Fear of death [Archive] - No More Panic

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Floods

30-10-15, 11:27

Hi there,

I know posting a lot on forums can be an unhealthy safety seeking or reassurance behaviour, but I ask now from a very bad place...

Does anyone here have a fairly intense fear of death? Or, more potently, has anyone experienced this and overcome it?

My derealisation is nearly gone, my depersonalisation slowly reducing and my existential worries slowly lessening, but one of the worst things - fear of death - remains. I never feared it at all before my first panic attack, and it feels very "final" unlike the depersonalisation which is lessening.

My CBT guy tries to reassure me it will lessen with anxiety and that I shouldn't focus on it and treat it as yet another anxious thought.

Any help or hope?

Thanks

Fishmanpa

30-10-15, 11:37

Your CBT guy is spot on. It takes work and you're making progress. Use one of your CBT techniques and make a list of the positives you've gained vs. the negatives left. Keep on keeping on and you'll get there.

Positive thoughts

Randara

30-10-15, 11:46

Hi Floods,

I have this fear, it was something that I thought about every now and again but nothing came of it. Then I had my first panic attack which for various reasons was very traumatic (16 hour panic, going to hospital and being admitted for testing). Since then I have had a very intense fear of dying, I suppose the first panic attack reminded me of my mortality - but then again thinking you're going to die for 16 hours straight is probably going to do that!

I guess I am starting to get better, I'm able to sleep a lot better than I used to and am challenging myself to do things that I may avoid usually (going on public transport particularly).

I've recently started CBT too, and am hoping that I will get better at challenging my thoughts and getting myself to a place where these thoughts don't occur so frequently.

Sorry in not able to provide much reassurance but just know that you're not alone! :)

emily67

30-10-15, 13:36

I do have a fear of dying suddenly.

not death itself- I fear that any moment now may be my last.

it's tough to live with because you have those thoughts constantly going around in your mind... what if this is it?

it's hard

Katiej36

03-11-15, 04:06

GingerFish

03-11-15, 08:19

I have a big fear of death too. I think if I didn't have a fear of death, I wouldn't get panic attacks or at least they would be cut down drastically. I suppose I've had it all my life but the fear grew strong once I started to get panics because let's face it, its hard not to fear death when you feel like you are dying multiple times a day when you have severe panics. My OCD doesn't help with the fear of death either.

mnaha

03-11-15, 09:27

Had it severely on and off most of my life.. I am not sure what the answer to not fearing it is... but I haven't given up.. I think that the fear of death is what causes most anxiety to most people but yes I have struggled with it most of my life.. it gets better and then worse and then better..One day I hope to forget about it and stop letting it control my thoughts. and I wish I could just get rid of fear and say goodbye to it. After all , what good is fear.. what has it gotten any of us. Death will come to all one day whether we worry or not.. With that I hope one day I can stop fearing what will surely happen.

emily67

03-11-15, 11:05

Like Emily67 said, I too have a constant fear of dying. I had it when I was younger.. But it was only short lived, but a recent health scare triggered my anxiety and lead to a couple of really bad panic attacks where I was convinced I was dying. I got my brother to call an ambulance because I was so sure I was going to be a goner. Ever since then I've felt as though I don't have long left, I'm plagued by health anxieties and can't see myself living a long life. It's so horrible feeling this way, Id love to be able to talk about my future and believe in it rather than imagining what my funeral will be like..

i'm so glad i'm not the only person with this fear

on the subject of funerals, I've gone through mine in my head several times- and 1 of the things I really want to do is attend my own funeral, be alive of course, it's just a practice funeral.. so I know that everything I want will be in place, and I can hear what's said about me and everything. it's something that I've been thinking about for a while, and I think the only way to actually make sure everything is in place, is to attend a practice funeral.

---------- Post added at 11:05 ---------- Previous post was at 11:03 ----------

as for your comment on the future, yes. it would be nice to look forward to tomorrow, rather than think.. well, don't get your hopes up I can do anything tomorrow, because, well.. because I might be dead.
not a nice thought

neverends

06-11-15, 23:08

I also have a constant fear of death... It always annoys me because I am only 17 years old, and it's kind of sad because it prevents me from actually living my life. I also currently have depersonalization/derealization disorder. Sometimes I'll just be at school or in the shower and suddenly get this feeling of "why am i here" ""who am i " "where am i" "why do i exist". If you've ever smoked marijuana, know that feeling you get when you can't tell if you're in a dream or not? Imagine that but more subtle and CONSTANT. When I first experienced it I thought I had smoked some bad weed. It's almost like I'm constantly in this dream, like reality is fogged over, almost like my brain has mucus in it and i cant breathe properly. Like I can't wake up. Now, the death anxiety has been with me a while. It used to be only when I was laying in bed and let my mind wander, but now it's constant. I've thought about religion too, but the thing is... neither makes me content. I don't want to not exist, but I also don't want to be in heaven forever? If thst makes any sense. What would we do? We couldn't sleep. We couldn't eat We couldn't make love. We can't feel the ocean on our skin or feel the touch of his lips against ours. All we would do is worship God constantly? Than I start to think if there were a God, why did he make us? Why does even God exist? Why does existence exist? Did God just get bored one day and say "Hey, I feel kinda lonely, ima make some people and trees and hey lets even give some of them anxiety so theylll regret they even exist"??? I just dont understand.... Nothing makes me happy. Nothing makes me content. I cry and cry and when I really think about it about life i feel almost betrayed, like life is so meaningless, like it's a lie. I feel anger. Betrayal. Worry. Sadness. Idont know... I go to church and they say that love of this world and our flesh makes us fear death, Well, of course I love this world. I love it. I love the people. I love him. I love babies. I love the beach. I love music. I love movies. I love pizza, dammit. I dont want it to go away, but at the same time, i dot want it to go on forever. I dont know what I want. I need some Xanax... I wrote about this in an essay for a college course Im taking this year as a senior. My professor said it was disturbing, and the next day when I missed school because I was sick, he called the school and my mom because he had thought I had killed myself. Sometimes I think about that too. The truth is, I want to not exist. I know the thought freaks me out, but in the end, there will be no thoughts. I just want the pain to go away. Theres nothing else left. No remedy, no secret words a "professional" can tell you to make all of your problems go away. Theres only one solution. Well, i know this was long, but if theres anyone else who has these fear, just know you're not alone. I pray to god this is a phase. I cant live like this much longer. Im sorry you have to exist.