Possible Melanoma!?

[somdayillbeok]

Okay, so I've had this what I would assume to be freckle on my left jaw hinge. It's always been kind of dark. But the day before yesterday I noticed that it was darker than normal. I'm not even seeing so much dark brown as I am seeing black.

But this morning I woke up with odd sensation of tingling and itching by my jaw hinge. I thought it was kind of odd, I've never had that before. Then when I was out running errands I was in the sun and felt this almost sharp pain on and in my mole. The mole is swollen, puffy, and out. When the day before it was flat and flush against the surface.

I'm so terrified, I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack. I'm young and 22. I only just recently posted about breast issues. But now I'm completely losing it over this mole. I've begun crying so hard because it's been there for a few years. Like two years.

I'm going to the doctor in the morning, I'm going to beg my doctor for a referral to a dermatologist. I originally wanted to get a few moles, and skin tags removed. But that was right before my breast issues. Now I'm so terrified that this is melanoma. I'm literally shaking here in bed crying and scared. That fact that I can see it and feel it bothers me.

Please, I need reassurance. I'm so scared! I'm praying so hard right now!

[Worrywart528]

I have been in your shoes and let me tell you the mind can play tricks on you. It is very hard to realize this when we are in the midst of a crisis. I think the horror of our disorder is we cannot be reasoned with.

I have moles all over my body. In the spring I was petrified over one on my thigh and forearm. Everyday they appeared to grow or change color. I watched them non stop. I obsessed over them. I noticed what I thought were new moles popping up on my body.

When I finally got to the dermatologist she said do not even show me the spots you are worried about. I am doing a full scan and will let you know if anything looks suspicious. She examined me and said you have some dysplastic nevi... but nothing resembles skin cancer. She then asked me to show me the moles I was concerned about and she said nope all normal.

Since that day I have pretty much forgotten about them and you know what... they have not changed appearance anymore. Every so often I will glimpse at them and say... ohhh they look like the did in the Spring and chuckle.

Nothing will ease your worries...with out disorder our mind needs to work through it... but hearing from someone who experienced the same thing you are experiencing can help.

[somdayillbeok]

Thank you for sharing your experience. It means allot, I'm just so scared about all of this. The fact that it's swollen and black is what bothers me the most. I'm also afraid that I've let it go without care for too long. I'm breaking down it's so bad.

---------- Post added at 08:34 ---------- Previous post was at 07:36 ----------

Okay, so i managed to tie down an appointment with my doctor at 10:30. That's about 3 hours from now. Hyperventilating.

I'm doing my best to stay off Google, and I'm making success on that. But the NMP search engine does not help either... Im almost alone in this situation in a way, I cant find any parts that have what I'm dealing with. It almost makes me scared that this may not be just regular health anxiety, that this could be quite real.

I can feel this stinging sensation inside of it when ever I move. Oh boy. Send positive vibes my way, I need them right about now.

[SW_Pat]

Hey, just wanted to pop in and say while I still get worried about melanoma sometimes, it's not likely you have it at all. About a month ago, I got a mole removed that was not too big, not raised, pretty round... But it was BLACK. I was so scared based on that. Got it removed... I was a bundle of nerves all week. Get the phone call and doc says it could not have been more normal and benign. So just remember, just because it looks odd doesn't mean melanoma. It just means you should get it checked as a precaution. In my case, he said he knew right off the start that it was going to be fine, he just removed it for my sake because he said he could tell that I wouldn't be able to deal with it if he left it. Great doctor. Hope all is well with you!

[somdayillbeok]

So, I went to the doctor..... And embarrassed my self. I have now learned that health anxiety can make you see and physically feel something in high doses. The mole I was referencing to? Was on the wrong side. I panicked so bad that my mind told me it was on the opposite side and in pain. Smh...

However, this freak out is still happening. I've been feeling something drag against my shirt for the past few weeks. It gets snagged on my shirt ask of the time. So it worries me to the point where I can't look and see what it is, I'm too afraid of what I'll see. I'm too afraid that it's still somehow too late. I called my doctor about 5 mins ago and told her that even though she saw nothing that I want an urgent referral to a dermatologist. Because I can't get my anxiety to calm.

I feel so beyond stupid. But yet I'm still beyond scared.

[Fishmanpa]

When you were at the doctor's office, did you ask about getting some help with your anxiety?

Positive thoughts

[somdayillbeok]

When you were at the doctor's office, did you ask about getting some help with your anxiety?

Positive thoughts

I did! She told me that she may just want to change my medication because it seems to not handle the job. I also found that my therapist is going out of network. So now I have to find a new one.

[Fishmanpa]

I did! She told me that she may just want to change my medication because it seems to not handle the job. I also found that my therapist is going out of network. So now I have to find a new one.

Good for you to be pro-active about your treatment. My daughter was on Zoloft and it stopped working for her. It took a couple of tries but her doctor got her a med that's doing the job.

Start the search for a new therapist. Perhaps your doctor can recommend someone?

Positive thoughts

[somdayillbeok]

Good for you to be pro-active about your treatment. My daughter was on Zoloft and it stopped working for her. It took a couple of tries but her doctor got her a med that's doing the job.

Start the search for a new therapist. Perhaps your doctor can recommend someone?

Positive thoughts

My doctor told me that she will find the number to her therapist. She said her therapist helped her with health anxiety years back. I'm happy to get personal recommendations from doctors, makes me feel a more meaningful connection.

---------- Post added at 11:32 ---------- Previous post was at 10:40 ----------

I am still worried though

[somdayillbeok]

It's night time and my anxiety is through the roof. I'm so scared of what's going on with me. I need some reasurence.

[Fishmanpa]

So the fact that what you thought was sinister was totally delusional...

(I have now learned that health anxiety can make you see and physically feel something in high doses. The mole I was referencing to? Was on the wrong side. I panicked so bad that my mind told me it was on the opposite side and in pain. Smh... )

is not enough reassurance?

Positive thoughts

[somdayillbeok]

You know how health anxiety acts, I know how it acts. The fact I still feel something in a completely different location is what drives me insane. My doctor didn't do a full body check on me. I have no clue what's happening with my back.

The reasurence keeps my mind in enough check to get that help.

The fear of that drives me mad, the questions I should have asked that I missed. When I was at the doctor I had that chance to have her look on my back. I blacked out my question when they laughed. So I'm blaming myself in a way.

[Fishmanpa]

This alone is enough reassurance...


You know how health anxiety acts, I know how it acts.

You know it's HA.

Positive thoughts