twtm2002
04-11-15, 21:21
Hi
i have been off the board for a while as I have been incredibly good at managing my anxiety. However, yesterday I had a massage which ended up being more erotic than I had anticipated. To cut a long story short the woman ended up touching my penis for about 10 seconds before I stopped her from getting out of hand. She is an independent masseuse who is fully trained but clearly occasionally offers more. Anyhow, I freaked and stopped it all and we just ended the massage.
Since then my anxiety around HIV has gone bonkers. I know what I feel is guilt and shame from the small incident but for whatever reason I now think I have symptoms of the so called sero conversion disease as well as am running through scenarios of what if this happened or that happened. The truth is I was ill before the massage as had been away and got sick; she did touch my penis but her hand was perfectly normal and not dripping in blood and we stopped almost immediately it began.
Is anyone on here a good expert in HIV or understands transmission routes so can provide some reassurance.
I know the feeling is not a fact and this will pass but I slept terribly last night.
i have been off the board for a while as I have been incredibly good at managing my anxiety. However, yesterday I had a massage which ended up being more erotic than I had anticipated. To cut a long story short the woman ended up touching my penis for about 10 seconds before I stopped her from getting out of hand. She is an independent masseuse who is fully trained but clearly occasionally offers more. Anyhow, I freaked and stopped it all and we just ended the massage.
Since then my anxiety around HIV has gone bonkers. I know what I feel is guilt and shame from the small incident but for whatever reason I now think I have symptoms of the so called sero conversion disease as well as am running through scenarios of what if this happened or that happened. The truth is I was ill before the massage as had been away and got sick; she did touch my penis but her hand was perfectly normal and not dripping in blood and we stopped almost immediately it began.
Is anyone on here a good expert in HIV or understands transmission routes so can provide some reassurance.
I know the feeling is not a fact and this will pass but I slept terribly last night.