Anyone else repeatedly analyse their childhood?

[theharvestmouse]

When I had therapy a few years ago I was asked questions about my childhood. At the time I just said that I had a great childhood up to my teenage years and couldn't think of any reasons for why I had turned out like I have done (social anxiety problems/ general anxiety)

But having not got much better and still thinking about my problems on a daily basis I think a lot about my childhood and certain events that may have affected me more than I thought.

These aren't anything dramatic or serious but just little things that I remember to this day that may be reasons for why I went on to grow up like I did.

One example is I have always been very shy, and I vividly remember someone we knew saying hello to me, and I looked at the floor embarrassed. I must have been about 7 years old. Then my dad would repeatedly tease me about that for ages after.

Another memory that I have never forgotten is from a similar age, I got a valentines card from a girl at school, I had it in my school bag and my dad found it when I got home. Again he teased me so much over it, and I felt so embarrassed, almost as though I had done something wrong. I think maybe that left a lasting impression on me as growing up I never ever would dare mention girls or show that I had an attraction to them.

Maybe I'm over analysing this now, but I have always been convinced that a lot of my problems are due to my parents. I would never say that to them but when you end up in a depressed state not feeling like you will ever overcome anxiety problems you start to think about why this happened and what contributed to it.

Can small memories like this affect us growing up?

[mikey2695]

Yes! Same issue here! And it definitely does have something to do with my illness. You're not the only one.

[Pipkin]

THM,

I guess you've hit on the big question that we've all thought about at some point: what caused our anxiety? Is it genetic, something to do with our childhood experiences or something else? Probably a bit of lots of different factors.

I can relate to what you're saying as I have a whole load of similar experiences but I always assumed that everyone did and that it's part of growing up. I can remember being teased for all sorts of things, especially because I was always too bookish for my dad's liking, and singled out at school for various reasons. The problem is that I can also remember being anxious from a very young age before any of that happened. I have no idea which came first.

From a personal perspective, I try not to dwell on this as there's no real answer and I don't find that it helps me. Looking forward is better for me rather than trying to find a cause. Perhaps that's wrong but it's just the way I approach it.

Pip

[Rennie1989]

After doing a counselling course I can say that yes, what happens in childhood has a MASSIVE affect on us later on it life. We are very versatile when we are children and we learn so much. Many issues like anxiety, depression, shyness and destructive behaviours come from how we were treated and what we witnessed as children. In saying that, that is variable.

[ricardo]

Abandoned at birth, adopted at 6 weeks , met my birth mother at the age of 37 and my birth father the same year, gave me a lot of reflections about my childhood and how grateful I was to be adopted by two loving parents .Only downside was to be an only child, but it was a different world at a different pace in those days.

[emily67]

I can't remember a time when I wasn't anxious.

even when I was a kid, the thought of going outside, of bbq's, playing on a playground, any of it.. I hid in the corner.

I had a swing in the garden and a se saw.

never used them

I think also part of my anxiety comes from the fact that my parents chose to reject me and shut me out as a person, rather than be supporting and loving

I admit.. I think I really missed ut onm that, even as a kid- feeling loved and wanted and I always look back on it. always.

something that has haunted me ever since

[theharvestmouse]

After doing a counselling course I can say that yes, what happens in childhood has a MASSIVE affect on us later on it life. We are very versatile when we are children and we learn so much. Many issues like anxiety, depression, shyness and destructive behaviours come from how we were treated and what we witnessed as children. In saying that, that is variable.

That's what I have always believed, and still do that a lot of it is down to the way I was brought up and little things like the memories I mentioned. The fact that they stick in my memory must mean that at the time they possibly had some impact to how I developed.

[23tana]

This is the nature versus nurture argument. Probably the way we grow up depends on both. I know that I was hugely affected by incidents in my childhood.

As Pipkin says, I try not to dwell on them. I look forwards from where I am, not backwards as I cannot change the past.