taking the bull by the horns

[jayb1]

So. I've been trying,unsuccessfully, to get a home visit for my ESA health assessment and despite a drs letter and a letter from my psychologist they just won't do. I am taking the bull by the horns so to speak tomorrow and actually go to the assessment centre! I've managed to get my brother to travel from Wales to take me and mum is coming with me as she's basically my carer at the moment. Facing major fears , leaving the house and travelling. It's only a 20 minute drive away but feeling pretty frightened. I did it going to a and e last week so I can do this . right? I will be a complete mess by the time I get there but they want to see why I can't work so I'm classing this as being a positive thing about it ! Anyway wish me luck and by 2pm tomorrow it should all be over !:scared15:

[swgrl09]

Good luck and good for you with taking on this challenge!!!

[ana]

Good luck, and congratulations on your bravery! I know that 20 mins can feel like such a long time if you're panicky, but you will be fine. :)

[Fishmanpa]

Good for you for taking the initiative. One must be their own advocate sometimes.

Here's something to try to help with the anxiety and panic. Listen to music with headphones. When I was in cancer treatment, I had to lie strapped down to a table during radiation treatments which lasted about 20 minutes. I listened to music. I knew in 4-5 songs it would be over. So, 4-5 songs you like, sing along and you'll be there :)

Positive thoughts

[jayb1]

Thanks everyone I'm so grateful for your support . I'm hoping after I've gone through it all it won't end up at appeal! I'll be back to let you all know how I got on :)

[MyNameIsTerry]

Good luck with it. Don't hold back, make them see what their pathetic policies do to people. They wouldn't be asking you to walk in the room on 2 broken legs, mental health should be no different!

[jayb1]

Thanks terry 45 minutes before leaving and I'm already a bit of a mess. Their answer for why I couldn't have a home visit was because having agoraphobia wasn't a good enough reason!!!!! If I can't have a coherent conversation with them its their fault. Be glad when it's over and done with

[MyNameIsTerry]

The appeals people are supposed to be a lot better so no matter what happens today don't let it put you off.

[jayb1]

Thanks terry. I love reading your posts and replies you are a great help to me even though I don't know you!!!!! You would make a marvellous counsellor

[GingerFish]

Good luck! I've been to ESA medicals for both physical and mental health problems and they can be quite intimidating but like everything else with anxiety, I can assure you the thought of doing it is actually worse than doing it.

[jayb1]

Well guys you're not going to believe it . 2 Valium a horrendous car journey and 4 panic attacks later I get to the assessment centre and my appointment has been cancelled because they've decided I justify a HOME VISIT. I just burst into tears and sat shaking while he explained to my mum that he couldn't understand why we hadn't got a letter but a doctor is sorting an appointment out for me to come to the house. I would have been in no state to answer any questions anyway but aaaaaaaaaaaargh :mad:

[mark84]

Grrr! I hate it when things like that happen, but you know what, I want to write to congratulate you, they may have made a silly mistake and put your through some unnecessary torment BUT you actually made it there and did a better job of keeping your end of the deal up than they did, to me that counts as a victory :)

[jayb1]

Thanks mark. Tomorrow I may look at it as an achievement but at the moment im a bit numb still can't really believe it's happened. I'm sure I'll wake up seeing the positive tomorrow !!!! :wacko:

[swgrl09]

Wow, that sounds frustrating!!! But you are right that it was an achievement. You persevered and got there!

[mark84]

Thanks mark. Tomorrow I may look at it as an achievement but at the moment im a bit numb still can't really believe it's happened. I'm sure I'll wake up seeing the positive tomorrow !!!! :wacko:

hope it seems a bit brighter today and you've managed to rest up and are feeling ok. Please keep us informed :)

[jayb1]

Yes feel a lot better today thanks mark. Didn't sleep so good but resting up today. Had to ring DWP last night as well they had not paid me any money!!!!!!!!!! Was a mistake apparently . Checked this morning and is in bank !!!!! I will let you all know the next lot of drama:)

[mark84]

That's good to hear, keep on fighting, things will get better

[MyNameIsTerry]

I'm glad you are ok. I agree with the above, you didn't back down and tried which is a very big thing to you. Whilst it's a very difficult experience it shows you that it is possible and that with work you can achieve it & more without all the anxiety if you get the right help.

I think I would be putting in a complaint about them. Whilst they may claim a letter was sent and went missing in the post, it doesn't explain why you were told you had to attend when they obviously decided to review it again to even change their minds. They should have put the meeting on hold whilst that decision was pending which would have saved you a lot of anxiety. But it's good to see that it finally reached someone with some common sense!

Thanks for the compliment, I really appreciate it. I'm glad if anything I ever say helps someone.