heart or dvt. Bit I do know how obsessions can effect the body. If you keep looking you will eventually find or feel something you don't like or you can't explain. But these sensations probably don't have anything to do with these illnesses. I know how difficult it is to get out once you're in this vicious cycle. Very anxious girl here petrified about going blind.

Do anything you can to take your mind off it.

Kerri

[tiredofthis14]

aww im sorry to hear that hun it is petryfying i hate that this effects so many people and there is little help available im hysterical most days but my mental health services say unless i threaten my life or someone elses they wont help me i have 2 children if i threaten either they will get involved and im not risking my kids :(

[ker92ri]

I know exactly how you feel. I have used emergency mental health services a few times and all they have done is given me diazepam and told me to sleep. I have learnt this is a life long condition that needs to be managed. I am really struggling to manage it right now. It must be so difficult with children. I commend you for that, you are obviously a lot stronger than you think. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I promise you!!

Sending hugs.

[tiredofthis14]

thank you hun I really hope u find some relief soon I feel like I'm just sinking lower and lower the feeling like your going to die is horrendous I look at my kids and cry thinking il never see them again x