Surviving school holidays?

[shelly1816]

Morning,
Im a TA with massive anxiety. On the whole for the last 7 weeks of term i have been fine. I get anxiety and panic on a daily basis but im managing it, not focusing on it and I feel I can control attacks.

School holidays however a different story. Im now at home feeling shakey, sick, light headed, not sleeping great etc etc.

I have kids but they tend to occupy themselves. I had planned to be out everyday except one to occupy my mind and was really looking forward to the week. But one of my kids came out with a sickness bug on tuesday so have been stuck indoors. I have driven myself into a right state! I was ok last night, got throuh the day, just about!, and then had a small glass of wine in the evening which seems to have solved all problems and so i now feel like reaching for the bottle!

If none of the other kids come out ill, we have a birthday party this afternoon and a day trip planned tomorrow, however as I have not socialised with anyone since i left work on friday im now soo nervous about it!

Any hints or tips on getting throuh it?

Also, any ideas how bad things need to get before I get further help or medicine? Im on a computer cbt course, which i suppose has helped a little but if im anxious everyday and have panic everyday and then on a day at home I get in such a state that im shaking, not eating etc surely there is more help? I dont want to go down the route of diazepam as it scares me but should i ask for citalopram or similar? I hear they can make anxiety worse becore it gets better, im not sure I can deal with that! My mum has had anti depressants before to help with her anxiety and said she didnt notice any massive side effects.

Thanks
help greatly appreciated!

[Oosh]

I hope your party went ok and push through with your day out today. Remember reasons to feel confidence. Remember things from your past that showed you you were capable. See yourself when you made people laugh, helped them, achieved things.

Focus on what there is to enjoy on the day out.

Then just do it. It's exposure and you'll feel your confidence build back up again.

Tell us how you get on.

[shelly1816]

Thank you for your advice.
The party was fine, I was nervous when I arrived but was fine once I had relaxed.
Yesterday I went into London for the day with my mum and sister. Felt awful when I first arrived at the train station, nearly got in the car and came home. Once I was on the train I played on my phone for a bit of distraction and did some calm breathing and was ok for the rest of the day.

My problem is I can't let it go. I think about it constantly. It needs to be something big to distract me (like London!) Books, knitting, playing games, baking - I still think about it while I'm doing it.
My concentration is awful, nearly crashed the car yesterday I was so distracted!