sugarsugar
25-11-15, 10:03
Hi I'm new. Just looking for some kind of affirmation really. I've had anxiety for years and suffer with sleep and the odd bout of depression. I had a bereavement at the start of the year which I feel has finally caught up with me. I have a lot on my plate and am struggling to cope at the mo, I'm so emotional, anxious, irritable, on edge all the time. I've been referred for counselling a few times before but by the time the waiting list has got round to giving me an appointment, I've always managed to talk myself out of it or convince myself I'm ok now, or that I don't have time etc and end up emailing them to cancel it. I really feel now like I could benefit from it though, but the thought of the waiting list is making me feel sick. I'm on medication for sleep but probably need something more. I've been off for over a week and am now too anxious to go back. I literally can't even bring myself to make a phonecall or read an email I've been sent it's getting out of hand and I don't know what to do :( A couple of times in the last week, too anxious to even go out the house. Random things like the house being a mess sends me into an anxious panic and I have to drop everything and tidy up. I recognise some triggers in myself from when I had it bad a few years ago.. I can be irritable and feel stressed over nothing. I'm waiting for a call from the doc today but I have no idea what he can do for me. I can't take meds like diazepam as I have a toddler. Luckily I have help with him as his dad is involved and my mum helps out when she can. Upper/antidepressants really interfere with my sleep, I'm sure they would interfere with the sedatives I take before bed. If I don't take the sedatives I simply don't sleep, which makes me even MORE anxious/irritable/emotional etc.. I just feel totally hopeless and I don't know what to do. It's affecting my whole life, my relationship with others etc. I've been a little paranoid with it as well, and forgetful, clumsy... It's happened before and I left my job because it was so bad.. I feel I've come so far and now this bereavement (which I'm struggling with a bit) this has put me right back where I was :frown: :frown: :frown: