newbee trying to cope with ha

[aljohn]

Hi guys, my first post so sorry if i go on a bit.

I have been suffering with anxiety for the past couple of years, health anxiety for the last 18 months. It came out of know where whilst i was christmas shopping one evening with my family.

From there i had a few more panic attacks and it then kind of switched to ha.

I've never been to the doctor about my anxiety, always tried to manage it by my self, have told my partner but thats about as far as its got.

I go through periods of being fine, then bam it comes back one day worse than the last time.

I've been through all the common fears, cancer of all kinds, heart attack, strokes, you name it ive googled it and thought i had it, but I've talked my self around and eventually got through it.

This time its different, i had a good summer with no real anxiety, went back to work after my holiday and it started, with a pain in the centre of my back, probably caused by my horrible posture, im an.insurance broker so am slunched at a desk all day.

I got over this was feeling better for a couple of weeks then my partner said she though one of my moles may have changed slightly, which sent me in to a complete panic,

i actually booked an appointment with the doctor, went to see him, he wasnt to concerned about them and said he would send me to a derm to be checked just to air on the side of caution and that I wouldn't be on the fast track 2 week list but the longer waiting list. I left the doctors and actually felt a bit better as i thought if he was really concerned he would send me asap. I think the day after next i woke up with a slight pain in my side, i have had this before and its gone as quick as it arrived, but its all playing on my mind, all i can think is i have skin cancer and its spread to all other parts of my body, i look at my 2 lovely children and my lovely fiance and keep thinking my kids and her are going to grow up with out me. I look at them and want to cry, and i actually have cried privatly a few times over this. Its been a big step for me to post this as its getting me down so bad, i just needed to put it in writing and talk to someone about it ! Im a very scared 30 male who is struggling to cope with all this.

Sorry for the long message in advance

[almamatters]

Hi wanted to :welcome: you to the forum. Sure many of us can relate to how you are feeling. There is a lot of support on here and hope you find it as helpful as I do.

[aljohn]

Thanks for the welcome, i think thats what im looking for someone to talk to about it all. People say to me dont worry you will be fine, I always think maybe this time im write and there really is some thing wrong. Its hard to deal with

[almamatters]

It is hard to deal with I agree. I have had Ha for a long while and switch from one fatal illness to another on a daily basis. I get chest and back pain from rubbish posture but struggle to accept that's what it is. Perhaps it would help to speak to your GP. I am currently waiting for another course of CBT, but it does help to talk to like minded people in my opinion , so it's great you have joined the forum.

[aljohn]

Yea its very hard to believe sometimes, i appreciate you messaging back. Thanks for your time, i will speak to my gp about it

[almamatters]

No problem

[miss sparkle]

This forum is great. I first found it 3 years ago
Sometimes im bad sometimes i cope for ages and sometimes i cope for abit
At the moment im not doing too doing well but i always feel better coming on here , even if its just to read.
Welcome :D

[aljohn]

Thank you for the welcome