Deathstroke42
15-11-15, 11:17
So, decided to post here finally. I've always been a bit of a hypochondriac- or, rather, a big hypochondriac, who catastrophises any and every system, usually to diseases like cancer (which I have a really irrational and constant fear of), a tiny bit of pain coupled with a Google search diagnosing me with the worst possible illness I could possibly imagine before it goes away in a few days; as I'm sure everyone here knows, it's not a nice cycle. Every little thing I think must be something terrible, and deep down I know it's silly, but I do it anyway.
My biggest fixation has always been my lymph nodes. I felt a small lump under the skin (none of them are raised above the skin) what must have been six to seven years ago now, and back then thought nothing really of it- it was gushy, no bigger than a couple of centimeters, and moved around under the touch, and has never grown. That was probably because it didn't come with a Google search. Then, around two and a half years ago (I was 15, now 18) I felt some more bumps under the skin in my neck, and instantly panicked, diagnosing myself with all kinds of lymphoma the moment I hit Google. As I poked and prodded them, they didn't grow, but I think did firm up somewhat, and have never gone down- I poked and prodded all over my body, finding several in my groin, and all around my neck, under the jaw, on both sides, etc.
They're all around 0.5cm to 2cm at biggest, firm but not hard, and move under the touch. Honestly, I'm not even sure if they're swollen, or if I can just palpitate them normally. In two years, they have never grown.
I seem to alternate region by region panicking and endlessly poke and prod, and in that time they seem to get bigger, before I calm down and they seem to get smaller. I go a few weeks or a month without panic, and then move on to the next region, some cold or illness flaring a few up and me freaking out before the cycle repeats itself. Whenever I've been to the Doctor (never for the express purpose of having them checked, but they've been felt several times) the doctors have never been concerned about them or seemed phased by them, and neither have friends or family, with some even suggesting they can feel similar.
I'm rather thin, so I think this may be part of the reason why I can feel them so easily but they've never been raised above the skin and no one else seems concerned about them. I also have had quite bad acne throughout the teenage years, and I understand this can cause them to flare up and stay up, particularly when I won't leave them alone.
It seems these nodes are probably the biggest cause of anxiety all over the internet. Just how likely are they to be cancer or something terrible, truly, as opposed to Google just saying that they pretty much always are (I know not to trust Doctor Google!) After this long without any of them growing (or, when they seemingly do, going back down), should I go to the doctor again (I honestly don't think it'll reassure me that much), or should I just finally move on? Thanks in advance for the reassurement and advice!
My biggest fixation has always been my lymph nodes. I felt a small lump under the skin (none of them are raised above the skin) what must have been six to seven years ago now, and back then thought nothing really of it- it was gushy, no bigger than a couple of centimeters, and moved around under the touch, and has never grown. That was probably because it didn't come with a Google search. Then, around two and a half years ago (I was 15, now 18) I felt some more bumps under the skin in my neck, and instantly panicked, diagnosing myself with all kinds of lymphoma the moment I hit Google. As I poked and prodded them, they didn't grow, but I think did firm up somewhat, and have never gone down- I poked and prodded all over my body, finding several in my groin, and all around my neck, under the jaw, on both sides, etc.
They're all around 0.5cm to 2cm at biggest, firm but not hard, and move under the touch. Honestly, I'm not even sure if they're swollen, or if I can just palpitate them normally. In two years, they have never grown.
I seem to alternate region by region panicking and endlessly poke and prod, and in that time they seem to get bigger, before I calm down and they seem to get smaller. I go a few weeks or a month without panic, and then move on to the next region, some cold or illness flaring a few up and me freaking out before the cycle repeats itself. Whenever I've been to the Doctor (never for the express purpose of having them checked, but they've been felt several times) the doctors have never been concerned about them or seemed phased by them, and neither have friends or family, with some even suggesting they can feel similar.
I'm rather thin, so I think this may be part of the reason why I can feel them so easily but they've never been raised above the skin and no one else seems concerned about them. I also have had quite bad acne throughout the teenage years, and I understand this can cause them to flare up and stay up, particularly when I won't leave them alone.
It seems these nodes are probably the biggest cause of anxiety all over the internet. Just how likely are they to be cancer or something terrible, truly, as opposed to Google just saying that they pretty much always are (I know not to trust Doctor Google!) After this long without any of them growing (or, when they seemingly do, going back down), should I go to the doctor again (I honestly don't think it'll reassure me that much), or should I just finally move on? Thanks in advance for the reassurement and advice!