View Full Version : Going out tonight.........
......and I am terrified.
I have been out a few times but only to restaurants or pubs with close friends.
Tonight I have agreed to go to my squash club and have a few drinks in the bar. I know that a couple of close friends will be there but I have no idea who else. I havent been there since last November after having a v bad panic attack on the squash court. Am still too scared to go on a court but thought this may help. Had a CBT session and therapist agreed, in fact enthused so I dont want to let or me down BUT have about 100 "what ifs" going through my mind!
What if people start asking me where I have been?
What if they all know I have been off sick and start asking questions about that?
What do I say if they ask why I havent played squash despite paying full membership that someone else could have had? (numbers are limited)
What if I panic?
ETC ETC
Hopefully my friends will have had a quiet word but they cant predict who will come in once I am there.
I know this sounds ridiculous and I wish I wasnt like this.
However am determined to go even if I only last 10 mins.
Oh well, better go and get ready. Got butterflies already.
Sue
You never know you might have a great time.
A change of scene and a good gossip might even do you the world of good.
You never know how well it is going to go until you give it a try.
Good luck hun, and have a great time.
Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.
[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'
hi there Sue,
It's always hard going back to places where we've had a panic attack!! I've had to do that many times. It's good that some of your close friends will be there as I'm sure they will look out for you!! Good luck - let us know how it goes.
Sarah :D
Hi Sue
If people start asking too many questions you're not obliged to tell them everything..you could just say you've had one or too probs so have been unable to go and really they shouldn't interrogate you after that. You'll probably find it won't be at all like you imagine..and you won't be asked all the things you're dreading. Hope you enjoy the evening ..will be thinking of you. I'm going to a pub for a meal with my boyfriend (dreading it too) but i know once i' get in there and settled at a table i'll be fine...like you will be too :)
KW
Thanks everyone!
Am getting really jittery now, could easily back out but not going to.
Will let you know how it goes.
KW-hope you enjoy your meal.
Sue
Hi Sue
Well done you not giving in. Hope you have a good night hon. Let us know how it went?
Love Sal xxxxx
Well I went. Arrived feeling very dizzy and as if my legs wouldnt carry me. I quite often get this and think I am going to fall down, although I never have.
My friends were there and got me a drink and I did calm down a bit. Several people said it was nice to see me and a few asked where I had been. I find it so difficult to try to explain so I just said I hadnt been too well and left it at that.
I stayed about 45 mins and have to say I didnt feel 100% comfortable at any stage and I was so glad to get home.
Still, I guess its a start.
Having said that, I have felt so down today. I think it has made me realise what a long struggle I still have ahead and also what I have been, and still am, missing out on, ie a life.
Thanks for all your encouragement
Rennie1989
18-09-04, 18:36
sue
well done for going there, you've proven yourself that you CAN do it, in the anxiety dictionairy there is no such thing as 'cant'
how are you feeling now
Scooter Girl
if i was hungry would you feed me, if i fell you help me up, if i was crying would you brush away my tears
Thanks Scooter Girl.
I dont feel too good today, just hoping its a blip and will be ok tomorrow.
Going to have night in front of TV. Theres Simon Cowell to look at on the X factor, maybe that will help!!
Hope you are OK.
Sue
hello there Sue,
Well done for going out, even if it was just for a little while!! Often walking out the door can be the most difficult part so I'm sure it took a lot of courage on your behalf!! Even if you were only there for 45 minutes, it's still a start so don't let yourself get too down about it. Chin up and keep up the good work!!
Sarah :D
Well Done. :D
It took a lot of courage for you to go out and you did it. That's Excellent !
Perhaps next time it might not be half so scary as you know what to expect.
Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.
[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'
Caz Fab Pants
18-09-04, 21:45
Sue,
WELL DONE!! I know it must have taken a great deal of inner strength and determination to go and you did it.
I can totally relate to what you said about feeling down however, knowing what you're missing out on and what a long way you have to go. I'm always looking at situations from that angle although I know its pesimistic and I should look on the bright side.
In reality you're right, you do have a way to go before you can say you're living life to the full again but at least you've made a start. You've started to climb the ladder which means you're no longer stuck on the ground. So good for you girl and keep it up.
Caroline :)
x
Merlinssister
19-09-04, 11:13
Well done! You done good!
Hope you're feeling a bit better today.
MS
Thanks everyone, I appreciate your encouragement no end and you are right, it is a start I suppose.
I think I am just letting things get to me a bit at the moment. Now that my work situation is resolved (all be it, job gone!) I think people think I am somehow miraculously cured. I know I need to go out and get a new job but the thought terrifies me and constant questions about my "plan" (which I dont have) are bringing me down.
On top of that, not even being able to go to the squash club without a big wobble has also made me miserable.
I cant get rid of the dizzy feeling in my head despite trying all the usual distraction, breathing etc. I also have a ringing in my ears (not sure if its connected or not?)
Thanks again for all your support, I hope you are all ok and having a good weekend.
Sue
Hi Sue
Well done for going through with it. I went out Fri night and went through the same old thing when i walked in the pub (eveyone is looking at me, god i can't breathe, got to get out of here, can't look at anyone) but once we got to a table and sat down i was ok. I know how you feel though, it's like you beat yourself up afterwards for feeling those things, but you did it and that's the main thing. I watched the X factor lastnight, what did you think to it? I thought it was good this week.
KW
I thought it was good but then I am one of these sad individuals who enjoys any form of reality TV!!
Rennie1989
19-09-04, 14:24
Sue
did you watch x factor, its hularious!!!! that bloke with the long black hair who smelt of BO, discusting!!!
Scooter Girl
if i was hungry would you feed me, if i fell you help me up, if i was crying would you brush away my tears
Hi Sue
You did well going out and every step you make is a positive step to recovery. It is harsh when you realise how much work is ahead of you to get to where you want to be. But you can see that and want it so even though you have days where you feel its too much of a struggle other days will be good one where you feel you are making progress.
Remember there is no time limit and no rush, just go at your pace and you will be fine.
Love Sal xxxxx
Caz Fab Pants
19-09-04, 17:50
Sue,
I'm sad too as I love reality tv!! Big brother got me hooked and then I moved on to things like I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. I also like things like X-factor, How Clean is Your Home and Super Nanny.
Sometimes I wonder what people would make of me if my life was filmed for a week or so!!??
Jade - I saw B.O. bloke, he was weird!!
Caroline :)
x
Super Nanny? Think this must be one that has slipped through my net, will have to investigate.
Yes Jade, BO man was horrendous!!
nomorepanic
19-09-04, 19:09
Hi Sue
Well done for going out. That was probably the hardest meet-up as people were going to ask where you had been etc. The next time will now be a lot easier as you have now faced them so there won't be that awkwardness to face next time.
Please try and do it again soon so that you can build the confidence up.
I am sure you will get there Sue, just stick at it ok?
Nicola
Thank you Nicola, I know you are right.
Trouble is, next time there could be a whole different set of people there.
I just wish I could get somewhere near "normal" again. I used to spend half my life in that place without giving it a second thought.
Maybe will try again next weekend.
Sue
Sue,
Nic is right. Its a case of little nad often . Try popping in briefly during the week just to refamiliarize yourself with the place as well as going at weekends .
Meg
It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.
I know you are both right and I had really hoped that doing it once would really help with the next attempt but I feel just as nervous.
The problem with week nights is that I cant guarantee that a close friend would be there and I really dont think I could face it alone.
Will keep trying.
Sue
You will feel just a s nervous anticipatory anxiety but it will be better once you're there .
In the week just pop by and stay there for a few minutes. Don't have to go to the bar or anything .- the loo in the changing room will do to start with ...
Yes OK, I suppose as I am not at work at the moment I could have a go during the day when it would be much quieter.
Thanks, will let you know.
nomorepanic
20-09-04, 20:21
Sue
Sometimes just going to a place helps us gain confidence.
Just wander around a bit and see how it feels. At least you don't have to stay cos no-one is with you.
We are behind you all the way and are only pushing you cos we think it will help. At the end of the day you must do things in your own time and we will never think you are failure if you can't do it ok?
Good luck - we will be thinking of you.
Nicola
Every morning I make myself go out in my car and see how far I can get. This morning didnt feel too bad, went 6 miles and so on the way back decided I would call in to squash club.
Was reading the notice board not feeling too bad at all. Decided to take a look at the ladder (which is a ranking list of players 1-50) to see how far I had slipped during the time I have not been playing. Was around no. 5 or 6 last time I looked. Looked all down the list, name not there at all. Now I know there is no way I could have dropped off the bottom naturally in that time so someone must have decided to remove me.
I am probably really over reacting but I cant tell you how much this has upset me. Stood there feeling close to tears and near to panic. To make matters worse, the club secretary then came up to try and talk to me, asked where I had been etc. Couldnt talk or would have blubbed in her face!
So came home and have spent rest of day tearful and feeling very sorry for myself. Thinking about all I have lost over the last year which is just about everything.
Now feeling exhausted and not sure what to do.
I do know the only way to overcome all this is to keep trying but its so hard.
Merlinssister
21-09-04, 15:11
Hey Sue,
I'm sorry you've had such a rough day. Just keep telling yourself that whatever happened in the club wasn't a comment on you as a person. You are doing great and have had a lot to cope with. Be kind to yourself.
MS
Hi Sue ,
First of all - well done for going and I'm pleased you found it out whilst there briefly rather than having someone tell you or when you were there for the evening .
Isn't it based on a rolling league ladder where you have to be in it regularly to keep on it .
If you think you have been wrongly taken off you might want to ring the secretary and ask her how that happened or ask one of your friends to investigate the situation.
It is so hard but you will get there and not so slowly now you are helping yourself so well .
Meg
It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.
Yes I am glad I didnt notice the other night, that would have been much worse.
It isnt a rolling league, we do have those and I came out of that a long while ago.
I dont really know why its happened and you probably think I am making a fuss over nothing, even I can see that I possibly over reacted a bit. It just feels like every time I go forward a bit, something else happens.
I cant be bothered to phone the secretary, never have been one for making a fuss!
Just wish someone could have called me to explain before just taking me off. I have devoted so much time to them over the years, playing for the team, coaching the junior teams etc etc. It doesnt take much time to make a quick call. Suppose I more hurt than anything else.
Am feeling bit calmer now and will be out in the car again in the morning.
Thanks for all your support.
Sue
Hi Sue
Can see how you feel would have been nicer for someone to tell you, but how many times do people bail out of that repsonsibility. Dont take it personally but many people find it so hard.
You are doing well going out in the car and you did well going out the other nite. Like i said small steps in the end make major achievements. You are trying and that is the best remedy anyone could ask for.
Well done mate.
Love Sal xxxxx
Thanks, had a better day today.
Went out in car this morning, another 6 miles and then managed to go to Sainsburys for a few things so was quite pleased with that.
When I got home, my pay slip had arrived with my redundancy pay out on it so at least I have a bit of money now, although I dont want to squander it just on living so need to think about job (oh god, you have to go out for long time to have a job!!)
Well its a week since I made this post and I thank you all very much for your encouragement and kind words.
Now, I have only gone and agreed to go again tonight!
Not feeling too bad yet but still couple of hours to go.
Am going to ignore the ranking list and not let on that I have noticed.
Will let you know how it goes.
Sue
Good for you -= have a good time
Meg
It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.
Hi Sue
Well done you for going out. Its another step in the right direction.
Hope it does well and you enjoy the night.
Good luck.
Love Sal xxxxx
Well I went and I think it was a little easier than last week. Stayed about an hour and didnt face too many questions.
Trouble is, woke up this morning and promptly had major PA which has left me feeling totally wiped out for the day.
Did have 3 glasses of wine while I was there so wonder if this contributed?? Also have a friend in hospital who I have been worrying about so not sure.
Still managed to go out in car but only 2 miles today.
nomorepanic
25-09-04, 17:30
Hi Sue
Sorry to hear about the league tables thing and pleased that you have decided to put it all behind you.
How was the night out - was it any easier this time?
Nicola
nomorepanic
25-09-04, 17:34
Hi Sue
You must have been posting the same time I was.
Great news about last night and I am pleased that it was easier this week. Proves that with time it will get better and easier.
Hey you did well today cos even with the PA this morning you still managed to get out and go 2 miles. That is better than nothing isn't it?
Keep smiling ok?
Nicola
Yes it is.....I am trying to be positive.
Hopefully a good nights sleep will see me right. I never feel "right" after a PA til the next day. It leaves me feeling excessively tired with stinging eyes and slightly blurry vision, is this normal?
Thanks for your support
Sue
Yes totally normal !!
Meg
nomorepanic
25-09-04, 18:04
Sue
When I had my minor blip the other day crossing the bridge I felt wiped out for the next day too.
I too had the blurry vision and that is why I was freaked out on the motorway cos I couldn't see properly.
It goes once you calm down.
A normal symptom I am afraid.
Hope you feel better tomorrow.
Nicola
Thank you both.
Nicola, I understand that totally, I think that is one of the main reasons for my fear of driving. If I panic, Cant see or breathe! Its a good job other motorists are not aware! Perhaps we should have some sort of sticker like the "Baby on Board" ones!
"Panicker on board" Maybe this could be the answer to my new career!!
Have a good evening.
Sue
Hi Sue
Well done for going out and staying out for a while. Sorry to hear you had a panic attack although i doubt it was related, but you still pushed yourself today.
You have achieved a lot and you should be proud of what you have done.
Well done you for last night and even feeling a bit unstable today you still went out.
Love Sal xxxxx
Hiya Sue
Good to hear that you went out the other night and even managed to drive a couple of miles after having a PA [^] I always feel lousy the day after, I think its perfectly normal to feel a bit shaky afterwards.
Give yourself a big pat on the back, you are doing really, really well :D
Best wishes, Jo xx
p.s. I always feel a bit 'iffy' the day after I've had a couple of glasses of wine. I never drink that much (3 - 4 glasses max) but never sleep properly afterwards and feel really anxious the next day.
Jo x
Thanks, I was out with a friend again last night, we went to a restaurant and while a bit shaky until we had a table sorted, I was fine after that. I seem to be able to handle a one to one outing much better. Plus, it was an extremely close friend which helps.
Jo, I had another 3-4 glasses of wine last night and had an awful nights sleep! I have recently cut right back on the wine front so maybe two days in a row was not a good idea!
No panic today but extremely tired, cant wait to get to bed! Definately not out tonight!!
Still drove this morning, six miles!!!!!!
Sue
nomorepanic
26-09-04, 18:10
Sue
Wow out again huh? You are getting good at this aren't you.
Glad you had a good time.
Alcohol tends to make you fall asleep but it is a disturbed sleep isn't it?
I am looking forward to bed tonight but not looking forward to work tomorrow. Boo!!
Nicola
Getting so good that I have now arranged to meet a friend in Marlow (about 5 miles each way) for lunch on Wednesday. I have not done 10 miles alone since I can remember. Trying to look at it as two 5 mile trips as there will be a gap in the middle!
Have a session with CBT therapist tomorrow so we are going there together to be sure I know exactly where it is/ if there are any roadworks etc etc so fingers crossed!
Hope work is ok tomorrow (makes me feel v guilty), will have to sort it out very soon.
By the way, was it you that works at Luton airport? Seem to remember reading something sometime that you did. The job that I couldnt get to was based at Capability Green, Luton which as you know (if I have got right person!) is the business park that overlooks the airport!
Small world!
Sue
nomorepanic
26-09-04, 19:05
Sue
That will be a great challenge for you so good luck!
Don't feel guilty about work - you will get there soon won't you?
I do work at Luton Airport yeah. I am now based at the Britannia Flight Training Centre that is set back off the road that runs round the back of the airport. Before we moved there we were in an office that overlooked the apron so it was quite noisy but we could sit and watch everyone going off on holiday!
We could have been neighbours if you got to the job lol.
I hope tomorrow goes ok?
Nicola
Overlooked the apron??!!
Our office overlooked the apron too and yes it was very noisy!
Yes, I am going to give the job situation some thought this week. REally need something however menial to tide me over, if Im honest , I am really scared of facing it.
Will let you know how tomorrow goes, am getting nervous already.
Hope the apron is OK tomorrow!
Sue
Merlinssister
26-09-04, 20:01
Good luck Sue! I'm sure you will do fantastically. :D
Hi Sue,
[Wow!] you are doing so well!! You should be well proud of yourself that you are going out and managing so well. It's great that now that you have done it, you are making arrangements to do it again so your confidence is obviously growing. Well done!!
Sarah :D
Hi Sue
Im really proud of you reading these posts. You are doing really well hon.
The more you do it, the easier it will get so you look like you are definately getting in the practice....good for you!!!!
keep it up
love sarah
xx
Sue ,
Sometime soon you might to think about picking up a racquet again - just for a knock around with a friend
Not a game and not during busy hours .
Meg
It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.
Hi Sue
Pleased you had a good night out, even if you did feel jittery at the start you settled and had a good time.
Pleased you have made more arrangements for Wednesday and i hope it goes well, you will have to let us know how it goes.
Well done for driving to, can see that you are not going to give up.
Love Sal xxxxx
Thanks everyone, things are certainly becoming easier but its a long hard slog, as you all know.
I need your advice on something. Last night the manager from the squash club phoned me. He offered me 15 hours a week work, just taking calls, booking courts and serving drinks. The money is crap but what do you think?
It took completely by surprise but thanked him and said would let him know by Friday.
Ssue
Did trip to Marlow, in fact it was a little further than I thought, 7 miles each way. But didnt find it too bad, there is one large roundabout to get round and have to go through the town centre which can be very busy.
Know I will be really nervous when I do it alone but am going to try.
Think have pretty much decided to give the job a go for a while, therapist certainly seemed to think it would be a good way of easing back slowly.
Not told him yet though, need more worry time!
Sue
nomorepanic
27-09-04, 18:39
Hey great news about the job - go for it!!
Could be the next step you need to getting out there again might it. Could also build your confidence up to getting back on the squash court.
I would take it.
Well done on the drive today as well. You did well.
Nicola
I think the job is a great idea.
Does he already know your circumstances ?
Meg
It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.
Merlinssister
27-09-04, 19:51
Great news on the job and drive. :D
Thanks everyone, think I will go for it for the time being anyway.
Meg, he certainly knows I have been off sick. Not sure what he actually knows about why?
Sue
Done it! Start next Friday (aaargh!!!!!)
Got other things to think about before then, the Marlow trip is now looming and am getting very jittery.
On Friday I am going to Crewe (I live in South Bucks). My brother, sister in law and neice moved there from Dorset several months ago and as yet I havent been able to visit. My neice is 1 on Saturday and I have been invited to the party!
I am going by train, which doesnt worry me too much. The problems will be getting to the station and then from the station th other end. I have lifts arranged both ends but I am terrible in the car with another driver and its about 40 mins from here to Watford junction. Dont feel I can say too much as I am grateful for the lift. I think if its possible, I am worse with someone else driving that it is driving myself. (If this makes any sense?)
Anyway, I have to go now as I have just booked the train tickets! Going Friday, back Monday.
Merlinssister
28-09-04, 19:27
Well done, and good luck for the weekend. I'm sure you will cope really well!
nomorepanic
28-09-04, 19:30
Hey Sue
Congratulations on the job. Great news!
Hey it will be great to see your niece on her 1st birthday party - how lovely that you are going (see - you didn't even say "I might go, I might not" - how positive is that?)
I don't like being a passenger in the car with anyone except Alex. I am a control freak lol. I have to drive myself to feel safe.
I let my mum drive me a few weeks ago (about 3-4 miles) and it was ok but then I trust her to stop if I say I want to get out lol. I don't trust anyone else to do that.
Good luck for the trip.
x
Nicola
I would trust my Mum to drive me but shes already up there!
Trying to just go one day at a time at the moment and it seems to be working. Focusing on the Marlow trip now, hope I will be able to manage some lunch WHEN I get there as stress makes me feel queasy. Could be embarrassing as she has invited me for lunch and has been telling me how wonderful the food is!!
Yes cant wait to see my neice, its been too long.
Will let you know how tomorrow goes.
Caz Fab Pants
28-09-04, 21:31
Sue,
Just read the last few posts on this thread and wanted to wish you the best of luck. I dont think you'll need any luck because although you are a little apprehensive you are actually talking in a very optimistic way.
Let us know how everything goes.
Oh and Nic - SNAP! I'm just the same, I always drive myself and only let Ed drive me to very local places if I have to.
Caroline :)
x
Hi Sue
Well done you mate, you have done so well.
With you all the way.
Love Sal xxxxx
Well I did it!!!!!!
Felt terrible on the way there; shaky, sweating and dizzy. By the time I got to Marlow town centre (which was at a standstill, thanks to a white van man who had decided to just stop so no one could get past!) I was beginning to think I had made a big mistake.
It wasnt worth turning back at this stage as I was nearly there so kept going. Had a nice lunch but must admit the journey back was on my mind.
However, coming back was a lot easier. Not sure why but had a few thoughts;
1) Psychological ie I was on my way home
2) Took a propranalol dose while I was there
3)I had eaten
What do you think?
All thoughts now turn to Friday.
Hi Sue
Well done!! You were probably so much more relaxed on the way home as you knew you were going back to your safety zone. Plus you will have also felt good about what you had achieved.
I am sure working there will make you feel back in the real world and will give you confidence. Money isnt everything, although we all know it helps, but i am sure getting back into a routine and talking to other people and been out and about will help you loads.
Best of luck mate.
Love Sal xxxxx
Not such a great day today. Had bad PA while out driving this morning, had to pull over, didnt want to go again but had little choice as was 2 1/2 miles from home! As usual now feel drained with blurry vision and sore eyes.
On top of this I HAVE to go out tonight as a couple of friends that moved away are coming especially to see me because I told them I could go out again now. I am worried about tomorrows trip up north and dont want a late night. Oh well!
Also, today was officially my last day with my company, although as you know I havent been there for several months. I was really disappointed to not hear a word from any one there at all, despite being loyal to them for 20 years. I wasnt expecting a royal send off or anything, a phone call would have done!
Hope you are all ok.
Sue
nomorepanic
30-09-04, 18:01
Hey Sue
Well done on yesterday. I know how you felt after my trip across the bridge so well done you for coping and doing it. You did great.
Ok so you had a Panic attack today - what did you do afterwards? You carried on. Ok so you say you had no choice but you could have called for a taxi, left the car, called a friend. But you carried on and got home.
Try and get a nice relaxing bath now before you go out tonight - some chill out time and maybe a small glass of wine whilst in the bath.
Sorry no-one called you - they could have at least sent a card with well wishes on it after 20 years! Not nice was it?
Best of luck for tomorrow ok? We will be thinking of you ok?
xxx
Nicola
Thanks Nicola, thats made me feel a little better. Just want to go bed really!
Will try what you suggest, sounds very nice.
Will just have to try and forget my EX employers, perhaps it is best that are Ex now. Not easy though, have worked all around the area for them (I worked for a bank, and paid the price for specialising, hence the job moving away)) and met loads of nice people. Maybe the card is in the post!!?
Better go and take that bath now or I will be asleep.
Have a good weekend,
Sue
Hiya Sue
Just wanted to say well done on the job front and to congratulate you on your progress, you're doing so well right now and even if you are having little setbacks every now and again (we all do) you're picking yourself up and getting on with it [^]
Sorry to hear about your lack of thanks despite working for the company 20 years but hey, its all behind you now and there's plenty for you to look forward to!
Good luck, love Jo xx
Still feeling pretty tired this morning, didnt sleep much.
Got to leave soon so will catch up on monday.
Sue
Well I am back!
Journey up was fine, no problems at all. Train left and arrived where and when it should. Spent Friday afternoon looking around Nantwich with my sister-in-law and neice and felt fine.
saturday was the first birthday party, was a little weary because several people were coming who I didnt know. Some of my sister in laws family, who I have only ever met at their wedding did question me a little and I did feel uncomfortable at times. However, it was all worth it to see my neice on her first birthday, she loved it and she is so cute and happy.
Today coming home has been a nightmare! British Rail were running late due to storms last night?! Missed connection at Milton Keynes, couldnt get hold of neighbour who had offered to pick me up etc etc. Have felt on verge of panic all day but so far have managed to keep it just under control.
Anyway, I did it and thats the main thing. I know it meant a lot to my family as well as myself.
Gearing up for new job starting Friday now! Too tired to think about it tonight though.
Hope you are all ok.
Sue
nomorepanic
04-10-04, 19:30
Hey Sue
So pleased it went well for you. What a big achievement.
You did so well to control the panic today as well so that was fab.
Get some rest now and as you say get ready for the big day on Friday - will be thinking of you.
Nicola
Hi Sue
Well done you.. you got through it and that's the main thing. Now time to have a nice rest.
Kerry x
KW
Hi Sue
Pleased you had a good weekend and you enjoyed it.
I am sure Friday will go just fine for you and we are all here wishing you the best of luck.
Take care.
Love Sal xxxxx
Thanks everyone, I will let you know how it goes!
I have to go at 9am for "training" on friday and am then working from 2.30-6pm
Kept very busy today so not much time to think, will try to do the same tomorrow and Thursday!
Sue
Wow Sue, so pleased the weekend went well and that you managed to celebrate your neice's 1st birthday AND kept your panic under control. Well done you! [^][^]
Jo xx
Well, first day is done and guess what, it wasnt too bad!! This despite of a streaming cold courtesy of my Neice last weekend, feel very rough.
Working again on Monday afternoon so fingers crossed it will continue OK.
I have also enrolled on a college course for one morning per week, start on Tuesday. It about 8 miles away so hope havent made a mistake.
All in all not a bad week (apart from the cold!!)
Just need to win the lottery tomorrow now!
Hope you are all ok.
Sue
PS Nic, got the flyers and there are now some in my GP surgery. ALso gave some to my CBT therapist. She said she would pass on to other patients.
Sue,
I do hope you're making a good note of all these massive progress steps you've made this last few weeks .
You've done so well.
Meg
It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.
Hi Sue
Just wanted to say well done on your progress. You should write them all down so you can see how far you have come!!!
Keep it up!!
love Sarah
xx
Merlinssister
09-10-04, 10:01
Well done Sue. You're doing fantastically and all with a cold as well. :)
MS
Thanks Guys,
I suppose I shoule write it all down, hadnt thought about that.
I feel as if I slipped to the bottom of a really deep ditch and am now just beginning to climb up the other side!
Having said that, havent left the house at all today and dont intend to but that is mainly due to this b***dy cold and very little sleep last night!
Thanks again for all your encouragement and I hope you all have a good weekend-two episodes of X Factor tonight!!
Sue
nomorepanic
09-10-04, 18:34
Hey Sue
Great news on the job - glad you enjoyed it!!
I had that cold all last week - I think it is going round isn't it.
Wrap up warm this weekend and then you will be ready for Monday again.
Great news that you did it and are going back. Well done!
Nicola
I cant quite beleive all I have done in the last week so I thought I would update you;
As you know, worked on Friday. Worked again yesterday (Monday). It was Ok but very quiet and I got a little bored. I thought maybe I would try going on the squash court, so I did and felt fine (although didnt close the door). Then I thought I would try bouncing a ball on racket, again fine. So went on court with racket and ball and spent 15 mins hitting to myself, and I can still do it! I know I didnt shut the door, I hate that trapped feeling but I couldnt really have done anyway because I wouldnt have heard the phone ring. It just felt so good!
Today, I began an 8 week college course. I had to be there by 9.30 (about 8 miles away). Left at 8.45 thinking it would be loads of time but of course it was rush hour. Had to sit in 3 separate queues, was feeling a bit panicky I must admit and at one stage did think of calling up to see if I could cancel as didnt think could face that each week.
Got there with seconds to spare and REALLY enjoyed it! Will not be cancelling.
So all in all a good week so far. On Saturday my best freinds daughter is two and she has invited me up (Milton Keynes, about 30ish miles, one hour). I would love to go as have not been able to get to her house for as long as I can remember and after the last week am thinking it may be possible but dont want anything to spoil this positive streak I seem to be lucky enough to be having at the moment.
am seriously considering it though, what do you reckon??
Sue
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