Please help, I'm so confused!

[char123]

Hi,

This is going to sound weird but I think my anxiety/ obsessional way of thinking is making me confused about who I am 'attracted' to!!! So basically afew months ago I was obsessed over the thought that I could be gay and it brought me anxiety (I think I actually wrote a post about it) so I took the advice and told myself 'so what if I am' and the scary recurring thought eventually went away. Still, I don't know if I am bi or whatever but that doesn't really bother me because I know it will probably become clearer as I get older and it doesn't really matter (I'm a 17 year old female by the way). But I have been overthinking the idea and questioning who I am or was attracted to and im driving myself crazy!
All of my crushes in the past and now are guys but I've wondered if I've actually felt attraction?! Like, I know I like(d) these guys but am I confusing this feeling with more like an obsession rather that attraction? I've thought about it so much that I feel like I don't know what being attracted to someone feels like. I feel so messed up, like my way of thinking is ruining my life. And now I'm questioning if I like my friend, who is a girl, because I enjoy spending time with her. I don't think I 'like' her in a romantical way but my confusion over the whole topic is just messing me all up. Now I can't get all these thoughts out of my mind. Ugh I feel like I am so weird and just different to everyone.

Sorry this turned out quite long but I'd appreciate any reply! Has anyone had similar experiences? And I don't think I have OCD but I definitely have some sort of obsessional thinking, is that a thing? Thanks for reading :)

[freshy666]

Don't worry, I've totally be in the same situation when I was about your age. Not knowing if I actually was sexually attracted to men or if I simply liked them and the way I felt 'safe' around them. It didn't help that I was raised in a religious environment and had that additional pressure. Once I was able to break free from that pressure and could accept that it was okay to explore, things seem to lighten up a bit. What helped me is what it seems like you are trying to do: not make it be a problem. In other words, let yourself feel the way you feel for whoever it is towards. Relationships are complex no matter what gender/sexuality is involved! Just 'go with the flow', as difficult as it may seem at the moment.

[char123]

Thankyou for replying! I'm so relieved that someone else has gone through this as horrible as that sounds :) Like you my parents are religious too and I think that if I am attracted to women aswell, I don't think they would agree with it. But I'll definitely try not to dwell on it or make it an issue. I guess thinking about it wouldn't change the fact if I am or not so it's pointless really.
Thanks again