laurenmk
17-11-15, 04:16
One step forward, two steps back. I have this closet in my apartment that houses all sorts of pipes and gauges, as well as a w/d combo. I don't like this closet. It's always loud, with what I believe is water coursing through the pipes to heat or cool the apartment. Awhile back water was leaking when I did a load of laundry, leading to a few weeks of fear around mold before I finally (mostly) let that fear go.
Tonight I heard two sounds come from the closet I haven't heard before. I actually went to see if a small bottle of something had fallen in the bathroom. When I went to bed I closed the doors to said closet (I had left them open to help the dryer cool off). I know it was my mind playing tricks on me, but I can nearly swear there was a haze in the air.
Now I lie here in bed, arms tingling, heart racing, and my mind telling me how some pipe came loose or gauge malfunctioned and there is toxic gas seeping into the apartment. Then I think maybe it won't kill me but do something awful like blind me or leave me lightheaded for the rest of my life. I don't even know if this apartment uses gas!
I don't know how much longer I can take living in an environment that is often making me feel like I need to flee. My fight or flight response is forever activated on flight.
I'm not even looking for anyone to reassure me like I usually am I guess. I think I'm hoping that putting this in black and white will help. I just don't know.
Tonight I heard two sounds come from the closet I haven't heard before. I actually went to see if a small bottle of something had fallen in the bathroom. When I went to bed I closed the doors to said closet (I had left them open to help the dryer cool off). I know it was my mind playing tricks on me, but I can nearly swear there was a haze in the air.
Now I lie here in bed, arms tingling, heart racing, and my mind telling me how some pipe came loose or gauge malfunctioned and there is toxic gas seeping into the apartment. Then I think maybe it won't kill me but do something awful like blind me or leave me lightheaded for the rest of my life. I don't even know if this apartment uses gas!
I don't know how much longer I can take living in an environment that is often making me feel like I need to flee. My fight or flight response is forever activated on flight.
I'm not even looking for anyone to reassure me like I usually am I guess. I think I'm hoping that putting this in black and white will help. I just don't know.