theharvestmouse
30-10-15, 19:03
When I had therapy a few years ago I was asked questions about my childhood. At the time I just said that I had a great childhood up to my teenage years and couldn't think of any reasons for why I had turned out like I have done (social anxiety problems/ general anxiety)
But having not got much better and still thinking about my problems on a daily basis I think a lot about my childhood and certain events that may have affected me more than I thought.
These aren't anything dramatic or serious but just little things that I remember to this day that may be reasons for why I went on to grow up like I did.
One example is I have always been very shy, and I vividly remember someone we knew saying hello to me, and I looked at the floor embarrassed. I must have been about 7 years old. Then my dad would repeatedly tease me about that for ages after.
Another memory that I have never forgotten is from a similar age, I got a valentines card from a girl at school, I had it in my school bag and my dad found it when I got home. Again he teased me so much over it, and I felt so embarrassed, almost as though I had done something wrong. I think maybe that left a lasting impression on me as growing up I never ever would dare mention girls or show that I had an attraction to them.
Maybe I'm over analysing this now, but I have always been convinced that a lot of my problems are due to my parents. I would never say that to them but when you end up in a depressed state not feeling like you will ever overcome anxiety problems you start to think about why this happened and what contributed to it.
Can small memories like this affect us growing up?
But having not got much better and still thinking about my problems on a daily basis I think a lot about my childhood and certain events that may have affected me more than I thought.
These aren't anything dramatic or serious but just little things that I remember to this day that may be reasons for why I went on to grow up like I did.
One example is I have always been very shy, and I vividly remember someone we knew saying hello to me, and I looked at the floor embarrassed. I must have been about 7 years old. Then my dad would repeatedly tease me about that for ages after.
Another memory that I have never forgotten is from a similar age, I got a valentines card from a girl at school, I had it in my school bag and my dad found it when I got home. Again he teased me so much over it, and I felt so embarrassed, almost as though I had done something wrong. I think maybe that left a lasting impression on me as growing up I never ever would dare mention girls or show that I had an attraction to them.
Maybe I'm over analysing this now, but I have always been convinced that a lot of my problems are due to my parents. I would never say that to them but when you end up in a depressed state not feeling like you will ever overcome anxiety problems you start to think about why this happened and what contributed to it.
Can small memories like this affect us growing up?