Just Feeling Rubbish :(

[Crystalhiggs]

Hello, I usually post about my lack of sleep, but this last few days I have been feeling increasingly anxious.
I went up to my mum's with my son for half term and on the way there my whole body felt tense and uptight. Not in my chest just like it was running through my veins, I'm guessing it was adrenaline.
I love going up there but for some reason this anxiety wouldn't leave me. I didn't sleep for the first 2 nights and felt awful which just made it worse. Then the 4th night I didn't sleep and was glad to come home the next day.
I was fine once home and slept well but yesterday evening this feeling came back and I have it again today. Didn't sleep well last night because of it.
I just want it to go away. My boys have just gone out and I just burst into tears, I want to get back to feeling normal again. :(

[jadedreams]

Hey there, sorry you're feeling this way. I'm in the same boat at moment, Thursday I got real emotional and then yesterday anxiety was way up. went to my sisters crying, she is hanging out with me today for a while. Just want to feel better too, sending hugs to you. :hugs:

Hope we both feel better soon.

[carolineellen]

Sorry your feeling this way. . I hate them days. :weep: sending you love and hugs. . X x

[Crystalhiggs]

Thank you both xx
I actually went out for a walk and felt much better for it, bought some more Halloween decorations and enjoyed putting them up, then went to a party last night which took my mind off it.
Have slept well and woken a bit more positive today. Trying a combination of acceptance (fighting it is too exhausting) and CBT, rationalising my thoughts. Now going to do some headspace mindfulness.
Hope we can all overcome this soon! Xx

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Crystal,

Sorry to hear this.

Yeah, fighting doesn't work with these disorders. Challenging them does and healthy activities like you do but fighting symptoms head on just ends up in more focussing on them rather than trying to get past them. It's tough though, I've always found the physical symptoms a real problem.

I think change & uncertainty are a big problem in these disorders and with you having strong issues about sleep, it could be the anticipation of that and possible insomnia like how it stops you sleeping the more you worry about it.

Hopefully what you are doing now will sort it out for you.

[MrAndy]

You will overcome this crystal but it will take a little time,one day you will look back and think what was that nonsense all about

[Crystalhiggs]

Thanks guys, yes it seems to be a bit of a viscous cycle now with anxiety causing lack of sleep, lack of sleep causing more anxiety. The mindfulness is helping as I haven't been feeling very grounded this week, and it is teaching me that we are all basically ok it is just our thoughts that mess things up! I know this at a basic level but learning more about it is definitely working if only a little bit for now.
I have a lot coming up - 3 lots of visitors in next couple of weeks, more work on house so builders in again and I know that never helps my cause!

Thanks Andy yes I'm sooo looking forward to one day looking back and saying phew, thank goodness that's over! Hope you are both doing well? x

[MyNameIsTerry]

Is any of this weighing on your mind? Those builders last time were a big trigger and it's easy to let those associations start subtly affecting us. It's exposure really, isn't it? So, I know this would have been worrying me because of the memories but I think you have to remember that you are in a stronger position with tools & techniques now.

Certainly anticipation is a hard one to deal with as you need to pass beyond it affecting you much but getting over that hurdle means repetition.

[carolineellen]

Acceptance is a wonderful thing �� once we understand that it is a massive step forward. Keep up the mindfulness too. X x x x

[Crystalhiggs]

Not consciously Terry but probably bubbling away underneath somewhere! I'm trying to take one day at a time but obv have been having to make plans for things so can't really avoid thinking about it totally.

Had a good day so far today, thank you all x