Pregnant and scared

[Em.ma]

Hi I'm 20+6 today with a little girl and really worried about an incompetent cervix. I can't shake the thought that I may have one even though I have no real reason to believe that I do. I have suffered badly with anxiety this pregnancy and it seems to be one little thing after another that I worry about with it currently being this. I find it so cruel that the nhs doesn't normally diagnose unless you have a loss as it's not common. I've never had surgery on my cervix so I have no reason to think I have this problem. At 17+4 I had some spotting and freaked out I went to hospital and they found babies heartbeat and checked with a speculum and said my cervix was firmly shut. This bleeding was caused by an orgasm after external masturbation. It lasted for a few wipes and then stopped. I hadn't thought anything of it after hospital said all was fine but i was to embarrassed to tell them what caused the bleeding. Now yesterday I did the same thing and it happened again. I phoned triage who wouldn't see me as the bleeding had stopped and they told me to rest up and only to come in if I started bleeding again, doctors wouldn't refer me to the hospital and my midwife app isn't until the 3rd December and she hasn't returned my voicemail. This also happened at about nine weeks as well and all has been ok so far but I've heard vaginal spotting can be a sign of incompetent cervix. After masturbating I have noticed that it stings for about two wees afterwards and that's it. Baby was still kicking last night and I found heartbeat on Doppler but I'm so scared I just want a scan on my cervix and I can't have one. All scans (dating and anomaly scan have been fine) but I am terrified I will go into premature labour and no one is taking me seriously. I feel so alone and spend every day wondering if today is the day and if my cervix is opening or not. I have a fundal placenta so it's not like a low lying placenta is causing the problem. But why is this happening?

---------- Post added at 16:02 ---------- Previous post was at 16:01 ----------

Had a hard afternoon and been in fits of tears I'm so scared I'm failing my baby aren't I? All this stress must be having an impact ?

[Em.ma]

Anyone?

[isybelle]

Hi darling

First of all I wanted to say I was exactly like you when I was pregnant

Until the 12 week scan I was convinced there would be no heartbeat
Then I was convinced they would find Down's syndrome
Then I was convinced they would find an anomaly at the 20 week scan
Then I was convinced I would have an incompetent cervix (like you I had no reason to think this)
Then it was premature labour

I wouldn't buy anything for the baby until after 30 weeks I was so convinced I would not get to bring my baby home

Amid all of this my retina detached and I believed I would go blind and never see my baby.
I didn't eat, or sleep and I cried for months

I was certain I would be damaging my baby with all the stress

Fast forward 4 years I have a healthy, happy, strong and clever little boy who has not been damaged in anyway

Ante natal depression and anxiety is extremely common.
See your GP they can give you something to help

Xx

[Hopefulmi]

Hi Emma,

You almost mirror me right now.

I am constantly convinced my membranes have ruptured. Its really weird I just logged on and saw this post in fact.

In my first pregnancy, they told me at 20 weeks I had ruptured my membranes. My fluid was low. I would need a termination but as time went on, it transpired I hadn't. My daughter had a rare genetic kidney disease which resulted in there being no fluid (both my husband and I carry a mutation). We lost her at 2 days old. Anyway, it traumatised me because with my son, even though we knew he didn't have the disease, I was constantly convinced I was leaking. At the end of my girl's pregnancy, I was always so wet but it was discharge. So by the time it came to the end of my sons, I thought much the same, except that time it WAS fluid, and my sac had be ruptured for 4 days. Luckily, I had no infection, he was delivered at 37.5 weeks and is now 3.

So, obviously, I now with this healthy child, have some sort of health anxiety PTSD over amniotic fluid. I was worried the week before my 20 week scan, they did a speculum etc and saw nothing but I was convinced. Scan showed LOADS of fluid. I settled a bit but now am exactly the same (currently 21 weeks and 1 day). I wipe myself until I am so dry it is sore. Any moisture freaks me out. There is never enough to even touch a panty liner and I think even a trickle would damp a panty liner, but the cycle continues anyway. I even feel fluid running down when there is nothing there.

When we use forums, even though they can be useful, we see a lot of scary posts because women who have been through that gravitate to forums to find women in the same situation. Preterm labour is only 2% of the time, as is ruptured membranes etc. But you will continue to be scared, because you are like me.

I have also bled in this pregnancy, all brown but I did have a CVS. Baby kicks loads and seems happy. My bump is huge. All seems well. Your cervix has lots of capillaries which can just burst a bit after sex and masturbation.

If you want to talk, please do get in touch via inbox because we have so much in common xxx