First time poster. I just want it to stop...

[Liamjay]

Hi all.

This is my first time I've posted or truth be told had any anxiety of any sort.

I'm a 31yr old male and a bit overweight. I'm normally heathy, of course I've had twinges and aches, colds, flu's etc but noting that's ever caused me concern.......Until last week.

I was laid at home on the couch and kept getting like an electric shock pain in my chest which would shoot up to my head. It was quiet unnerving. I chose to bare with it for a day as it was happening perhaps once a hour..... Then I decided after work to take myself to the local 24hr doctors. They did an ecg and and said that everything was OK, but as the 24 hour doctors was next door to the a+e they transferred me there as a matter of caution.

I had another ecg and the doctor said that everything was fine and it was possibly a muscle strain or a nerve firing or something along them lines (such a relief!)

Since then I just can't stop thinking if they have missed something. My chest now feels fine (it felt bruised where the previous pain was for a few days but that's it.)

The more I think about it the more I google, the more I google the more I think I have bowel or stomach cancer and the chest twinges were from that.

Bowel:- as I passed blood a few months ago (but bright red and I've got piles so it was put down to that)

Stomach:- because I have always had acid reflux for as long as I can remember.

Now I have no appetite at all (it's making me feel sick to eat) my stomach feels like it's tense and cramping and althogh not diarrhoea I'm going to the toilet more then normal, the only way I can describe how my stomach feels it is how it feels after doing sit ups, and these symptoms are adding to the anxiety and making me think it could be something major.

I feel panicky, and I'm thinking about death constantly.

I have a 3 year old son and I'm breaking down thinking I'm not going to watch him grow up etc.

I've always been terrified of anything to do with death and get panicky thinking about it, but now it's at a whole new level.

I just want it all to stop.

I'm going to see a GP (doctor) tomorrow but feel embarrassed, and to top it off I get panicky about going to the doctors in case they give me bad news! Plus to add to this I'm extremely needled phobic. Ive only had blood taken once and that was a massive coaching session to get me to lay down etc.

I have spoke to my wife (who is a midwife) and she has said its in my head but to go to the doctors for assurance.

What a massive part of this fear is I think is her uncle died of stomach cancer and bowl cancer and within a month of being diagnosed he had passed away.

I have no family history of any cancer, and as much as this is a good thing it just makes me think "it's time for a first"

I really can't stop thinking about it and have this horrible sticky feeling of doom.

Any advice would be great.

Cheers

[Njoy704]

Sorry you're going through so much anxiety. I completely understand as I am suffering a health anxiety at the moment. Maybe the bruised feeling in your chest is from rubbing that area. Sometimes when I'm poking and prodding areas that I'm concerned about, the next day that area feels bruised. Also 2 clear ecg is great... I highly doubt something was missed. Anxiety causes a lot of stomach issues. Anxiety affects the digestive system. Whenever I'm under a lot of stress and anxiety, I end up using the bathroom more times than normal and have stomach cramps. And about the needle...Maybe you can ask your doctor about taking an anxiety pill before you get your blood work done? Best thing you can do to shake this off is get your mind off of it. Know you are doing all you can do. And you're getting looked after by doctors and have had the proper tests.

[Traceypo]

As an experienced sufferer of health anxiety, I would suggest you speak to your gp about your thoughts. Please look into therapy, my local trust in the UK have a self referral system which is great. I've found CBT to be so useful. Try to stop these worrying thought patterns as soon as you can, because it's likely to progress and consume you.
Good luck for today.
X

[uru]

One info I find quite reassuring is to google the 'incidence' of those cancers for people your age. I think you'll find it's something like 1-1,000,000. This always make me feel better.

I also have GERD and some throat problems. When I googled and found out that throat cancer is 1) incredibly rare and 2) almost always in people over 60 I was able to dismiss my fears.

[CoraB]

I find no matter how much information I have or reassurance I get I still feel anxious. I looked up that MS (my main worry atm):

1) is not hereditary and even those with relatives with the disease it is still rare to have increased chance of having it - my mind tells me I have two relatives with it and the 2nd relative that was diagnosed was told this too and he still has it!

2) my symptoms could be any number of things and all of my symptoms are not specific to MS - my mind tells me this is how their MS started and I am the right age for symptoms to start.

3) a doctor told me even if i did have it it is controllable with meds in about 85% of cases - my mind tells me if i did have it it will be primary progressive not controllable like my other relatives

Does anyone else feel so convinced of a bad outcome they are looking up like they already have the disease?

i'm having to stop myself going on "MS - just diagnosed" boards!

[uru]

yeah I hear you CobraB. I recently read a paper that said people with anxiety tend to search out information relating to their worries and focus more on/remember negative information they find.

So it seems we are actively trying to fuel our fears.

[Liamjay]

Hi all again, thank you for your comments.

I've still not been to see a doctor, as I couldn't get an appointment! Well I could, but the next available appointment was 23rd December, and I felt silly saying its an emergency.

Anyway, truth be told the last couple of days I've been ok, appetite is low but at least it was there.

Today (I work nights so last night I should say) I woke up at 5pm had a little water, and haven't eaten anything else. I have no appetite and I'm constantly going over cancer etc and it's getting me so scared. I just wish it could go away.

I really really can't understand why I'm feeling like this, or where this anxiety has come from. I've even taken out private healthcare today in case I get diagnosed with anything serious.

My stomach at present feels so tight and bruised, and I keep getting reflux. Water and drinks are fine to keep down, but I can't even face food, since this started on a week ago I've lost 3Ib in weight......

I'm just so scared :-(

I need to destroy my iPad and phone so I can stop googling symptoms and cancers etc, as it's driving me crazy! It's going to give me a mental breakdown I aware.

:-(

[CoraB]

I need to destroy my iPad and phone so I can stop googling symptoms and cancers etc, as it's driving me crazy! It's going to give me a mental breakdown I aware.:-(

I am just the same I am really feeling i am going to have a breakdown if I cannot get a grip of myself with this. Feel like I am losing my mind.

Just woke up and already having pains and twitches and feeling all tembly and anxious.

It seems like you are in the early stages of this so try not to let it snowball (fear maybe too late for me). Make a decision not to google anymore? Maybe we should all try and not google and just report back here on progress?

[Traceypo]

By using Google, yous are not only keeping the fear alive, you are also adding fuel to the fire, take it from someone who knows. Please stay away from it, if Google was so accurate, then we wouldn't need Doctors as we would all be able to self diagnose. If you absolutely can't stay away from it, Google your symptoms and put anxiety in there too, you'll find virtually all is linked to anxiety.
As for the weight loss, a few months ago I convinced myself I had another serious illness, I didn't eat properly and lived in a daze, obviously I lost weight but didn't connect it to loss of appetite, it just reinforced that I had this illness. Was thoroughly checked by two dentists who confirmed it was nothing, appetite returned as did my weight.
Cora, it's never too late, don't admit defeat hun, keep trying with therapy / meds whichever is best for you, it's a journey and even if you don't overcome it, you'll learn ways to deal with it better.
I was where you were a few months ago, I stopped googling, came off here for a little while, stopped visiting medical professionals, pushed myself to go out for walks, played sudoku app as I found once my mind was focused it wasn't thinking about my health.
One of the biggest things, is trust your medical professionals, believe what they say, bare in mind that these people have trained for many years, accrued huge student debts, most likely have mortgages and outgoings to reflect their income, they aren't going to throw all of that away because of malpractice.
Xxx

[Liamjay]

Hi again,

I managed to see my GP today.

I went in explained everything, and he was pretty emotionless to be honest.

I told him I've had acid reflux before but perhaps once every other week, and always cured with gavascone.

He listened to my chest, laid me down and examined my tummy and said that I shouldn't be worried and the pain I have is from Costochondritis.

He told me to take ibuprofen and paracetamol and also prescribed me a months supply of omeprazole.

To be honest when I left I felt relieved as I'm thinking if the doctors not worried I shouldn't be worried, so I went out and got a bite to eat. Then I've had acid all day! I've taken the omeprazole, but it doesn't seem to have done much....... I suppose it's a waiting game now to see what the next month brings.... Iv already got an appointment on the 23rd so we will take it from there.

I'm still anxious and worried in case his diagnosis is totally wrong, but I do feel a lot better.

Also I haven't got any belly pain whatsoever at the moment so that's a bonus!

Liam