mzdawn74
11-11-15, 02:29
Hello,
This is my first posting here so bare with me if it's a long read. I also apologize in advance if it lacks flow or cohesiveness, as my brain is functioning very poorly, and continues to decline on a steady basis. I know you may read this post and think this woman has no issues, her post is very well written and easily understood. That maybe true in referring to how well my brain was functioning when I first wrote this post on another site over 2 months ago. It's definitely not the case now. It's taken me 10 minutes to compose this opening paragraph. I am desperately looking for some advice and help here! I walk around in a state of confusion all day long...so someone please read my post and provide me some reassurance, advice, support, or anything at this point! I've gotten to the point I've been thinking about hurting myself it's so bad. I don't want to, but at this point I feel hopeless. I guess I should stop rambling, and let you all get to know my story and why I'm here...
I have been suffering with anxiety and depression for over 4 long years now. When all of this began back then I had your typical run of the mill symptoms of both disorders eg(low mood, crying, lack of motivation, insomnia, panic attacks, trouble swallowing, heart racing, racing thoughts, and some slight memory and concentration problems).*
So,over the next 1-2 years I was placed on quite a few different SSRI's which didn't work it for me, and had almost gave up totally on medication until my psychiatrist started me on Zoloft.*
Zoloft worked well for about 4 months, and I was able to return back to my normal life, and not being in bed crying all day. However, I did end up taking myself off because I felt really good, and thought I could handle it on my own. Plus, I didn't really like the sedated feeling it gave me.*
After taking myself off I struggled on my own with my depression and anxiety, and ended up back at the bottom of the barrel wondering "why me"? I probably wouldn't have crashed again if I'd never stopped the Zoloft. But, it's too late to cry over that spilled milk!*
I continued to fight on my own without any medication, therapy, or any other type of assistance for another 6 months or so. I finally decided that I was tired of going through all of the ups and downs, and forced myself to get back to functioning on a somewhat normal basis even though it was hard. I started keeping up with my normal everyday responsibilities, got a job, and even returned back to community college.*
During this time I still had all of the original symptoms,and struggled a lot to keep up. My concentration and memory were still inpaired, but I did the best I could.
In November of last year I started to notice an increase of anxiety and actually had my first panic attacks in months. These panic attacks turned into severe confusion, memory problems, poor concentration, and other cognitive impairments. I ended up having to quit my job and school because i just couldnt function.
Since then I have done nothing but to continue to decline mentally, intelligence wise, and have become a nervous wreck! I would like to share some of my symptoms with you:
Confusion
Disoriented
More severe memory problems
Unable to comprehend conversations, TV programs, movies, books*
Word loss unable to recall proper words*
Saying incorrect words or using improper Grammer
Spelling, reading, and math difficulty
Forgetting how to do everyday things cooking, cleaning, putting on make up
Getting confused on freeway taking wrong exits
Feel dizzy and unbalanced*
Feel like I'm in a fog or dream
Indecisive
Unable to multi-task
Unable to sleep more than 3-4 hours
Have to write everything down
Thoughts are confused and disoriented and I am unable to express myself
Vision blurry and eyes feel like I am unable to focus*
Eyes are very dry and sensitive to light
Neck stiffness and pain
Headaches
Seeing shadows of things moving, but nothing is there
Feeling constantly on edge
Can feel adrenaline racing in my body
Hands and legs are shakey and weak
I have seen numerous doctors and specialists including GP, neurologist, rheumatologist, cardiologist, psychiatrist, psychologist, OB/GYN, and a few others. They have ran tests for auto immune diseases, thyroid, diabetes, heavy metals, Lyme disease, vitamin deficiencies, and many others along with ct-scans, mri's, x-rays, EEG, nerve testing, ect.
All of these tests have come back 100% normal. So, in the end all of the doctors attribute my symptoms to the depression, anxiety, insomnia, and I forgot to mention I do have mild sleep apnea (I use my cpap every night).*
Has anyone else experienced these symptoms, and it be just anxiety and depression? If so, how did you treat it? Did your cognitive functioning return to normal once your depression/anxiety was in check?
Should I be still looking for other possible medical/organic causes even though I've been tested for so much already, and they haven't found anything?
My history with medications is terrible, but I realize they areally gking to bensure key to my recovery. I always start a medication and then quit due to the increases in anxiety and cognitive impairments. How do I get through the start up side effects?*
Any advice, suggestions, opinions, and support is welcomed and very appreciated.*
Thank you,
Dawn*
This is my first posting here so bare with me if it's a long read. I also apologize in advance if it lacks flow or cohesiveness, as my brain is functioning very poorly, and continues to decline on a steady basis. I know you may read this post and think this woman has no issues, her post is very well written and easily understood. That maybe true in referring to how well my brain was functioning when I first wrote this post on another site over 2 months ago. It's definitely not the case now. It's taken me 10 minutes to compose this opening paragraph. I am desperately looking for some advice and help here! I walk around in a state of confusion all day long...so someone please read my post and provide me some reassurance, advice, support, or anything at this point! I've gotten to the point I've been thinking about hurting myself it's so bad. I don't want to, but at this point I feel hopeless. I guess I should stop rambling, and let you all get to know my story and why I'm here...
I have been suffering with anxiety and depression for over 4 long years now. When all of this began back then I had your typical run of the mill symptoms of both disorders eg(low mood, crying, lack of motivation, insomnia, panic attacks, trouble swallowing, heart racing, racing thoughts, and some slight memory and concentration problems).*
So,over the next 1-2 years I was placed on quite a few different SSRI's which didn't work it for me, and had almost gave up totally on medication until my psychiatrist started me on Zoloft.*
Zoloft worked well for about 4 months, and I was able to return back to my normal life, and not being in bed crying all day. However, I did end up taking myself off because I felt really good, and thought I could handle it on my own. Plus, I didn't really like the sedated feeling it gave me.*
After taking myself off I struggled on my own with my depression and anxiety, and ended up back at the bottom of the barrel wondering "why me"? I probably wouldn't have crashed again if I'd never stopped the Zoloft. But, it's too late to cry over that spilled milk!*
I continued to fight on my own without any medication, therapy, or any other type of assistance for another 6 months or so. I finally decided that I was tired of going through all of the ups and downs, and forced myself to get back to functioning on a somewhat normal basis even though it was hard. I started keeping up with my normal everyday responsibilities, got a job, and even returned back to community college.*
During this time I still had all of the original symptoms,and struggled a lot to keep up. My concentration and memory were still inpaired, but I did the best I could.
In November of last year I started to notice an increase of anxiety and actually had my first panic attacks in months. These panic attacks turned into severe confusion, memory problems, poor concentration, and other cognitive impairments. I ended up having to quit my job and school because i just couldnt function.
Since then I have done nothing but to continue to decline mentally, intelligence wise, and have become a nervous wreck! I would like to share some of my symptoms with you:
Confusion
Disoriented
More severe memory problems
Unable to comprehend conversations, TV programs, movies, books*
Word loss unable to recall proper words*
Saying incorrect words or using improper Grammer
Spelling, reading, and math difficulty
Forgetting how to do everyday things cooking, cleaning, putting on make up
Getting confused on freeway taking wrong exits
Feel dizzy and unbalanced*
Feel like I'm in a fog or dream
Indecisive
Unable to multi-task
Unable to sleep more than 3-4 hours
Have to write everything down
Thoughts are confused and disoriented and I am unable to express myself
Vision blurry and eyes feel like I am unable to focus*
Eyes are very dry and sensitive to light
Neck stiffness and pain
Headaches
Seeing shadows of things moving, but nothing is there
Feeling constantly on edge
Can feel adrenaline racing in my body
Hands and legs are shakey and weak
I have seen numerous doctors and specialists including GP, neurologist, rheumatologist, cardiologist, psychiatrist, psychologist, OB/GYN, and a few others. They have ran tests for auto immune diseases, thyroid, diabetes, heavy metals, Lyme disease, vitamin deficiencies, and many others along with ct-scans, mri's, x-rays, EEG, nerve testing, ect.
All of these tests have come back 100% normal. So, in the end all of the doctors attribute my symptoms to the depression, anxiety, insomnia, and I forgot to mention I do have mild sleep apnea (I use my cpap every night).*
Has anyone else experienced these symptoms, and it be just anxiety and depression? If so, how did you treat it? Did your cognitive functioning return to normal once your depression/anxiety was in check?
Should I be still looking for other possible medical/organic causes even though I've been tested for so much already, and they haven't found anything?
My history with medications is terrible, but I realize they areally gking to bensure key to my recovery. I always start a medication and then quit due to the increases in anxiety and cognitive impairments. How do I get through the start up side effects?*
Any advice, suggestions, opinions, and support is welcomed and very appreciated.*
Thank you,
Dawn*