Still afraid of leukemia, help?

[Eggplant345]

Hi. I have posted multiple times on here about my fear of having leukemia. I was getting better this last week until I self checked my back (bad idea) and I found this spot that looks like a bruise smaller than an pencil eraser on my upper buttocks which I am trying to convince myself is not near my back. My sister who is in medical school says it is probably a spider bite or any time of other bite. It is tiny. Any suggestions?

[Jumbogiraffe]

Doesn't sound like a bruise to me, is it red? And when are you having your blood test? (The sooner the better)

[Eggplant345]

it's not red it is like a dark color with some faded purple and doesn't hurt when i press on it. i have been putting off the blood test because of the fear of what the results would be

[Fishmanpa]

You've had this fear for a couple of years. It's obvious to me that you don't have it just based on the longevity of the fear itself. If indeed you were ill with leukemia, you would be quite ill after 2 years. That and the title of your thread.

Reassurance isn't the answer as it's apparent it doesn't work and in fact for many, it just reinforces the anxiety.

I don;t know if you're on meds or in therapy but gaining a foothold on controlling your anxiety would really be the way to go. Learn some tools to put the irrational thoughts and fears out of your mind. Find ways to distract yourself. Perhaps a hobby or exercise?

Hope you feel better soon!

Positive thoughts

[Jumbogiraffe]

What fmp said ^ I wouldn't worry about it to be honest. Although I completely agree with what fmp said I think getting a blood test would make you feel better. Once that's done just ignore your symptoms and DO NOT self check yourself, you WILL find something that you think is wrong. And I know getting a blood test is down right terrifying but believe me it will be fine and it will knock out your fears of that ca you worry about. It's just best to be strong and keep telling yourself that nothing bad is gonna show up when waiting for the results, this is what I did. That's just my advice. And you had a blood test last year right? That is already a good sign because stuff like this takes a long time to develop.

[Lifelonganxiety!]

Could be a tiny little pinch / bruise? I have one like that on my arm right now. About the size of a pencil eraser and purple. I don't know how it got there, but I assume it's just from one of the many times a day we all bump into things or get a little pinch.

Could be a bite, could just be something you've had for years (how often do you examine your back??). Don't worry about it. Check it again in a few days to see if there's any major changes, but stop prodding and focusing on it.

[daisyflower]

Even if it is a bruise, the chances of it being leukaemia are so extrmemely low. We all get bruises, it's part of being human. If you were covered in them all over your back then I'd be worried but one teeny bruise?

[Eggplant345]

does it really need time to develop? i had in my mind that it developed in this year after my last blood test.

[Jumbogiraffe]

Hoestly yes, most of the time it does take time to develop, if it was that quick people would be getting blood tests every month to check lol. But if you really really want to stop worrying I think you should get a blood test. And like everyone else said if you had like 5 bruises all over your back while not bumping it in anyway for example, then you would have the reason to be worried, even then I don't think in means ca, it would propably mean that you are lacking something in your blood (harmless) which IS the more likely explanation, But this? It's really really unlikely, getting that unlucky over a small thing like that and is incredibly rare. You probably already know this, but don't go looking for these answers on Google, Google is a minefield for anxiety sufferers such as yourself.

---------- Post added at 02:24 ---------- Previous post was at 02:22 ----------

Oh and also, you've been worrying about this for years right? Getting it now since your last blood test is like getting struck by lightning (practically)... It's not gonna happen.

[Eggplant345]

i banged me arm pretty hard on the kitchen counter yesterday and i haven't gotten a bruise which i assume i would have if i did have leukemia.... also, thank you everyone for being very reassuring to me. i appreciate it more than you can imagine. and yes jumbogiraffe. on and off for about 2 years. funny thing, i had the same worry last year for my blood test.

[Jumbogiraffe]

:yesyes: exactly! And just try and fill ur day with hobbies/work and I guarantee you will feel better. Sometimes I forget my health anxiety when Im having fun watching a film or stuff like that.

[Eggplant345]

help again. I took a picture with flash on my phone and I see a purple spot on my back like a bruise. I show my mom and sister in person and they don't see anything. :(