Sitting here not at work again - feel awful

[Female healthanxiety]

Hi guys

Hope you're all ok. Thank you for reading.

Well.... I haven't been on NMP for a couple months, as my life has been completely hectic.

I won't drag on about everything in detail, but these are just some of the things that have been going on in the 2 months:

1) my younger sister was voluntarily sectioned in August, which has involved me and my mum worrying, but also attending hundreds of meetings with no-it-all and no help social workers and other agencies

2) visiting her every other day (my mum does not drive, so I've been finishing work at 5.30. Driving to get my mum, visiting my sister, dropping my mum home and then finally taking myself home)

3) I started a new job, which quite frankly is the worst job ever in terms of the place being so disorganised and stressful (everyone slags everyone off and no one knows what there meant to be doing)

4) I have been off work for at least 4 times a month, due to things like headaches, fatigue and this week I don't have any energy, my bones ache even holding my phone

5) I have started getting panic attacks (especially in my car) and I need my car to go everywhere

6) I have had a real panic about lights (I live in London and this is nothing new to me when driving) I think that's why I get panicky, but on the same busy roads I have been driving for years now

7) I'm worried about my mum: she has no life in her and looks really down, you can see the hurt in her eyes, and I'm worried about her everyday she goes to work as she don't drive and has to get buses

8) I feel awful in myself, I have awful dizziness, and also the detachment feeling, I even felt like jumping out my car the other day!

9) I get out of breath (not sure if it is to do with the exreme fatigue) just getting up and walking to the toilet

10) my muscles are so tense and I feel like no matter how many baths I have nor visit to to massage chair, it does not help

I'm having such horrid heart/ectopics too and sometimes feel like I'm just going to pass out as I get really hot.

My dog my mums had for 14 years has now been diagnosed with the C word and I know that is something my mum and sister are going to mot deal with well.

I'm im debt too, and these 3 days I've had off only make me feel worse we I don't get no sick pay

Xxx

[dizzy daisy]

Hi female. I can really relate to this post as much of it sounds like my life too. I suppose we have to just deal with things the best we can and acknowledge that we are feeling stressed and that makes us feel unwell. It's not nice at all but eventually we can get better. Do you have anyone you can talk to or have you asked your GP for help? Xxxx

[Female healthanxiety]

Hi darling,

Well couple months ago was given diazepam as and when but they do tend to make me feel more dizzy/tired. But taking one makes me cope better.

Yes I do have friends. But this is what concerns me; it doesn't eleviate anything :-(

[dizzy daisy]

I know it's horrible. Makes you feel so alone at times. I talk to friends and family but when I'm feeling so low I just can't get past it no matter how much I tell people I feel crap. It's all part of the disorder though I suppose and it's just so important that we try to carry on as best as possible.
I'm like you I've just started a new job a few months back and then I was off for 3 weeks. I've just gone back last week but struggling at the minute. I do like my new job though which at least is something. Xxxx

[Female healthanxiety]

That's brilliant to hear - that is always a help when you want to get up and go to work.

Take every day as it comes and before you know it; you've done a full week!

It is horrid - the dizziness, my eyes, it's all horrid

[dizzy daisy]

It is. I hate the Dizzyness the most really. Xxxx

[Female healthanxiety]

Made it into work but 2 hours late, o think only because I had my blood tests at the Drs but am so full of anxiety today I feel like I'm swaying and drunk like I'm gonna collapse, I really am fed up of feeling like I'm just gonna drop, like I feel drunk.

My Bp was 138/85 and my face dropped and u think that has only fuelled my anxiety.

I cried at the Drs and said look I don't feel right, I'm 32 and feeling like death my dizziness is always there and sometimes I cannot even go into work. He is checking my thyroid and vitamins alongside the organ functions with a blood test.

Please can someone talk to me, I'm at my desk and feel like I'm just going to faint, I'm breathing properly, so I'm trying all I can I really am xxx

[Fishmanpa]

With respect, you're at work. Why not work? Distraction and focusing on a task would be more beneficial IMO. Heck, if there's nothing to do, find something to do even if it's cleaning up your work area. Being on the forum and focusing on your symptoms can't really be helping.

Positive thoughts

[Female healthanxiety]

Hi Fishmanpa,

Well I have to work otherwise I do not get paid - I want to work, but am finding it difficult. I am all for distractions.

Anything I do makes the symptoms worse.

I am relating back to this post from yesterday, and of course am looking for advice and support :unsure:

[Fishmanpa]

All we can do when faced with adversity is put one foot in front of the other. What other choice do we have? You're obviously under a lot of stress and you know from experience that's what's causing the symptoms.

The situations you speak about are basically out of your control. What is in your control is how you react to them.

"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we handle it" Charles Swindoll

All the typical exercises to alleviate anxiety and stress apply. Distraction, meditation, breathing exercises etc.

Concerning the job... it's always easier to find work when you have work. I'm currently pursuing opportunities and doing that alone helps me deal with the current situation. While the family issues are out of your control, the work situation is. That's one aspect you can exercise control over.

Positive thoughts

[Elen]

You have had such a lot going on.

Please do try and stop yourself from going down the health anxiety route if you possibly can.

Is there any help available to you to allievate the anxiety?

I really do hope that you catch a break soon.

Elen

[Female healthanxiety]

Thanks fishmanpa

I am so angry at myself I had the worst panic attack at walk and had to leave..:.:

I normally am such a hidden person but it was too overweening to handle; I had to wait in my car for an hour before I could even drive home for 15 minutes

Well done on your job searching- I really hope a good job finds you

---------- Post added at 17:48 ---------- Previous post was at 16:52 ----------

Hi Elen

Thank you for your thoughtful message.

It's just like somethings exploded, I can't even relax now and I'm at home: forced myself to have a bath to wash the anxiety off and I just feel completely disorientated, dizzy and my heart feels irritated if that makes sense

Xx

[Elen]

Try not to focus on the physical symptoms. Your brain is in total overdrive. If you can find something to distract yourself.

[Female healthanxiety]

Thanks El- will do.

It's just everything I do it makes the systems worse; I've got so much to be getting in with and not for the love of trying neither x