darinfan
28-10-15, 02:43
Hi all. I hope you don't mind me saying that you, folks, are a last resort to me keeping my sanity!
I'm 41 and was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis earlier this year, but it started last year. My ESR plodded along at 35 or so until May and then shot up to 107 in September. Between May and September, though, I was on no medication (I couldn't cope with the constant tests at the time - I have bipolar) and the arthritis spread to three more joints (it was previously in two). What alarmed me was the shooting up of the ESR, not least because last year when it was 25 or so, I asked my GP at the time (now retired) if I should be worried and she said "oh no, we don't worry about that until it hits 100 or so, and then we think about cancer..." Trying to put my mind at rest, I know, but biting me on the backside a year later!
I asked my current GP if I should be worried and he said no, that it was just a reflection of my arthritis being out of control. Then I saw the consultant at the hospital two days later and she mentioned in passing that the ESR seemed higher than usual given the amount of inflammation she could see. Back to worrying again! But she did say she couldn't see anything to be concerned about. I then quizzed the rheumatology nurse a week later and she said it was perfectly normal for it to be that high as it often lags behind how you are at the time of the blood test. So, I thought, "right, I've asked three people now. Stop B***dy worrying!"
Then, two and a half weeks ago I find a raised lymph node behind my ear (although where they hide when they;re not raised I have no idea, as there's no room behind the bone and the skin!). I've felt them before in the past over the years and didn't realise they were even nodes! But then they vanish again - and that was before I hit hypochondria phase anyway! I wonder if they're caused the fact I get mild psoriasis from time to time on my face or a dry scalp etc. It would make sense. But I didn't have hypochondria before, and I didn't realise they were lymph nodes anyway.
So, it hasn't gone down after two and a half weeks and now I have the same feeling I had a few weeks back when I had the ESR test - that it's easy to blame everything on the arthritis and miss something else! Or, to be more precise, miss lymphoma. It's a bit like someone with IBS going to the doctors and complaining of a new symptom, and the GP blaming it on the IBS when actually it might be something else.
Does anyone else have these kinds of issues? Or course you do, or you wouldn't be here as well. Deep down, in my gut, I know the GP was right. After all, if there was anything else untoward in the blood tests, he would have come up with a different conclusions. Too much chance of being sued if they didn't play safe and miss something, right? And ESR surely wouldn't go up to 107 with one mildly inflamed lymph node that's only been there a couple of weeks (and probably wasn't there when I had the blood test done). But, in my mind now, ESR+lymph glands = lymphoma.
I've been trying CBT therapy, but I'm not sure it's working. And the last of my sessions is coming up. I have a doc appt on 9th November, because I know if I go up earlier and show him the node, he'll just say to come back in a couple of weeks if it doesn't go. It's not hard, it's movable. But it's also painless.
But how do we switch the worrying off, and stop our mind arguing with itself, and maybe even let time take its course and see if the damn node goes down by itself in another week or two? I have yet to find a way.
I'm 41 and was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis earlier this year, but it started last year. My ESR plodded along at 35 or so until May and then shot up to 107 in September. Between May and September, though, I was on no medication (I couldn't cope with the constant tests at the time - I have bipolar) and the arthritis spread to three more joints (it was previously in two). What alarmed me was the shooting up of the ESR, not least because last year when it was 25 or so, I asked my GP at the time (now retired) if I should be worried and she said "oh no, we don't worry about that until it hits 100 or so, and then we think about cancer..." Trying to put my mind at rest, I know, but biting me on the backside a year later!
I asked my current GP if I should be worried and he said no, that it was just a reflection of my arthritis being out of control. Then I saw the consultant at the hospital two days later and she mentioned in passing that the ESR seemed higher than usual given the amount of inflammation she could see. Back to worrying again! But she did say she couldn't see anything to be concerned about. I then quizzed the rheumatology nurse a week later and she said it was perfectly normal for it to be that high as it often lags behind how you are at the time of the blood test. So, I thought, "right, I've asked three people now. Stop B***dy worrying!"
Then, two and a half weeks ago I find a raised lymph node behind my ear (although where they hide when they;re not raised I have no idea, as there's no room behind the bone and the skin!). I've felt them before in the past over the years and didn't realise they were even nodes! But then they vanish again - and that was before I hit hypochondria phase anyway! I wonder if they're caused the fact I get mild psoriasis from time to time on my face or a dry scalp etc. It would make sense. But I didn't have hypochondria before, and I didn't realise they were lymph nodes anyway.
So, it hasn't gone down after two and a half weeks and now I have the same feeling I had a few weeks back when I had the ESR test - that it's easy to blame everything on the arthritis and miss something else! Or, to be more precise, miss lymphoma. It's a bit like someone with IBS going to the doctors and complaining of a new symptom, and the GP blaming it on the IBS when actually it might be something else.
Does anyone else have these kinds of issues? Or course you do, or you wouldn't be here as well. Deep down, in my gut, I know the GP was right. After all, if there was anything else untoward in the blood tests, he would have come up with a different conclusions. Too much chance of being sued if they didn't play safe and miss something, right? And ESR surely wouldn't go up to 107 with one mildly inflamed lymph node that's only been there a couple of weeks (and probably wasn't there when I had the blood test done). But, in my mind now, ESR+lymph glands = lymphoma.
I've been trying CBT therapy, but I'm not sure it's working. And the last of my sessions is coming up. I have a doc appt on 9th November, because I know if I go up earlier and show him the node, he'll just say to come back in a couple of weeks if it doesn't go. It's not hard, it's movable. But it's also painless.
But how do we switch the worrying off, and stop our mind arguing with itself, and maybe even let time take its course and see if the damn node goes down by itself in another week or two? I have yet to find a way.