Oblivious to how nasty/angry I am?

[Edinburger]

Hi everyone,

I am new to the forum.

I have been on sotroline and more recently mirtazapine for just over a year (last 2 weeks mirtazapine)

Today my wife has left me to go and stay at her parents because of my behaviour.

She has said I have been bullying her and making her feel stupid. Apparently when she says something I give her a look that insinuates she's an idiot and also I speak down to her as if I'm her father.

All of which I am totally oblivious too.

I am aware that there is occasions were I maybe have a moan but she does too. I thought that's what marriage was about.

Apparently I now have a vicious look in my eyes that makes her able to tell I don't love her. Last night she spilt a drink on the carpet. She insinuated it was my fault and we began arguing. Apparently I am a lot more aggressive now than I have ever been.

No idea what's going on as I don't believe this to be the case.

We have had a tough year and it's effected me big time. She has said its effected her as much as me she just doesn't show it.

I literally have no idea what I have done or how I come across.

No idea what to do now

[theharvestmouse]

Your post has sparked worry about myself and how I come across. I also worry when I read or hear people say you can see it in his/her eyes. Because I sometimes think that I must portray in my eyes the utter despair I feel sometimes. Or the panic, hate, bitterness, indifference, etc that I generally feel like these days.

All I know is that what's more important is how we act, the words we speak, etc. But I don't know if someone is able to sense other things, like a lack of love.