struggling tonight

[cassie1975]

I am back again with my negative thoughts. I have not slept for three days and its starting to take its toll. I have been battling with the thoughts that I have exposed my daughter to Asbestos!! My husband and his friend took Artex off two chimney breasts in the living area. My husband said he used water spray but I am concerned about the fibres in the air. This was in our old house around eight years ago. I was directed toward an article that was published a few years ago by a journalist for the telegraph. ( It stated that Asbestos contain materials did not pose health risks ) I settled down when I read it, I even spoke to my G.P about my concerns. She said it would be very low risk, but in my head I have given my daughter a life sentence! I am just having a hard time at the moment, my G.P has put me back on propranolol. I have looked on NHS choices and the HSE but all I can see is doom!

---------- Post added at 03:39 ---------- Previous post was at 03:37 ----------

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/1525683/Christopher-Bookers-notebook.html

This is the article

---------- Post added at 06:36 ---------- Previous post was at 03:39 ----------

Hi can anyone help? My anxiety is sky high, I haven't felt like this in such a long time x x

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Cassie,

I think you will be focussing on the more scary parts of articles by such as NHS Choices but really the bits that matter most are:

Asbestosis is a chronic (long-term) lung condition caused by prolonged exposure to asbestos.

When the dust is breathed in, the asbestos fibres enter the lungs and can gradually damage them over time. For asbestosis to develop, prolonged exposure to relatively high numbers of the fibres is necessary. However, it is not the only factor, as many people avoid getting asbestosis, despite heavy exposure.

They even make a point of saying the following about people who actually do go on to experience Asbestosis by saying:

but in many cases the condition progresses very slowly or not at all.

And bare in mind that is added to the previous points above about prolonged exposure.

Plus the following:

Asbestosis is a relatively rare condition, because it takes a considerable degree of asbestos exposure to cause it, and regulations to restrict exposure have been in place for many years.

They stopped all imported of the blue in 1970 and although both blue & brown weren't banned until 1985, the industry themselves brought in voluntary bans many years before this.

White, what is typically found in houses, wasn't banned until 1999. This is quite a long time after the others. Could this be because it was nowhere near as dangerous anyway? If they suspected it to likely cause as many problem, surely they would have banned it 14 years before when they banned the two main problem types?

Do you see what I mean? Challenge your anxiety & negative thinking with these facts. Challenge it will rationalisation in the fact the industry & government saw white as not an issue as compared to the others AND the fact that those banned types were the ones that are the real danger. Use the requirement of prolonged exposure to challenge it i.e. it wasn't long enough to constitute this.

You will be having a load of "what if's" going around in your head. Challenge these with positive "what ifs". For instance:

Negative
What if my child breathed in asbestos fibres and will become ill later in life?

Positives (always use 3-5)
What is my child didn't?
What if my child is perfectly healthy?
What if my child will live a long & healthy life?
What if the level of exposure wasn't even enough anyway?

Look towards ways of challenging the negative views you will have of yourself right now. You are probably berating yourself for being a bad mother. But is this really true? Isn't a bad mother someone who knowingly exposes their child to these risks? Whereas from your reaction to the mere possibility it is clear that you would have had her as far away as possible? Isn't that a good mother? What about all the other things you do out of love for your child? So, challenge the negatives your thinking is experiencing about your role in this with all those good things that you do.

If there is a reason for the recent spike, try to remove it if you can if it's some form of stress. Otherwise, do things to bring down your overall anxiety levels whether that is some exercise, something you can engage with e.g. reading or craft work, or maybe some relaxation exercises & breathing exercises, etc. These can help because obsessive thinking seems to spike when overall anxiety levels increase, or it certainly seems to for people like myself with OCD.

[cassie1975]

My name is Terry, thank you so much for the reply.
I am not sure what's going on. I had the results of my biopsy yesterday they were normal. I have no idea what's triggered it. I love my child unconditionally and the overwhelming thought of having exposed her is indescribable. I knew I should have stayed off the websites but thought it would ease my mind. The doctor has put me back on propanalol, I was struggling with the physical effects of panic and because my body was reacting to my thoughts I could not calm down. Not sleeping isn't helping. I went to the gym yesterday as well. I am struggling to concentrate on anything else because if my constant negative thoughts. P's did you read the article? It makes an interesting read but because they haven't change the law I think that is making me paranoid as well

---------- Post added at 10:20 ---------- Previous post was at 09:20 ----------

My name is Terry, thank you so much for the reply.
I am not sure what's going on. I had the results of my biopsy yesterday they were normal. I have no idea what's triggered it. I love my child unconditionally and the overwhelming thought of having exposed her is indescribable. I knew I should have stayed off the websites but thought it would ease my mind. The doctor has put me back on propanalol, I was struggling with the physical effects of panic and because my body was reacting to my thoughts I could not calm down. Not sleeping isn't helping. I went to the gym yesterday as well. I am struggling to concentrate on anything else because if my constant negative thoughts. P's did you read the article? It makes an interesting read but because they haven't change the law I think that is making me paranoid as well

[emily67]

cassie1975,

hope you get to feeling better

all of us are here for you anytime x

[cassie1975]

Thanks Emily67, I have managed to get some sleep buy contemplating going back to the doctors and asking to be put back on meds. I hate feeling like this. Thanks again

---------- Post added at 06:49 ---------- Previous post was at 06:48 ----------

*but

[MyNameIsTerry]

If you have been worrying about recieving those results, it could the reason perhaps?

Thats an interesting article and so is the 2011 one he has produced 5 years later. What I found interesting were the studies that showed levels of white asbestos as so low as to be insignificant and there are even studies of schools where teachers were exposed that show no further likelihood of death from asbestos related diseases than any other member of the public - that is pretty significant in my opinion.

Have you read the 2011 one that is linked on that page?

Given the HSC recommendation based on the HSL study, it seems like a lot of people are making a lot of money out of a fictional scenario i.e. white asbestos in houses is too insignificant to need specialist removal.

So, if you apply that to the work your husband did, Cassie, how could it be an issue for you when the levels even in houses are not even enough to lead to what you fear?

[emily67]

Thanks Emily67, I have managed to get some sleep buy contemplating going back to the doctors and asking to be put back on meds. I hate feeling like this. Thanks again

---------- Post added at 06:49 ---------- Previous post was at 06:48 ----------

*but



but nothing.

you'll be fine.

x

[cassie1975]

My name is Terry, I am trying to think positively and working towards challenging my thoughts. My physical symptoms have taken over and that's why I am struggling. I have read the article but as with many anxiety conditions i am struggling with the reassurance. I will continue to use mindfulness and exercise and hopefully my thoughts will subside. I love my daughter more than life itself and want to enjoy watching her grow into a gorgeous young lady. All I ever wanted for my daughter was a Happy life. I am grateful every day for her. We never thought we would be able to have children (husband has a fertility issue). I only have one child and I feel very blessed every day for her. Thank you for the replies mynameis Terry and Emily67. It does make a world of difference when you can share on here and not be ridiculed.

Many thanks x x

[cassie1975]

Well I am back on citalopram!! Can't seem to shift this feeling of dread. I wish I could turn back the clock and start again. I feel a normal person would have checked first, instead because it was just knocked off the wall. I think it released fibres into our house and my daughter has breathed them in. I hate anxiety and feel like the worst mother in the world. I hope this gets better with the meds because I cannot see any positives at the moment!! Thanks for the replies just wish it would sink in!!

[SmithsFan]

Hi Cassie,

I read your original post and it reminded me of something I experienced just after my son was born last year. I was running his bath and the water was cold so i boiled the kettle and added a little to it (don't worry he wasn't in it at the time) to try and reach the optimum temperature. I poured this straight on to the baby thermometer, which broke it.

I began panicking about mercury poisoning and after five minutes of googling I was convinced mercury was filling the house and was rolling around the floor screaming that I'd killed us all.

My wife, though bricking it herself, talked me through the panic and together we did the research that showed mercury had been banned in baby thermometers in EU countries for years. But still I couldn't relax. What if the UK opted out of that particular piece of legislation, I asked, berating Eurosceptics MPs and displaying a lack of understanding of EU law to match my ignorance of chemistry. Eventually we got through it.

I know our situations are not identical and you'll see from my post count that I am a newcomer here and am in no way an expert. The reason I'm posting this is to hopefully show how people like us react similarly when we feel we've harmed the people we care about the most. My anxiety has gotten many times worse since my son was born and I regularly wake up in the night in a cold sweat (which I have at various times attributed to diabetes, MS and a heart condition), have nightmares about my son's health and spend much of our time together prodding and rolling a glass over every little blemish because I am so terrified of meningitis.

Again, i'm not qualified to say why you've reacted the way you have but it seems to a layman that it's because you love your daughter so much and are such a good mother.

[cassie1975]

Thanks Smithsfan,

I cant seem to shake the overwhelming dread that I may have unintentionally exposed her. I have spoken to the G.P who said the risk was very low, she even told me she would send my husband for a chest X-ray to reassure me, because he did the work. He has had a couple of chest X-rays over the last few years because of Asthma. (they were fine)

My daughter wasn't in the house when they took it off the wall but we were there later on. My brother in law found an article on it that said there was not significant risk to health. I dont even know if it contained Asbestos? I am still finding it hard to believe and have questions that I will never know the answers to unless one of us presents with symptoms!!! its so hard when in this frame of mind. I am staying strong for my daughter who is now 12 but I am finding it hard. I just want to enjoy my life and watch my child grow into a wonderful young lady. x x x

[cassie1975]

Yesterday, I was put back on citalopram and felt like I had failed in my bid to overcome the anxiety without meds. Today after a terrible nights sleep, I recognise that this particular setback just needs a bit of help. I have ended up in that vicious circle of negative thoughts, physical symptoms and believing my thoughts. I just want to thank those who have gone out of their way to reply to my worries x x

[MyNameIsTerry]

I feel a normal person would have checked first, instead because it was just knocked off the wall.

I think you will find that most people wouldn't give it a thought. Artex isn't in that many houses and I don't think a lot of younger people would even know about it unless they have been looking into renovation and come across it. I only really came across it through my work because when it was banned I didn't have a home anyway so probably didn't see the news about it or didn't care enough to remember it.

How about instead of feeling a failure to overcome this without meds you spin it into a positive and say you recognised you needed some assistance? It's not a failure or a weakness, many of us on here are on meds, me included. As we always say, if you had a physical issue would you say the same to yourself because you needed meds and you couldn't heal or treat whatever it was without? No, you wouldn't. The same applies to the mind. You've not sat and suffered, you've tried to tackle it on your own, spoken about it on here, and now you've approached your GP to take the next step. Not approaching your GP when you needed to would be a more negative thing.