Lymph nodes :(

[Dornish Red]

Hello everyone.

So, about 2-3 weeks ago, left side of my neck felt very stiff and painful, so I tried to massage it, and while doing that, I felt two lymph nodes on the side of my neck. They are not very big (I would say about 1 cm), and I can't see them unless I turn my head in the other direction, but that of course got me very panicked. I touched the right side as well, and, of course, I found another one, on the lower part of the side of my neck, where the neck meets the shoulder. This one is maybe a couple of mms bigger. I poked at them all, they are kind of movable, especially the one on the right side.

The thing is, I never checked for them before, I never wanted to go there, so I have no idea if they are new or been there for a long time. About a month before I found them I had a nasty cold or something, that lasted for more than 2 weeks. Even my ears were blocked and painful. And also, 5-6 days after I noticed them, I got a mild cold that is still going on, but barely.

My nodes are still up :( they haven't gotten any bigger, but neither they have gotten smaller. They do not hurt. This really freaks me out. I don't have any other symptoms except for pain in my joints and arms and legs that has been going on for about 4 months and the doctor said it is reactive arthritis due to bacterial genital infection. Since bone pain is a symptom of lymphoma, I am now of course terrified and scared that the doctor was wrong. I had blood tests (cbc, crp, sed rate) 3 months ago and everything was fine.

I am going to see a doctor tomorrow. I am so very scared, I am crying right now:weep: I am touching them all the time, which I know is bad, but can't help myself.
I was doing so good with my HA, and now this:weep:
Can anyone reassure me, please?:weep:

[Randara]

Hello! You are not alone, there are so many people on here who are going through the same thing. I have had one of my lymph nodes swollen for over two months now, and think it's linked to problems I'm having with Eustachian tubes. It sounds like your ones are related to this cold you've had and if you say your blood tests came back clear a few months ago. They would have picked anything up.

Try not to touch them. And I hope it goes well at the doctors.

[Dornish Red]

Thank you so much for replying.

I know lots of people get lymph node problems, it seems like lymph nodes are one of the top issues with us who have HA, that's why I never wanted to check for them, I would just brush my fingers along my neck sometimes, never wanted to dig any deeper in case I find something, because I know it would freak me out completely. And now I found 3 of them...

I hope that my blood work would show if something sinister was going on. I'll do my best not to touch them until tomorrow, but it's so hard to be calm right now.

[Jennyzee]

Totally normal. I have one under each ear that are rock hard that ive had for over 20 yrs. If I found them now Id be freaking out but since ive had them so long I know its nothing. Lesson here is DONT GO LOOKING...you surely will find something ;-)

[snowflake293]

Big hugs to you! I know exactly how you are feeling. My HA was getting loads better and now, like you, I am freaking out over nodes.

I haven't had a blood test for a long time cause they freak me out, but I would say if you had one only 3 months ago then hopefully that should set your mind at rest. Especially if you say the bone pain started before you had the bloods done.

I know how scary it is. It makes you feel so helpless and alone. Like you I can't stop touching my nodes either. I am off work sick but I am gonna have to go out for a drive to take my mind off it cause I am just sat here worrying!

I really hope this helps. Please try not to prod them and if you can find something to distract you (I know this is easier said than done)

xx

[Dornish Red]

Totally normal. I have one under each ear that are rock hard that ive had for over 20 yrs. If I found them now Id be freaking out but since ive had them so long I know its nothing. Lesson here is DONT GO LOOKING...you surely will find something ;-)

This makes me feel a bit better. Thank you:)


Big hugs to you! I know exactly how you are feeling. My HA was getting loads better and now, like you, I am freaking out over nodes.

I haven't had a blood test for a long time cause they freak me out, but I would say if you had one only 3 months ago then hopefully that should set your mind at rest. Especially if you say the bone pain started before you had the bloods done.

I know how scary it is. It makes you feel so helpless and alone. Like you I can't stop touching my nodes either. I am off work sick but I am gonna have to go out for a drive to take my mind off it cause I am just sat here worrying!

I really hope this helps. Please try not to prod them and if you can find something to distract you (I know this is easier said than done)

xx

Hey snowflake, I have read your topic and wanted to post on it. I am sorry you are going through the same thing, because I know how awful it feels.
It does comfort me that I am not alone.

This really is a terrible feeling, a couple years ago I could not imagine my life is going to look like this, just worrying, everyday, constantly. I am so sick and tired of everything.

I hope I get some reassurance from my doctor tomorrow. If she gets worried and sends me immediately for tests I have no idea how am I going to cope.

I hope you get better, and your nodes go down with antibiotics. Although it seems that it's normal for nodes to stay up for a long time.
I think it's a good thing that they are not getting bigger.

I have to go to classes soon, god, I hope I don't break down and cry in front of other people. The hardest thing for me is to pretend I'm fine. I do it especialy for my mum and my boyfriend, I don't want them to know how scared I am.

Hugs to you.

[snowflake293]

This makes me feel a bit better. Thank you:)



Hey snowflake, I have read your topic and wanted to post on it. I am sorry you are going through the same thing, because I know how awful it feels.
It does comfort me that I am not alone.

This really is a terrible feeling, a couple years ago I could not imagine my life is going to look like this, just worrying, everyday, constantly. I am so sick and tired of everything.

I hope I get some reassurance from my doctor tomorrow. If she gets worried and sends me immediately for tests I have no idea how am I going to cope.

I hope you get better, and your nodes go down with antibiotics. Although it seems that it's normal for nodes to stay up for a long time.
I think it's a good thing that they are not getting bigger.

I have to go to classes soon, god, I hope I don't break down and cry in front of other people. The hardest thing for me is to pretend I'm fine. I do it especialy for my mum and my boyfriend, I don't want them to know how scared I am.

Hugs to you.

Bless you. You will be ok hun. I know how tough this is. I wish I could be stronger but I literally tell everyone about my worries cause I am constantly seeking assurance. You might feel better though if you talk to your boyfriend and mom about how you feel. They love you and will understand xx

Hope your class goes ok, you won't break down and cry you will be ok :) you can do this!

Just think, in a few weeks time both of us will most likely look back on this and wonder why we were every worried! I always think back to the time I had a mole on my arse and thought it was cancer... I had to bend over a show the dr and I was hyperventalating and crying at the time LOL :roflmao:it wasn't funny then cause I was freaking out, but I can look back and laugh now!

things can and WILL get better! xx:hugs:

[Dornish Red]

Thanks for your support, it really helps. And your episode with the mole gave me a good laugh:D

I actually have some moles that I would like to get checked out, they haven't changed, just look weird, I have been working my courage to go to the dermatologist, but now, with this popping up, I have to postpone that, can't deal with that as well.

I told my boyfriend about the nodes, I didn't want to, but he saw me prodding my neck constantly so I had to tell him what's up. He felt my neck and told me not to worry (but what does he know, he is not a doctor:D ). I told my mum as well, she just brushed her fingers along my neck and couldn't feel anything. I didn't want to make her dig any deeper. Tonight I have to tell her I my nodes are still up and I'm going to the doctor tomorrow, and I know she will be worried, she also has anxiety problems.
I have HA for about 4-5 months, and, besides the occasional conversations with my boyfriend about it, I have been pretty much dealing with it on my own.

Today was a terrible, terrible day. It took me more than 15 minutes to stop crying and hyperventilating so I can get out of the house. I haven't felt this miserable in a long time.
I also feel so ashamed since there are so many people that actually ARE diagnosed with some serious illnesses, and they are so brave and positive, and I am so pathetic :weep:

If my doctor gets worried tomorrow I swear I'm going to lose it.
I just wish I will be able to laugh about this one day.

[snowflake293]

Glad it gave you a laugh - seeing the funny side of it all can help sometimes :D

If your moles haven't changed recently it is most likely nothing to worry about, but always best to be sure. I have some really weird ones! The one on my bum cheek was dark brown/black and horseshoe shaped. I actually got my other half to take a close up photo of it and I sat there zooming in on the photo sobbing hysterically. I never, ever thought I could look back on that and laugh now cause at the time I was in such a mess. There are literally countless other stories - like the time I thought my fella had skin cancer on his ear and it turned out to be ear wax!!!!

Talking to loved ones really does help. My fella suffers with anxiety and has experienced health anxiety before but is recovering very, very well. I find talking to him helps cause although he understands how horrible it is, he is also quite firm with me at times and that helps me too.

You sound like you are in a bad place hun, but you will come through it. When you go to the doctors tomorrow you could try talking to them about how you are feeling. They might be able to suggest some help. I have had talking therapies (CBT and now having pyschodymanic therapy) it has helped a lot. I have been having it for about a year or so and I am taking Sertraline which has also helped.

Let us know how your appointment goes tomorrow and try and keep calm. I know that is so hard to do, but honestly I promise you, one day you will look back on this and you won't believe how far you have come in getting over it.

Stay strong and think positive :)

xx

[Dornish Red]

Thank you snowflake, very much:)

I'm going to the doctor soon, and am absolutely terrified. Barely got any sleep last night. I wish someone could go with me, but no one can. I'm afraid I'm going to break down and cry in front of the doctor.

I have asked for help with my social anxiety, and anxiety in general. Didn't get much help though, a few conversations with a psychologist and a "you can do it" speech at the end.
I'm from a small country and I'm afraid that awareness about HA is not very good, not even sure if there is such thing as CBT for HA in here at all.

---------- Post added at 15:49 ---------- Previous post was at 13:49 ----------

Update:
Just finished with my doctor appointment. Doctor felt my nodes, said that they are up probably because of the virus and the cold I had before. I told him that I am worried, he said they are just slightly swollen and that they are not concerning. He ordered some bloodwork, and I have to come next tuesday and we will see if blood results are normal. I feel better, I am going to stop touching my nodes so much and make it until tuesday. I really hope my blood tests will be fine. Still a bit scared, but I think I will manage to calm down. If all the results are fine, I'm going to be so happy. I'll try to stay positive and hope for the best. Although waiting for results is terrifying and still making me anxious.

[snowflake293]

Thank you snowflake, very much:)

I'm going to the doctor soon, and am absolutely terrified. Barely got any sleep last night. I wish someone could go with me, but no one can. I'm afraid I'm going to break down and cry in front of the doctor.

I have asked for help with my social anxiety, and anxiety in general. Didn't get much help though, a few conversations with a psychologist and a "you can do it" speech at the end.
I'm from a small country and I'm afraid that awareness about HA is not very good, not even sure if there is such thing as CBT for HA in here at all.

---------- Post added at 15:49 ---------- Previous post was at 13:49 ----------

Update:
Just finished with my doctor appointment. Doctor felt my nodes, said that they are up probably because of the virus and the cold I had before. I told him that I am worried, he said they are just slightly swollen and that they are not concerning. He ordered some bloodwork, and I have to come next tuesday and we will see if blood results are normal. I feel better, I am going to stop touching my nodes so much and make it until tuesday. I really hope my blood tests will be fine. Still a bit scared, but I think I will manage to calm down. If all the results are fine, I'm going to be so happy. I'll try to stay positive and hope for the best. Although waiting for results is terrifying and still making me anxious.

I understand how you feel about waiting for results. It makes me really nervous too. Try not to poke at your nodes if you can help it. If it makes you feel any better, I have tried not to poke at mine for the last day or so and they are actually going down now :)

Which country are you from? It is a shame you can't get access to the help you need. It is hard enough here in the UK to access mental health services at times and we have the NHS (which is wonderful by the way, but there can be a wait sometimes getting help for mental health issues)

Hope you are feeling better today and less anxious? I am feeling good so far today much less anxious than I was a few days ago. I am getting over my health anxiety day by day and you will get over yours too :)

[Dornish Red]

I am happy to hear yours are going down :) mine are still here :( not getting bigger, but not getting smaller. I don't prod them so much anymore, maybe just once-twice a day. I am trying my best to stay calm, but waiting for results is really freaking me out. I am very scared of the results. I'm feeling a bit itchy but I think that's just my anxiety.

I'm from Croatia. I wish awareness for anxiety was better here so I could get the help I need without much trouble. Maybe I will speak to my GP about it again.

I just really hope blood results will be fine, it would really give me a lot of reassurance and I would be a lot calmer
Trying to distract myself these days and think about other things... I will keep writing updates, it makes me feel better.

How is your anxiety at the moment? Hope you are feeling better XX

[snowflake293]

Your nodes will go down :) not prodding is the best way to go! Itching can be caused by anxiety, I get this. You will be ok :)

Definitely ask your GP about getting help for your anxiety. Sometimes you really have to persist to get some help, but it is worth it. You will get through this.

I know how worrying it is waiting for results. I hate it! I had a biopsy on a breast lump a few years ago and I was beside myself waiting for the results. I was ok though :)

Yes definitely keep writing updates, writting down your feelings will help as will talking to others about it!

My anxiety is bad today but I think its the side effects of the steroids I am on for my chest infection. I dont have health anxiety today as such, just a general nevous feeling :( not sleeping well but today is my last day on them, horrible tablets!

I can still feel my nodes a bit. I think they feel smaller cause I am less worried now if that makes sense? I am trying not to poke!

xx

[Trying80]

I've got node issues right now too. I wonder, if we weren't worried about a particular disease, would we even notice them? Before I got on this HA bandwagon, I never really noticed my nodes. Now I check them all the time and since I found a couple seemed enlarged I haven't been able to stop checking those and any others I could find.
It's both frightening and tiring.

[snowflake293]

Same here. Before I started Googling all the time due to health anxiety I didn't really give my nodes a second thought! I guess if you press and poke at any part of your body hard enough you will feel things, and it's even worse when you are worried already!

It is frightening and tiring, that is an excellent choice of words - epspecially tiring! I get so fed up and bored of feeling this way sometimes. I feel quite jealous of people who seem not to care about stuff like this and take it in their stride. Then I remember though, I am in control of how I feel.

You just have to keep reminding yourself of that though, no matter how 'real' it feels you are in control and you can get through it.

Hope that helps :)

[Dornish Red]

I've got node issues right now too. I wonder, if we weren't worried about a particular disease, would we even notice them? Before I got on this HA bandwagon, I never really noticed my nodes. Now I check them all the time and since I found a couple seemed enlarged I haven't been able to stop checking those and any others I could find.
It's both frightening and tiring.

I'm sorry to hear you are suffering with anxiety about nodes as well. I found them by accident, or maybe somewhere inside my anxiety driven brain, I was looking for them...

I was doing a bit better but decided to check them again this evening, and they are of course still here, not even slightly smaller, and it made me a little anxious again. It's been more than 2 weeks now, and I know that's not good:weep:

Also my cold is still going on, my throat is sore, my tonsils were very tender yesterday, I feel like I have a lot of mucus in my throat, and I cough a little. I hope once I get well nodes will go down... But, since they were not visible and I never checked before, as far as I know they could have been there for ages, and they will just stay that way...Ugh, I wish I could know!
Two more days until my blood results are back... I'm doing my best trying not to worry.

[nippy70]

Hey. Big hugs..... Your anxiety and stress is eating away at u. ... This is only going to make u worse... That in itself csn have massive effects on your body x anxiety does make us feel asbi things are there when they Infact are not xx

[Dornish Red]

Hey. Big hugs..... Your anxiety and stress is eating away at u. ... This is only going to make u worse... That in itself csn have massive effects on your body x anxiety does make us feel asbi things are there when they Infact are not xx

Yes, I am aware that I am probably making a big deal due to my anxiety. My lymph nodes are definitely here, but I guess I am making them seem bigger and more concerning that they really are.

Tomorrow I have dr appointment to see what my blood results are. I'm trying to think positively because I am not feeling any different then the last time when my bloodwork was done. I try to think that I would definitely have some other symptoms if something was very wrong with me.

I'm getting kind of anxious, can't wait to go to the doctor and hopefully get some reassurance. I really hope that results will be fine.
Waiting for results is so hard:weep:

Thank you for replying XX

[Dornish Red]

Can't sleep...

I have noticed that taking blood have caused me to have a small bruise at the spot where the blood was taken. That's happened before and doesn't worry me, but I have noticed I have another bruise about 2 cms below the first one. Is this normal? I don't remember hitting my arm... Can this second bruise be also from the blood taking?

Damn, my anxiety is so high right now... I hope I will get some sleep tonight.

[Trying80]

When I told the doctor about what I thought were enlarged nodes under my jaw, he felt them and said nope, they're arteries. Yikes. No wonder my neck has been saw from prodding around.
Also said my armpit ones were nothing.
This is all in our head a lot of the time.

[Dornish Red]

So glad your nodes turned to be nothing :)

I have dr appointment very soon, and I'm sooooo anxious.
I didn't get any sleep at all, the entire night I was just rolling in bed, my heart was racing and I felt hot and sweaty.

And this weird bruising on my arm is now freaking me out! I wish I could just calm down.

[Trying80]

I know how you feel, I was not sleeping well at all in the previous weeks, sometimes months.
In my blood test I had a little bruising near the mark, so don't stress about that.
Just try and remember that all will be ok. You're doing everything you can.

[Dornish Red]

Well, good news.
My blood results are all fine! Doctor said I could do an ultrasound of the nodes if I wanted to, but that there is really no need. I didn't want to because that would just cause additional stress. She said that it's normal for my nodes to even stay up, and that I check them from time to time, if they get bigger I should come back.
Well, they didn't get any smaller but I hope they won't grow.

I told her about my joint and arms/legs pain, and she said that it's a bit unusual for reactive arthritis to last so long ( 4 months) and that worried me a little, but she said that it will probably go away with time. I found a lot of info about reactive arthritis lasting for 6-12 months, so I hope it's still normal.

My nodes are still here, I'll do my best not to touch them too much. I hope my anxiety will go down.

[Dornish Red]

Oh, and also, apparently the bruising on my arm is totally normal after blood drawing. So, if anyone is wondering, it IS possible to have multiple bruises after a blood test, if you are lucky like me:whistles: and it's normal, just a ruptured vein.

I hope I will get a good night sleep after quite some time:)

And I didn't touch my nodes today, not even once:D

[snowflake293]

Glad you are doing ok :)

Bruising after a blood test is normal yes. My fiance had a blood test earlier in the week and the entire lower part of his arm has come up in a huge bruise! aparently sometimes when the nurse/practitioner draws the blood if he or she doesn't apply enough pressure it can cause this to happen. He is not worried at all (and he used to have health anxiety!) but he is gonna show the dr in the week just to be sure

xx