I have officially lost it completely so scared

[GadGirl]

So yesterday after battling a cold/viral infection early in the week and my anxiety being sky high recently I have officially lost it to the point I took my self to a & e last night and said My brains feels weird I am going crazy :( I was actually sitting rocking back and forward in the hospital.

I had the feeling all day that my head just wasn't right my body felt light and I just felt like things were not real what did feel real was me saying that I had officially lost my mind I was loosing touch with reality.

Usual tests and surprisingly my pulse was really low at 89 (that's low for me) blood pressure perfect temp etc.

Just my mind was not the doctor came to see me and asked some questions and said I defo do not have schizophrenia or psychosis.

That this was done to anxiety just its manifesting itself in a different way she said i did seem a bit manic but that's understandable as im under stress.

She said there was nothing they could do and im to go see my GP.. Im sitting here on 3 hours sleep having just forced some scrambled eggs down and Im still the exact same as i was yesterday and really scared that this is me now and iv finally made myself go crazy :wacko: :(

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well, you certainly can't go crazy from anxiety disorders - they just make you feel that way! I remember reading a leaflet about psychosis & schizophrenia from a centre that treats people with those. It was where rhe charity running the anxiety/depression walk-in meetings borrowed a room. The NHS leaflets explained how people suffering such episodes really don't realise it and it's usually others that pursue help for them.

The rocking back & forth is something I have done before. It was because I was just so agitated I couldn't sit still. I had loads of this going onto this current med and I couldn't sit down for hours when I got out of bed as I was so wired from the adrenaline increases and not in a good way.

Try to get some rest. I know it's hard but sleep is so important, even if you just do some dozing to get a power knap.

I would suggest doing something that you would normally enjoy or be able to engage with to see if it grounds you for a bit.

[GadGirl]

Hi Terry thanks for your reply,

I just cant seem to feel normal I am finding it hard to believe that this is just anxiety and its quite refreshing that you said you cant go crazy from anxiety. but it really does feel like it. Sleeping is hard for me at the moment every-time i close my eyes i see random images and just feel panic x

[MyNameIsTerry]

Oh, I know. I was really very bad a few years ago in the year following my relapse. I started a major spike of OCD in many forms. At the height of it I felt like I had no control over my compulsions and my day was just end-to-end compulsions no matter what I was doing. I thought I was losing my mind. Learning about OCD helped me to try to accept it, although it took some time to really make it stick.

There was a thread by another member on the HA board not long ago and his brother was in the middle of a psychotic episode of some kind. He was immediately sectioned (notice the difference to your experience at A&E) and he was just stuck in his episode and couldn't see outside of it. His family brought the doctors in, he had no intention otherwise because to him his behaviour was normal.

You knew it could be anxiety even if it is hard to accept it. He couldn't see anything other than it being nornal to him and this is difference with these more complex disorders. Somebody like that wouldn't be on here talking about, they would be completely absorbed by it.

Can you try to do some techniques that aim to reduce overall anxiety? Maybe some breathing exercises, some exercise, Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) etc?

[GadGirl]

I am trying to do breathing exercises they work for about 10 mins then I get that sense of panic again :(

[MyNameIsTerry]

If you keep doing them throughout your day, it can start bringing your anxiety levels down overall. Thats not a quick process though, but it can happen. At least they help in their short bursts for now though and it's better to keep inserting those breaks than suffering the anxiety all day long.

Do what you can. It's a hard stage to be at but you will get past it. I was a real state and I believe if I got past that, everyone can. My anxiety was 24/7 non stop back then and when the OCD was making me feel like I was losing my mind, I thought I would never escapt it. I thought my life would be like that forever...and I'm in a much better place now.

[dally]

Hi gad girl

When I have had MAJOR panic attacks, I really felt I needed to go to hospital, to be heavily sedated. The terrorising fear of agoraphobia stopped me.
Also I suppose 5% of my logical brain told me it could JUST BE ANXIETY!!
The horrible doom /stomach churning fear lasted for hours and days (even through the books say no more that 10 mins). And the fear that these feelings could go on indefineltly was soul destroying.
So for me agoraphobia stopped me from going to hospital or phoning 999.
And eventually, when I did calm down, as we all do. I was glad I hadn't gone to hospital and 'wasted their time'.

actually your story of your 'normal' BP ,pulse, temp. Etc is reassuring to me, and I have read it many times on NMP by OP.

It confirms that when WE think we are dying or are seriously ill, our bodies are totally fine!!
If only we could convince our brains of that!!

[GadGirl]

I just had never felt that feeling before of feeling totally detached from the world and have it continue on all day.

With my general anxiety its always the feeling scared, fast heart rate etc etc.

So to have a total new kind of feeling was terrifying .. I still feel the same today.

My anxiety only ever used to be in burts etc I would calm down but the last wee while it has been 24/7 symptoms and I am just really terrified :weep:

[dally]

It is a scary feeling. But. At least you know your vital recordings are all OK.
You are doing the right thing by eating little and often and perhaps try a short walk outside and try to focus your mind on Nature or outdoor sounds etc

[GadGirl]

Thats the bonus that medically nothing is wrong with me :)

Just need to try and fix my brain I guess. I need to get juice as I have none in the house so need to prepare myself to walk across the road and get some.

[Pepperpot]

Hello :)
It's awful when your symptoms change cos it's insettling and makes you think there's something wrong with you, but actually it's a good thing in a way cos it show you that's there's nothing seriously wrong with you if a symptom such as chest pains suddenly stops and you get pins and needles say, instead.
You're probably run down/over stressed and need to just charge your batteries a bit. I found that the progressive muscle relaxation helped when I was too panicky to sleep. And Terry is definitely right; if you were losing your mind then you wouldn't know it. X

[GingerFish]

The exact same thing happened to me last week! I had a cold and I didn't feel right mentally or physically and the night before this happened, I got pretty much no sleep and my anxiety in general gets worse when I don't sleep and I reached breaking point and I was saying to my bf that I need sectioned because I can't deal with this anxiety, ocd and panics and he tried to calm me down but nothing would and then I called NHS 24 at around 5am and explained to them I think I'm taking a nervous breakdown and they were great. They reassured me that it was probably just my anxiety being heightened by lack of sleep, the cold and the fact I've been through a lot of stress lately too before that.

I went to see my GP later on that day despite still not haven't slept and she confirmed I'm not going crazy and that my heart rate, lungs, pulse etc were all fine and she put it down to anxiety and gave me an urgent referral to a psychologist.

This happened last Wednesday and I'm still not 100% better from it but a lot better than I was. I was terrified. I can't explain that anxiety I felt that night. I didn't feel safe in my own body, my own mind, my own home. I never want to go through that again. Its made me dread night time now as that night felt never ending.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Things get on top of us and we feel like we can't cope, Gingerfish. I think you need to think about all the progress you have been making too. I've been down the breakdown road and it's just all negative and downhill, not with all the positive steps you have been taking.

Sectioning is about when you are at risk of harming yourself or others or if you can't look after yourself or are in episodes where you can't make decisions for yourself due to mental impairment e.g. psychosis, delusion, etc. I know how would be feeling because I've been there too and felt the same but I just kept going as really I knew those processes were for people in a worse condition than I was.

These disorders can get to fever pitch and you feel like you are losing your mind but you won't. Sometimes they just get too much to take and we don't think we can cope with any more, but you will come through it and it will subside.

Get some rest and do something to make you feel better about yourself. Improving your mood can help return some mental strength to get through it. How about reading some of the Claire Weekes books you like?

:hugs:

[GingerFish]

Things get on top of us and we feel like we can't cope, Gingerfish. I think you need to think about all the progress you have been making too. I've been down the breakdown road and it's just all negative and downhill, not with all the positive steps you have been taking.

Sectioning is about when you are at risk of harming yourself or others or if you can't look after yourself or are in episodes where you can't make decisions for yourself due to mental impairment e.g. psychosis, delusion, etc. I know how would be feeling because I've been there too and felt the same but I just kept going as really I knew those processes were for people in a worse condition than I was.

These disorders can get to fever pitch and you feel like you are losing your mind but you won't. Sometimes they just get too much to take and we don't think we can cope with any more, but you will come through it and it will subside.

Get some rest and do something to make you feel better about yourself. Improving your mood can help return some mental strength to get through it. How about reading some of the Claire Weekes books you like?

:hugs:

Thanks for the reply, Terry. It made me feel a lot better :) you always seem to know what to say to help people not only feel better but to put them on the right track back to recovery.

OP, I hope you're feeling better today, if you ever want to talk, just drop me a mail. My inbox is open any time :):hugs:

[MyNameIsTerry]

Lack of sleep was always a big problem for me too. It can still bother me but not as much now because I went through a period of not getting anywhere near enough because my OCD made me stay up later & later. It taught me that I could pull myself out if it after feeling rough initially whereas years ago it had a major impact on my anxiety as I felt trapped into forcing myself through the day.

Getting over a recent illness is also going to have left your immune system a bit battered and in need of rebuilding itself. Remember how you felt better for eating more fruit? Perhaps get some nutritious food and it will help ease some of your symptoms? We often don't realise how important all those vitamins & minerals are. We burn through them quicker and need more when we have anxiety plus many of them are needed in production of our neurotransmitters which I don't think we tend to think about e.g. Not enough of some things can mean we aren't providing enough building blocks for the ones that help to calm us down, remain positive or increase our resilience.

Thanks, I really appreciate the kind words. I'm glad if I can say something that may just help even a little , these disorders can be such a lonely place to us even when we are surrounded.