View Full Version : foning helplines up?
hi just want to ask if any one else fones help lines up , the reason I ask is because to be honest I fone them up nearly everyday to get reassurance for one thing or other reguarding anxiety and think im relying on them far too much as if I haven't got any credit on my mobile to fone them my anxiety goes thro the roof and most of the time I ask the same things even tho I know the answer most of the time myself and it does make me feel better after I foned but I still end up the next day foning again,im not sure but maybe because I keep foning everyday im just constantly feeding the anxiety and not learning to reassure myself which is why im not able to manage and cope with anxiety and to exept that its just anxiety, and because I keep doing it I keep thinking i must be really bad as no one else fones helplines up as much as i do. could it just be a behaviour thing, and maybe i need to change that behaviour if so does any one have any advice the could give me if they can thk you.
theharvestmouse
14-11-15, 19:21
It's phoning, and no I have never phoned one up but have been close when feeling suicidal. But I don't think you are helping yourself by phoning them up on such a regular basis.
MyNameIsTerry
15-11-15, 03:20
Hi Tricia,
I think you know the answer to this one. Reassurance is a normal part of life for people without anxiety disorders, we all do it from time to time. The issue is reassurance seeking out of irrational fear. Seeking reassurance from rational fear is something that is normal.
It's about learning to "self reassure". This way you can challenge your thoughts, feelings, sensations, emotions, etc but it is a personality thing too. For instance, reassurance has never been one of my issues. I can't deny that earlier on I found it reassuring to know I wasn't alone but for a long time it has never done much or anything for me because I know it's anxiety for me. I also know I have some possible underlying physical issues, and they date back before the anxiety in the case of one, but I know that they aren't some terrible illness, they are just some form of physical problem so whilst they do cause me anxiety it is not out of worrying about what they are or mean, just that they are unpleasant. For someone who has more of a tendency to not trust their own judgement or head to someone else, they have an underlying element of their personality to battle with too e.g. self confidence.
So, for some it may mean a bit of work in improving their self confidence in order to be able to trust themselves more.
---------- Post added at 03:20 ---------- Previous post was at 03:19 ----------
It's phoning,
Does it matter? :shrug:
Thk you both for replying bk to me, one of the reasons why I posted yesterday was because yesterday morning I foned my usual helpline up as I thought I had buildup a good relationship with one of the women who works at the week end and have been talking to her for long time now and she got to know me quiet we'll and I felt she helped me a lot but when I foned her yersterday strait away she told me she felt she couldn't talk to me nomore as she felt that had used up all her resources and energy on me and when she said that I just said ok and put the fone down, and ever since she said that I've been feeling bad about myself and keep thinking does she mean
that I'm that bad to help and does everyone else who I ask for reassurance think the same as her and because she said that I just feel I'm to scared to ask any one for advice or reasurance anymore because of wat she has said.i am a very sensertive person in general and I do tend to take things quite personal wat people say but she has really made feel quite bad and can't seem to get it of my mind wat she said.
Possibly she means that continually offering you reassurance is not in your best interests, Tricia? Also she has done all she can to offer advice to benefit you and maybe she feels that repeating this advice on a daily basis is just not part of the helpline's remit?
Could someone offer some phone numbers so others can try them in times of need?
As for constantly seeking reassurances, that can be detrimental if it's done too often. It gives you temporary relief but long term you will not progress very quickly.
theharvestmouse
15-11-15, 19:02
Hi Tricia,
I think you know the answer to this one. Reassurance is a normal part of life for people without anxiety disorders, we all do it from time to time. The issue is reassurance seeking out of irrational fear. Seeking reassurance from rational fear is something that is normal.
It's about learning to "self reassure". This way you can challenge your thoughts, feelings, sensations, emotions, etc but it is a personality thing too. For instance, reassurance has never been one of my issues. I can't deny that earlier on I found it reassuring to know I wasn't alone but for a long time it has never done much or anything for me because I know it's anxiety for me. I also know I have some possible underlying physical issues, and they date back before the anxiety in the case of one, but I know that they aren't some terrible illness, they are just some form of physical problem so whilst they do cause me anxiety it is not out of worrying about what they are or mean, just that they are unpleasant. For someone who has more of a tendency to not trust their own judgement or head to someone else, they have an underlying element of their personality to battle with too e.g. self confidence.
So, for some it may mean a bit of work in improving their self confidence in order to be able to trust themselves more.
---------- Post added at 03:20 ---------- Previous post was at 03:19 ----------
Does it matter? :shrug:
I actually think it does matter, I think more people will respond to a message with good spelling and grammar.
theharvestmouse sorry im not up to your standards of grammer or spelling , I think you are out of order for saying that to me , it doesn't matter if some people on here cannot spell/grammer correctly, I didn't know that you had to spell/grammer properly to get more replys on this forum. If this is the case then i wont be no longer be coming on here just to be insulted by members over my spelling/grammer instead of getting support.
Tricia forget about the spelling.grammar I never have any problems reading your posts.
thk u elen, im not botherd about weather or not I cant spell /grammer properly, its just the fact that this other person has in my view insulted me and its not the first time they have had a dig at me, I come on here for support not to be insulted.
MyNameIsTerry
15-11-15, 23:30
I actually think it does matter, I think more people will respond to a message with good spelling and grammar.
Then shouldn't there be a capital T for The in your username? :whistles:
We are on the Internet. It's hardly Shakespeare.
But well done for upsetting someone just asking for help.
Tricia - please don't let this affect you. Forums are like this. It's about the majority of helpful people.
I make loads of mistakes when I am stressed or in a hurry, but surely with the nature of this Site, it would be overlooked and NOT pointed out.
Despite that, it is very insensitive to do so.
MyNameIsTerry
16-11-15, 04:38
If it's a support line set up for people to call whenever you wish, like The Samaritans, then there really should be no issue. Some people ring places like that up daily, I've seen some people say this before.
If it's a NHS service, like a crisis line, then if they feel someone isn't in crisis they may choose to be assertive with them over pursuing other outlets because their resources are limited.
We don't know what line you are calling so it's hard to say.
If someone is having problems with a caller, they can get advice from their supervisor on how to address it. I think depending on these places is a crutch, but crutches tend to be needed earlier on, and you need to pull away from them to recover as it has to come from within. However, I would expect to be told that so I know it's for my own good as opposed to hearing about time & resources. If it's a line like The Samaritans, resources aren't a question since they exist to perform this role but in a service tasked with supporting for a region like with the NHS I can see them saying this because it's really what you get in therapy too. If they can't do anymore, they should signpost you to services that can help you but not dump you as that causes exactlly what has happened in someone with negatiev thinking styles and won't be helping.
I phoned the Samaritans ONCE.
I was at the peak of my worst panic attack ever
To this day, I don't know how I managed to focus my brain to Google the telephone number
Then to physically control the shaking enough to dial the number.
Anyway, I spoke to a lady, who listened for 1 min. Then proceeded to tell me about the death of her husband by heart attack 6 months ago, and her ongoing bowel cancer patients problems!!!
And then she told me..there were people with 'real' problems worse off than me.!!
Whilst I do know that is true....at that moment, i was the most desperate I had ever been in my life.
I will never phone a help line again....there's no point.
The next day I stopped taking Valium. Which, with hindsight was the cause of my increasing worsening
Panic attacks.
MyNameIsTerry
16-11-15, 06:17
Thats awful, Dally. Clearly someone who needs to be removed from that position immediately. They have about 6 months training first so you would hope selfish people like this are weeded out.
If it's a support line set up for people to call whenever you wish, like The Samaritans, then there really should be no issue. Some people ring places like that up daily, I've seen some people say this before.
If it's a NHS service, like a crisis line, then if they feel someone isn't in crisis they may choose to be assertive with them over pursuing other outlets because their resources are limited.
We don't know what line you are calling so it's hard to say.
If someone is having problems with a caller, they can get advice from their supervisor on how to address it. I think depending on these places is a crutch, but crutches tend to be needed earlier on, and you need to pull away from them to recover as it has to come from within. However, I would expect to be told that so I know it's for my own good as opposed to hearing about time & resources. If it's a line like The Samaritans, resources aren't a question since they exist to perform this role but in a service tasked with supporting for a region like with the NHS I can see them saying this because it's really what you get in therapy too. If they can't do anymore, they should signpost you to services that can help you but not dump you as that causes exactlly what has happened in someone with negatiev thinking styles and won't be helping.
hi terry the helpline I called is anxiety alliance not sure if you have heard of them and think most of the helplines are just either ex suffers or recovering suffers that man the helpline the lady I spoke to most of the time isn't a trained therapist from what I can gather but she did say that she was done physcolagy(sorry cant spell it :D) so I thought she she must know what she is talking about and that she could help me more think that's why I foned so much just to speak to her.
MyNameIsTerry
16-11-15, 12:05
Yeah, I know of them, Tricia. It's a charity. They are volunteers so they will likely be ex or current sufferers. All the meeting co-ordinators were at the walk-ins at the charity I went to.
It says they are trained but I think I would question how much as it costs thousands to go to uni to study to deliver even guided self help. They must have something though.
Have you thought of trying their self help groups? There is a member on the HA board that has joined them to do that.
I guess it depends what their service is there for. If she is allocated to you to help you then I can understand how she has to consider her resources and how it impacts on others. This is just like with therapy where you get X sessions and then they pass you back to your GP so they can start with someone else. But if she is just there to pick the phone up for anyone who calls it would be more like The Samaritans so I can't see an issue.
I don't want you to take what I say next the wrong way because it's just trying to see things from the others side. It can be difficult to help people with our conditions as we can struggle to move forward quickly. So, it's a possibility that she doesn't know what to do or has reached the limits of her experience to get you moving forward? I hope you see it how I'm trying to explain it, it's not to say we are a burden or failures or anything like that but we are all hard work for therapists as our disorders are trying to stop us recovering. Does that make sense?
I say that because therapists in practice do sometimes decide a client isn't benefitting from their service. Code of Ethics are normally in place to say they should do what is best for the client so if it comes down to taking their money for not delivering much back due to the client being so stuck, they may decide to stop. So, perhaps there is only so far she can go?
I think you could pose the question to the charity and see what they decide. You could email them asking about it and see what someone in charge thinks. It could even be something they would disagree with and complain at the volunteer about.
its ok terry I haven't took wat you said the wrong way as I think you are right in wat you are saying as like you said she probly just ran out of other options to help me move forward, I don't know why I cant move forward as I do seem to know all about the anxiety and know it cant harm me etc , my son keeps telling me that its because I im always feeling sorry for myself because im always either talking about it or always on here and that I always blame the anxiety for me not being able to anything so maybe he has a point in what he saying and that is the reason I cant move forward.
Often, when you're in the midst of a situation, it's difficult at best to see beyond the blinders of that situation. Meaning, you're wrapped up with your anxiety and it makes it challenging to think about anything else outside of it. Feeding it with reassurance seeking behaviors is not beneficial. That's what your son is seeing and what I see as well.
The question is, how do you move forward? Other than traditional methods, I don't have an answer. I just sincerely hope you find a way to do so.
thk you fishmanpa I think the answer lies with in myself as it is only me that can really help myself,i have a phyciatrist assessment the 30th dec so maybe they might be able to suggest some kind of better therapy other than the basic cbt that I had tried. which may help me learn and manage the anxiety a lot better and help me move forward.
Sunflower2
16-11-15, 21:31
Don't give up Tricia, you deserve the support you require to get control of your anxiety. Hopefully the psychiatrist will be able to offer you something that is better suited to you. :)
MyNameIsTerry
17-11-15, 05:03
To an extent he is right but whilst some people respond to bluntness and a kick up the arse, an equal amount of people take it to heart and reinforce negative views of themselves. Thats why I'm just not a fan of it but if you know the person will respond well, it makes sense. But you have to be honest with yourself about this because if you listen to someone say that and then spend time looking at your negative points, it's just the negative thinking styles kicking in and these are things we have to learn to change.
Always talking about it and always reading about it is a problem. I've been through that too and what it does is prevent you from taking steps forward. It's the different between the academic and the doer. There is a certain amount of knowledge you need because if you don't understand things like negative language, Cognitive Distortions, etc then you won't be able to work on them, except by chance. Thats why CBT is based on providing the patient with knowledge of how things work, although it seems IAPT aren't big fans of this side - but it's creator was. The rule I apply to things is if I am still searching for something when I have already found things I can try, I need to stop and rethink what I'm doing.
Some people say that if you engage in it all the time you are just making yourself anxious. I think it's true to an extext, it becomes a trap that prevents you working on your recovery instead. That doesn't mean run away from anxiety and not talk about. There are "gurus" out there that say this, I can think of one very dubious one for a start who says this and then the rest of his book is full of contradictions about talking to people about elements of your anxiety! It's just about balance and talking about things the right way. Thinking or talking about it and then taking action is good, but just thinking or talking doesn't move you forward.
I don't like the self pity argument. Would you say that to someone with a physical problem? If someone in a wheelchair was complaining about their illness people would be outraged by someone saying "stop moaning, deal with it and move on". Also, anxiety disorders are part of the original fight or flight process and part of this is to assess the threats and take actions to keep us safe. That response is running a lot more with a disorder and it is finding irrational threats from the most innocent of things that people who have never suffered them (or professionals) don't see because it is too subtle to them. So, it can appear as selfish or self pity but it's only the brain doing what it is supposed to do and when low mood is involved, the impact is much greater. My therapist told me that we can change our thoughts, feelings and how we think or feel about sensations of any other factor, but our emotions are too strong for this hence we have to influence them with these ones that we can.
Blaming anxiety, who in the history of anxiety disorders hasn't done loads of that? No one. This where acceptance is key. We need to learn to accept the current situation but also that it can change. We can then do things and practice this at the same time so that we don't stay stuck. But this is not always the whole story as we need graduated exposure to build up our strength to face obstacles.
I think you need a more holistic approach than CBT. It's a good therapy but it really just does what it does within it's parameters. For many of us this isn't enough because we need support in making changes to other areas e.g. diet, exercise, physical health problems, social interaction, etc and CBT doesn;t go anywhere near this. I think you need to work on being more social, having more hobbies & interests, working with your self confidence/self worth/self esteem AND tackling the anxiety via therapy. CBT (in IAPT) can fall flat in these cases because the therapist gives you the information, helps you construct a plan and then leaves you to do it on your own. The trouble is it is very easy to put things off due to fear of many elements and the therapist will just sit in their room and await your return whether successful inbetween or not. To be efficient, therapy needs to involve the therapist with you when you start out with these things, in my opinion. Having someone support you in vivo as they call it, a real scenario, helps you to see you can do but also gets you to take those crucial steps. A large part of my therapy failed because of this but I've seen people have therapy where they have the person with them. If you had this, you may find it more achieveable because you have some reassurance with them there. Once you start making progress, you need this less because you have more of your own strength back and I think it would do you a world of good to feel some progress as you will see that YOU CAN do it. I can remember being at my worst and not believing I could ever get a tiny bit better. I was wrong. It's just part of the mindset at the time.
There should be CBT Buddies as part of the CBT package I think! Without support from an informed individual the potential for failure is significant. Of course this would involve more resources etc etc but generally I think it would make sense as there would be less of a fallout rate if people felt they were not doing this alone between appointments?
Of course it would never happen though
theharvestmouse
17-11-15, 08:35
I apologise to Tricia for any offence caused, I said it to try to help her not insult her. I'm not the first to say it and I won't be the last. Some of the reactions on here are laughable.
I apologise to Tricia for any offence caused, I said it to try to help her not insult her. I'm not the first to say it and I won't be the last. Some of the reactions on here are laughable.
The apology is totally negated by the unnecessary and uncalled for insult. Talk about kicking people when they are down.
MyNameIsTerry
17-11-15, 09:34
I apologise to Tricia for any offence caused, I said it to try to help her not insult her. I'm not the first to say it and I won't be the last. Some of the reactions on here are laughable.
Part of what you said was to help the other part was to pick her up on spelling and I don't recall seeing anyone else doing that. The laughable response is yours for being so petty.
To an extent he is right but whilst some people respond to bluntness and a kick up the arse, an equal amount of people take it to heart and reinforce negative views of themselves. Thats why I'm just not a fan of it but if you know the person will respond well, it makes sense. But you have to be honest with yourself about this because if you listen to someone say that and then spend time looking at your negative points, it's just the negative thinking styles kicking in and these are things we have to learn to change.
Always talking about it and always reading about it is a problem. I've been through that too and what it does is prevent you from taking steps forward. It's the different between the academic and the doer. There is a certain amount of knowledge you need because if you don't understand things like negative language, Cognitive Distortions, etc then you won't be able to work on them, except by chance. Thats why CBT is based on providing the patient with knowledge of how things work, although it seems IAPT aren't big fans of this side - but it's creator was. The rule I apply to things is if I am still searching for something when I have already found things I can try, I need to stop and rethink what I'm doing.
Some people say that if you engage in it all the time you are just making yourself anxious. I think it's true to an extext, it becomes a trap that prevents you working on your recovery instead. That doesn't mean run away from anxiety and not talk about. There are "gurus" out there that say this, I can think of one very dubious one for a start who says this and then the rest of his book is full of contradictions about talking to people about elements of your anxiety! It's just about balance and talking about things the right way. Thinking or talking about it and then taking action is good, but just thinking or talking doesn't move you forward.
I don't like the self pity argument. Would you say that to someone with a physical problem? If someone in a wheelchair was complaining about their illness people would be outraged by someone saying "stop moaning, deal with it and move on". Also, anxiety disorders are part of the original fight or flight process and part of this is to assess the threats and take actions to keep us safe. That response is running a lot more with a disorder and it is finding irrational threats from the most innocent of things that people who have never suffered them (or professionals) don't see because it is too subtle to them. So, it can appear as selfish or self pity but it's only the brain doing what it is supposed to do and when low mood is involved, the impact is much greater. My therapist told me that we can change our thoughts, feelings and how we think or feel about sensations of any other factor, but our emotions are too strong for this hence we have to influence them with these ones that we can.
Blaming anxiety, who in the history of anxiety disorders hasn't done loads of that? No one. This where acceptance is key. We need to learn to accept the current situation but also that it can change. We can then do things and practice this at the same time so that we don't stay stuck. But this is not always the whole story as we need graduated exposure to build up our strength to face obstacles.
I think you need a more holistic approach than CBT. It's a good therapy but it really just does what it does within it's parameters. For many of us this isn't enough because we need support in making changes to other areas e.g. diet, exercise, physical health problems, social interaction, etc and CBT doesn;t go anywhere near this. I think you need to work on being more social, having more hobbies & interests, working with your self confidence/self worth/self esteem AND tackling the anxiety via therapy. CBT (in IAPT) can fall flat in these cases because the therapist gives you the information, helps you construct a plan and then leaves you to do it on your own. The trouble is it is very easy to put things off due to fear of many elements and the therapist will just sit in their room and await your return whether successful inbetween or not. To be efficient, therapy needs to involve the therapist with you when you start out with these things, in my opinion. Having someone support you in vivo as they call it, a real scenario, helps you to see you can do but also gets you to take those crucial steps. A large part of my therapy failed because of this but I've seen people have therapy where they have the person with them. If you had this, you may find it more achieveable because you have some reassurance with them there. Once you start making progress, you need this less because you have more of your own strength back and I think it would do you a world of good to feel some progress as you will see that YOU CAN do it. I can remember being at my worst and not believing I could ever get a tiny bit better. I was wrong. It's just part of the mindset at the time.
thk you so much terry you have been a great help to me and you make a lot of sence which helps me a lot and I take it all on board and try do some of the things you have mentioned, hopefully when I go for assessment end of dec they might be able to help me, so thk you once again.
theharvestmouse
17-11-15, 18:36
Funny how when another member on here posted a very similar post to Tricia's not so long ago he got slaughtered for it. Lot's of abuse by people saying he shouldn't be wasting the Samaritans time over such trivial matters. Now the same people have completely changed their views on this.
theharvestmouse, are you referring to a former member who stated on here that he had made it part of his anxiety management plan to vent everyday to the Samaritans as they were accessible and free? If so, I'm not sure whether Tricia had the same agenda but I very much doubt it. Tricia appeared to me to post knowing that what she was doing probably wasn't at all helpful in managing her anxiety?
theharvestmouse, are you referring to a former member who stated on here that he had made it part of his anxiety management plan to vent everyday to the Samaritans as they were accessible and free? If so, I'm not sure whether Tricia had the same agenda but I very much doubt it. Tricia appeared to me to post knowing that what she was doing probably wasn't at all helpful in managing her anxiety?
theharvestmouse has left NMP, her decision.
MyNameIsTerry
17-11-15, 22:31
I can remember that. He has been back since as I've seen him logged on a couple of times. Different situations for me as he had other mental health problems which seemed to be the main reason for using them.
If you give people stick in life you must be prepared to take it back. It's rare to find people that can though.
MyNameIsTerry
18-11-15, 05:10
Funny how when another member on here posted a very similar post to Tricia's not so long ago he got slaughtered for it. Lot's of abuse by people saying he shouldn't be wasting the Samaritans time over such trivial matters. Now the same people have completely changed their views on this.
theharvestmouse, are you referring to a former member who stated on here that he had made it part of his anxiety management plan to vent everyday to the Samaritans as they were accessible and free? If so, I'm not sure whether Tricia had the same agenda but I very much doubt it. Tricia appeared to me to post knowing that what she was doing probably wasn't at all helpful in managing her anxiety?
I want to address this as there are only 2 people in this thread that were talking to NoPoet (Adam) in that thread that are in this one. There were 4 others including theharvestmouse and another member and the other two members were unhappy with the way in which Adam used The Samaritans. Pulisa did not express unhappiness over their use but merely suggested that it would be better to access the therapist who he saw quite quickly. It makes sense anyway since they can actually work with him, The Samaritans can't. I didn't see his therapists view of using them, only what he had been told by members of that organisation. To be fair, The Samaritans website makes a point of saying they are not just there for crisis but I don't think they want to be bombarded with every anxiety sufferer, every depression sufferer and anyone else who is just frustrated over something in their lives. Pulisa suggested that Adam had a good support network and that in his own words he didn't come across well about his use of the service. This is true and stating you use them to "vent" in times of stress is never going to come across well when you wonder how many others do this and what the impact is to their service. Adam had autism so his words or how he talks could come across different to those without it, something pulisa knows very well as she has children on the spectrum so it's obvious she would never say anything that could affect him, it's like saying any of us intentionally try to wind each other up. Two other member did express their dislike but neither are in this thread. I think in that situation, the other members comments had made it very hard to discuss things further and in one reply to me Adam was not focussing on what I was trying to discuss but his frustrations with the other member.
I didn't even talk about The Samaritans and suggested he stay because there is support here and his thread must be useful to him.
In this thread neither pulisa nor myself have suggested Tricia stop phoning them. I'm against it anyway BUT what people are talking about is how it can be a reassurance seeking activity, a safety behaviour, and whilst these are useful at the start they must be conquered later or they prevent recovery (any therapist or counsellor or doctor will tell you this).
So, theharvestmouse is not portaying that situation properly. I did see Adam say he was going to PM something useful to theharvestmouse which to me suggests some level of friendship or aquaintence so I believe this has been misrepresented here possible for a reason.
Facts are important!
It's sad that a member has left over a disagreement BUT I don't see even now why Tricia should have faced the same when just asking for help. Hopefully theharvestmouse will find support wherever he needs it or maybe re-joins he when he has had time to think things over. I've seen many people on here declare they want to leave over an argument or disagreement and it's all heat of the moment stuff piled on top of anxiety. If this happens, walk away and come back to your decision in a day ane you will probably find you can now see how all the good on here outweighs the odd bad thing. Cognitive Distortions remember, and they explain this quite well.
---------- Post added at 05:10 ---------- Previous post was at 05:02 ----------
There should be CBT Buddies as part of the CBT package I think! Without support from an informed individual the potential for failure is significant. Of course this would involve more resources etc etc but generally I think it would make sense as there would be less of a fallout rate if people felt they were not doing this alone between appointments?
Of course it would never happen though
Yes, I agree. I think this is a useful part of being in group therapy. They do things like this for more serious forms of mental health problem. I think I've seen if for bipolar and personality disorders in the past.
When you hit the Level 4's, the Community Mental Health Teams, I've seen members on here talk about how a nurse accompanyed them in their exposures when it has been agoraphobia. Some therapists have been discussed where they participate but I guess we are talking private where things get done right? It would have helped me greatly but al I got was the offer of going for a coffee in the mornings to get me out earlier which didn't really address the issue but was better than nothing.
I think Adam had very set ideas on how he was going to manage his anxiety and challenging these ideas was always going to be hard for him to process. I don't think helplines should be used solely to vent but someone with autism would not necessarily be able to appreciate this. I'm sure his therapist will have been working on this difficult issue with him. High functioning autism is challenging and complex but I really hope that Adam is benefitting from his therapy and is happier in general.
I can appreciate theharvestmouse's loyalty to his friend.
Don't leave harvestmouse ! I've always been aware of you as a really positive, supportive poster.
Sometimes things/threads can go a bit wonky lol. It happens, none of us are perfect. Draw a line under it and carry on as you were. :yesyes:
I'm pretty sure if you're here you are in need of some degree of support too.
venusbluejeans
18-11-15, 14:22
TheHarvestMouse has already left, he was given the usual 24 hours to change her mind but chose to still have his account deleted
allday today i have been in a right mess ive been worrying and feeling so quilty and bad because i feel that i have caused theharvestmouse to leave and that he probly wouldn't of left if i hadn't said anything to him about i felt insulted by his remark and i was going to leave because of him and that maybe i should of just ignored his remark. i just feel so bad about it all now as id hate to think i have stopped someone coming on the forum to get support if they need it because of me.
Tricia, don't feel bad. That remark about spelling was inappropriate and uncalled for and I'm sure he realised this. If he didn't then maybe there are other issues involved. Whatever the case theharvestmouse decided that he no longer wanted to be a member of NMP but he hasn't been banned so I expect he could rejoin if he wanted to at any stage?
It's not your fault. We're all under stress and take things personally but you must put this behind you and carry on posting as and when you wish?
Tricia nothing for you to feel guilty about.
It was their decision to leave and none of us know what else was going on in their lives at the moment.
Personally I hate to see people being derogatory on here and the comments they made were nasty and there was no need for it.
thk you Elen i just couldn't stop worring and stop all the wat ifs going thro my head and feeling so anxiouse and couldn't calm myself down for some reason.
MyNameIsTerry
19-11-15, 04:49
allday today i have been in a right mess ive been worrying and feeling so quilty and bad because i feel that i have caused theharvestmouse to leave and that he probly wouldn't of left if i hadn't said anything to him about i felt insulted by his remark and i was going to leave because of him and that maybe i should of just ignored his remark. i just feel so bad about it all now as id hate to think i have stopped someone coming on the forum to get support if they need it because of me.
He apologised to you, Tricia. The rest was about others in your thread which is more likely a reason. So, you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.