TheHusband
29-11-15, 13:02
I want to be really careful how I say this. My wife has been on Citaopram for 5+ years now, and I think it is absolutely the best thing for her, and has made her anxiety bearable (instead of ruining her every waking moment). I would suggest that everybody gives medication a serious thought; do not dismiss it just because of one small side-effect which I am about to discuss.
Yesterday I had a frank talk with my wife about how our relationship often seemed cold and unfeeling. I was upset about a range of issues, and she had a range of issues with my behaviour too.
Out of all this comes the bizarre statement that she does not feel able to hug or cuddle me any more. Like she is somehow embarrassed, or it feels alien, to initiate loving contact. I don't quite know how, but she attributed this to how the medication has changed her.
Obviously the desirable outcome of the Serotonin adjustment is that it makes a person less anxious. Instead of high anxiety about a small dot on your arm, you feel more sensible about it. But perhaps it also affects how caring you feel? Instead of worrying you have hurt someone with a comment, you feel less bothered. Perhaps middling levels of worry/care are damped down to very low levels? All these different emotions are not stored in separate compartments in the brain, and chemicals can wash through a whole host of thoughts and alter them all at once.
When my wife initially noticed that tablets had given her the ability to 'not give a damn' (previously unavailable to her) I thought this was a good thing; it made her view the events of our life in a more rational way. I welcomed it. It was great that one chance word from a friend/teacher/colleague no longer caused her sleepless nights. But several years down the line, we seem to have noticed the effects are not so welcome.
So has anyone else noticed that anxiety-reducing medication also suppresses other emotions and cause strain on a relationship?
Or has anyone noticed that an anxiety condition, without medication, can cause someone to be less caring to their partner? (I do realise that these conditions always cause strain on relationships in general - I'm thinking more about someone feeling unable to perform distinct displays of affection.)
Yesterday I had a frank talk with my wife about how our relationship often seemed cold and unfeeling. I was upset about a range of issues, and she had a range of issues with my behaviour too.
Out of all this comes the bizarre statement that she does not feel able to hug or cuddle me any more. Like she is somehow embarrassed, or it feels alien, to initiate loving contact. I don't quite know how, but she attributed this to how the medication has changed her.
Obviously the desirable outcome of the Serotonin adjustment is that it makes a person less anxious. Instead of high anxiety about a small dot on your arm, you feel more sensible about it. But perhaps it also affects how caring you feel? Instead of worrying you have hurt someone with a comment, you feel less bothered. Perhaps middling levels of worry/care are damped down to very low levels? All these different emotions are not stored in separate compartments in the brain, and chemicals can wash through a whole host of thoughts and alter them all at once.
When my wife initially noticed that tablets had given her the ability to 'not give a damn' (previously unavailable to her) I thought this was a good thing; it made her view the events of our life in a more rational way. I welcomed it. It was great that one chance word from a friend/teacher/colleague no longer caused her sleepless nights. But several years down the line, we seem to have noticed the effects are not so welcome.
So has anyone else noticed that anxiety-reducing medication also suppresses other emotions and cause strain on a relationship?
Or has anyone noticed that an anxiety condition, without medication, can cause someone to be less caring to their partner? (I do realise that these conditions always cause strain on relationships in general - I'm thinking more about someone feeling unable to perform distinct displays of affection.)